Tuesday, June 10, 2025
The Only Constant is Change
I think this is the only picture I took yesterday. Olga and I were on our morning walk and passed this pleasant cluster of flowers across the street. Olga is barely holding on to her patience.
So, some momentous decisions are being made around here.
First, Dave and I have decided to stop Olga's daily outings with her dog-walker. After this week we'll be home to care for her, at least through the summer, and the dog walks have just become too much. She has never seemed to relish going with the dog-walker and I think, honestly, she'd just as soon stay home, in her familiar environment. So that will save us £100 a week.
I think in the fall, when we go back to work, she'll happily spend her days just sleeping. If she needs a midday walk we'll hire someone to take her out locally or I'll come home at lunch to let her into the garden. We'll see how it goes.
Second, and more major, we've decided that next year will be my last working in the library. I had planned to go one or two more years beyond that, but our school has offered some incentives toward retirement that make it a good time to step down. As you know from all my grumbling and grousing, the routines of the library have been wearing on me a lot this year, and 13 years seems like long enough to plead with 12-year-olds to return their overdue Lemony Snicket books. I've put in the request with the school and I don't expect them to oppose it (though theoretically they could).
I'm not sure what I'll do next, if anything, but I don't have any qualms about making the change. I am ready. Of course I'm a bit nervous about how it will all play out financially but I don't think we should have any problems. I will still have income from various sources.
Dave, on the other hand, is going to stay put for the time being. He's a few years younger than I am and he feels like he's still got some game, more power to him.
Last night I took the chocolates from that ridiculously long box I blogged yesterday and put them all in a tiny Tupperware container, where they fit perfectly with room to spare. A much better solution, if less elegant. That box is going out with the recycling and I'm glad to have it gone.
TV update: I have finally persuaded Dave to watch "Poker Face," which I am enjoying a lot. At the urging of one of Dave's colleagues we're also watching "Sense8," on Netflix, which I have mixed feelings about but we're sticking with it so far. I think there's a new season of "The Handmaid's Tale" which we might try, and I am persevering with "The Studio" which I love, though Dave doesn't like the energy. He says the show is too hyper. Finally, we watched one episode of the new season of "The Last of Us," which I liked but Dave was, once again, not thrilled with.
He's becoming harder and harder to please with TV and a lot of times I'll look up during a show and he'll be scrolling his phone. He says he can pay attention to both but when I ask him what someone on the show just said, or try to confirm what just happened, he never knows. He is lost in the scroll.
Retirement makes sense. However it is vital that you have something else that you want to do, in place, before you do retire.
ReplyDeleteGZ, hi. Good to see you pop up occasionally.
DeleteFunny you should say "have something else in place". Since I retired (what does that even mean?) my days have been full to the brim. Not necessarily by doing anything, just being, enjoying. But then, as the apple of my eye often observes, his mother does have remarkable ability to make a grey sky shine.
U
And you too U.
DeleteOne sees too many... usually men...retire with no other interests....and they aren't around for very long...
But Steve here , apart from the company of Dave and Olga should be fine...garden, walking, reading, films...
I think it depends on the person. I can keep myself amused and I'm pretty active in general. Others they may need more defined activities.
DeleteBig changes indeed.
ReplyDeleteI did something similar once I reached 60 and realised I couldn't face another 7 years in my job. Early retirement on a reduced pension. My wellbeing was more important than getting more money.
Exactly! Besides, I would hate to wait until I'm 65 or 67 and then drop dead at 64! (God forbid.)
DeleteExciting news about early retirement! We couldn’t get into The Last of Us, no matter how well rated. We find the subject matter upsetting. We tried the Handmaid’s Tale. It was phenomenal but gave us anxiety attacks.
ReplyDeleteIt is a rather gruesome show, I agree. Plus I'm kind of over the whole zombie thing. It's been so done. "The Handmaid's Tale" SHOULD give us all anxiety attacks!
DeleteBrave but correct decision Steve and I applaud you for it. You will be almost sixty. Clearly your work had become burdensome and though I am sure you could continue for a year or two more, why should you? I have two ideas for your retirement:-
ReplyDelete1) Write a book
and/or
2) Get a part time job at a branch of "Waterstones"
I think that's exactly right -- the job has become unpleasant in many ways and I'm starting to feel like more of a liability than an asset. As for your options, who knows? Not me! (As Ms. Moon often says.)
DeleteSounds good to me, Steve, both re Olga and retirement.
ReplyDeleteAs to Dave (last two paragraphs of your post), the scenario you paint makes me smile. It's the trouble that comes with being in a relationship. Cue eye roll. Recently my father went as far as to tell me that he and my mother come as a package. Ok. Whatever. It was a dig at the fact that after his last performance about two years or so ago I have ceased all contact with him. But not with my mother. No, Father, you and your wife don't come as a package: You are still two different individuals. If only people in relationships would be more aware of it. Seriously, Steve, you don't have to share everything. Tastes diverse. Sorry, that wasn't comforting. Yet I acknowledge your frustration. Think about it another way: In the olden days, before TV and scrolling, people would sit in the parlour room, more or less quietly, read their own books, do needle work, write letters yet in the vicinity of those dear and not so dear to each other without encroaching on each other's space. No, I am not Jane Austen.
As always, love your garden [and your writing],
Ursula
Thanks, U. There's something companionable about sitting together and quietly reading or doing needlework, but scrolling seems exclusionary, at least to me. I don't feel like Dave is really with me in the room when he's doing that. (I really do think he has phone addiction issues.)
DeleteI would love to retire. I count the moments. Good for you. I have a friend who can retire, both in terms of reaching her age limit and financially, but she doesn't b/c she says she just doesn't know what she'd do all day. Dear god. To be so uninspired and boring would kill me.
ReplyDeleteWell, I hope I'm not jumping the gun and retiring too early, but I'm at least leaving THIS job. Who knows, maybe I'll go to work somewhere else.
DeleteSounds like a season of big changes, thoughtful decisions, and a bit of screen-time negotiation. Olga may be the most content of you all right now
ReplyDeleteShe is usually very content!
DeleteI worried a lot about finances before I retired but it turned out to be quite unnecessary. £100 a week is a lot of money, and I agree with you that it is now not money well spent.
ReplyDeleteNext year, so you won't retire until the end of 2026? It seems ages away but I remember how quickly the last year or so at my work passed.
I used to think I could sit here at my desk and also watch tv, but I've come to learn that I cannot. I can switch between the two, though.
The end of the next school year -- so June 2026. I'm a person who doesn't like trying to do two things at once. It stresses me out.
DeleteOlga will probably be happy with your decision. Hard walking on London pavements for dogs must not be easy. And don't worry about what to do in retirement, there is another world out there waiting to be experienced.
ReplyDeleteActually, the dog walker used to take her in a van to Hampstead Heath, so she was on grass. But I think she dreaded that van (where she rode in a crate).
DeleteI didn't make any plans for my 'after-work' life. For a long time I refused to call it retirement - stupid, really. I simply enjoyed not being governed by timetables and meetings, though I missed some aspects of teaching. It was good to have the freedom to please myself and do what I wanted, when I wanted.
ReplyDeleteAs for watching television - sometimes we watch together, sometimes not. It's enough to be comfortable in each other's company.
Well, that's sort of how I feel. I'm not sure this really IS retirement. I'm not sure what the future will bring. Another job is not impossible, but probably unlikely.
DeleteFor of my working life my dogs went all day without a midday walk. If I ever came home early they were asleep. A walk just before I left and another as soom as I got home and they were fine.
ReplyDeleteI think that's true for most dogs. Olga was very young when we first got her a walker, because she was so high-energy! She could never have stayed home all day. She'd have torn the place apart. Now, it's another story!
DeleteEarly retirement sounds great. You can pursue your many other interests. Olga will be thrilled with the change too.
ReplyDeleteYeah, she'd love to have us home all day! But I'm not retiring for another year and I'm not sure Olga will still be around to see the benefits. :(
DeleteI'm glad you've made the decision to retire - the joy you used to have for that job has been missing for a while (seems to me anyway). And from what you've told us about Dave, I could tell he still enjoys his work. Hopefully you'll find something amazing to do instead (maybe work in Hugh Grant's travel bookshop from Notting Hill?).
ReplyDeleteDave definitely enjoys his job, as much as he also complains about it!
DeleteChange is always difficult, but I feel like you heave a sigh before going into work and that speaks volumes. I once had a job and found that every morning I would up in the parking lot, turn my car off, and heave a sigh. It hit me one day that I was done with that job. And I was done sighing.
ReplyDeleteNow, this line:
"13 years seems like long enough to plead with 12-year-olds to return their overdue Lemony Snicket books."
It slayed me!
Yeah, I've been there long enough. I do sigh a lot. LOL
DeleteThat's very early retirement, more like a job change. So maybe you can launch Steve's Guided Walks of London, different levels for different fitnesses. For tourists maybe. I think it would be a great service and you'd like it.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm not sure this is really retirement. Who knows? I'd love to do walks professionally but I don't really want to have to talk to people. LOL
DeleteSteve, congratulations on your decision. I don't think you'll regret it in the least. The comment about Lemony Snicket books paralleled my thoughts before I retired about being fatigued with dealing with the same things year after year after year. My husband and I have similar issues with tv shows that you and Dave do!
ReplyDeleteThere's comfort in routine, but there's also monotony, and after a while the monotony outweighs the comfort!
DeleteI retired early, made sure I could manage financially, and moved from mid-California to S. Colorado! CO is more affordable than CA in retirement!
ReplyDeleteI have been watching Poker Face on Peacock on my tablet and loving it! Also, the Grosse Point Garden Club ... love this one, too! Both are pretty quirky! LOL
Oh, I haven't heard of that Grosse Point show! I'll have to look for it! I'm sure when Dave retires we'll move somewhere more affordable too.
DeleteI've been retired 10 years now and love it. People will tell you that you need big activities to occupy your time, and I guess it's true for some, but I've found slack management to be a real thing that is easy and fun. Leisure is underrated.
ReplyDeleteI think some people are better at keeping themselves entertained than others. Fortunately I've never had a problem with it!
DeleteI was surprised to read that you are retiring after next year. It's good that you and Dave have worked this out and it will be exciting to see what you do next. Hope there are many happy adventures along with peaceful moments in your future, Steve.
ReplyDeleteYes, Dave has been very understanding about all this. In fact he's been urging me to consider it for a while now.
DeleteWell this is good news! And you know what? You're going to love not going to work in that library every day. Let someone else find the Lemony Snicket books. And unlike some of the commenters here, I don't think you should rush into anything having to do with filling your hours. I mean, if something comes up that makes you think, "Yes. I would love to do this," then great. But there's nothing wrong with taking a breath, some time, some thought, and doing that which organically arises. This is so exciting! A new chapter of your life.
ReplyDeleteI'm already finding myself shrugging things off that would have bothered me in the past. I bet next year I'll be completely useless in tracking down overdue books. LOL
DeleteOne hundred pounds a week! That's a pretty good gig to have someone pay you for some exercise while holding a leashed dog. I should look into that.
ReplyDeleteI retired early compared to my peers, some 12 years ago. I am nearly as busy today as I was back then. Between my various projects, boards and other volunteer activities, I sometimes feel over extended still. Never the less, I highly recommend early retirement if you are able to financially and while you are still physically able to go places and do new things.
Yes, an urban dog walker is not cheap! Maybe they're less in suburban or rural areas (if they're even available). I suspect I'll be plenty busy.
DeleteGood for you on both counts! I can't offer any remarks regarding television since I have none. The hundred pounds should come in handy.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have a television for years and never missed it -- the choices were limited and the ads were annoying. But now, with streaming, we can more directly choose what we watch and we do it ad-free, so it's a much more pleasant experience.
DeleteSounds like a good plan both for you and Olga. She's an old lady now and would probably really like not being made to go for a walk midday. As for you, nothing makes a person more unagreeable than a job they resent. I like Boud's idea, walking tours of London. We did a walking tour of Porto in Portugal and it was great, saw the sights and learned the history. But yeah, take your time, enjoy a break until something comes your way. Like Jonboi said, leisure is underrated. It's our culture that makes us feel guilty for not being constantly productive.
ReplyDeleteWe just finished both seasons of the UK production of Utopia (the US version only has one season, we watched about 10 minutes of the first episode after seeing the UK version and nope). It's about a secret group of wealthy and influential people with a plan to save the human race by making 90 of the world population sterile and the four strangers who come together to try and stop them. Kind of gruesome in parts but really good. Also watching Hamish Macbeth, another UK production about the local constabulary in a small village. I'm really enjoying that one. And Marc does the same thing, scrolls on his phone while we watch.
"Utopia" sounds interesting. I'll remember to try the UK version first! I've never been a person who feels compelled to be doing something all the time, or at least not anything complex. I'm happy with reading a book and cleaning the house.
DeleteThis sounds like a period of decisions, some exciting, some sobering. From where I sit (after 11 years retired) the two reasons NOT to leave are 1) you love the job and people 2) you need the money. Sounds like you are set on both. But before you say goodbye, make sure you have a plan. It can be hobbies, new skills to learn, new entrepreneurial opportunities -- something longer term than the to-do list we all have (clean the shed, remodel the bathroom -- things that have a finite end). I think you'll love it and you sure sound ready. I've seen some good ideas in the comments!
ReplyDeleteSobering decisions for Olga, too, not so much for the lack of walk but the reasons why. You two are wonderful "parents" to her. She will be well cared for in these golden years.
(There is a reason why Rick and I live in different houses and part of it relates to TV! So I hear you. Guess what -- as you already know, in the big scheme of things, TV doesn't matter much!)
I'm pretty sure we're set on money. I'm a little concerned about that but we'll see how it goes in the first year or two. I can always get another job if need be. As for my plans, I think those will develop over time. I have some nonspecific goals and that's enough to keep me going, I think.
DeleteLots of major decisions being made in your house. Good for you. I've had times when I've been thinking the same thing but I really do enjoy the exercise it gives my brain to keep up with all the changes at work...most of the time. We'll see.
ReplyDeleteRight now I'll stay put simply because I recently bought tickets to go to London in August and I'll need the extra income to pay for that. I've never been to London in the middle of summer before so that will be a new experience.
Oh, good! Another trip to London! Looking forward to seeing you again! :)
DeleteI know for me, it was the physical part of the job that just got to be too much. I was on my feet all day and I was exhausted by the end of the day. It was harder to get used to retirement than I thought it would be, change is hard, but I love it now.
ReplyDeleteOlga will be fine with fewer walks. When we both worked, the dogs survived just fine with us gone all day. Dogs like to sleep.
I'm sure there will be an adjustment period. I had a taste of it when I lost my job with the NYT in 2009 and wasn't working for about a year after that. All that leisure took some getting used to! (Of course I was applying for other jobs too, so it wasn't all leisure time.)
DeleteI'd much rather sleep than go on walks too! LOL
ReplyDeleteYou can't blame her, right!?
DeleteBig decisions are difficult to make so kudos to you for moving forward! Will you be retired or will you need to/want to look for a different job? I thought I wanted to sub after retiring but that didn't last long. It wasn't the same at all and wasn't worth the stress.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure yet. I'm going to see how it goes. I could eventually go back and do some subbing or something similar.
DeleteThat's a great plan! You probably get tons of advice on what you can do, so here's mine: do nothing for a couple of months.
ReplyDeleteThe heading of your blog post today is actually written on our kitchen wall (it was a gift by an artist friend), the meaning of live for the science teacher who shares my life.
Yeah, that IS my plan, actually -- just take it easy! Take some trips, take some pictures, enjoy life. Then I'll take stock and see how I'm feeling.
DeleteI retired at 55. It was a little early, but Jim was DONE. I was well on my way, so we just up and did it. It was good. I have found that all tasks expand to the time available, so there is not too much empty space in the day.
ReplyDeleteI seldom find myself without things to do! I've never understood people who say, "I'm bored." I never get bored.
DeleteI bet you'll have no problem filling your time. I like YP's suggestion of writing a book. If you need to get out part time, I bet any garden center/nursery would appreciate your expertise! If you're only going to take one photo in a day, Ogla is the perfect subject.
ReplyDeleteI just don't know if I have a book in me.
DeleteI am not sorry I retired. I am not against working again, but I have always said that I will do my next job because I love it. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a good goal -- to work a job you love!
Deleteretirement sounds great. There comes a time when you can't do the job like you want to. There's lots of volunteer stuff out there to keep you busy. I volunteered at a local theatre for front of house. It was great.
ReplyDeleteExactly -- I think I'm not as effective as I used to be and it's probably best for me to try something new.
DeleteIll just add that retirement is fantastic. I settled right in, am incredibly lazy and happy. You'll figure it out.
ReplyDeleteHa! Sounds good to me! Thanks for the support, Celie. :)
DeleteIf you don't end up liking retirement (which I can't imagine), you can always find something else to do, paid or unpaid. As for TV vs scrolling on a phone, I don't really see the difference between the two. I enjoy both, but neither one is as good as a book IMO!
ReplyDeleteAt least TV has a sustained plot to follow, simplistic though it may be, over an extended period of time. Scrolling just snaps your brain from one thing to the next -- mental whiplash!
Delete