tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post5364941807919864042..comments2024-03-28T10:36:00.148+00:00Comments on Shadows & Light: RetreatingSteve Reedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-12151135276171224082009-07-26T08:54:31.039+01:002009-07-26T08:54:31.039+01:00it makes perfect sense to me Steve, we all have to...it makes perfect sense to me Steve, we all have to find our own balance don't we?<br />and seems to me life is for living, in our own way...lettucehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13872380339261609060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-9444577068565917612009-07-23T21:07:26.396+01:002009-07-23T21:07:26.396+01:00sometimes you feel like a monk, sometimes you don&...sometimes you feel like a monk, sometimes you don't!<br /><br />don't worry none of us with drop the dime on you and let the zen hierarchy know you are sharing your journey......<br /><br />you are one of the most reflective people I've ever had pleasure of meeting, the fact that you state you have never enjoyed the retreat itself, makes me think perhaps this particular retreat center isn't a good fit or that you just aren't a retreat type practitioner! there isn't a rule is there that one must go one retreats, is there?<br /><br />now I'm not adverse to suffering, but really steve, spending a week in a place that one 'never has enjoyed' well....<br /><br />suffering happens....but I don't think it should be something one out to seek out.<br /><br />hugs. as reya said you will make the correct choicemouse (aka kimy)https://www.blogger.com/profile/09385557065971602436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-50542544930676445942009-07-23T20:32:47.701+01:002009-07-23T20:32:47.701+01:00Barbara: Yep, that's him. He's sneaky that...Barbara: Yep, that's him. He's sneaky that way. :)<br /><br />Lorianne's words are indeed wise. This whole exchange has given me a lot to think about, which is exactly what I wanted/needed. Sometimes it helps to get feedback, you know?Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-82253491428334277802009-07-23T20:14:59.224+01:002009-07-23T20:14:59.224+01:00This post has given me a lot to think about today ...This post has given me a lot to think about today in terms of how we choose to do things in our busy lives. In the last few years, I seem to have adopted an attitude that if activities, food, or even interactions don't make me feel better about life, then I don't want to take them on simply out of a feeling of obligation (as I often did for most of my life). I have to make an exception for things like my PT exercises and swimming that are necessary for my health. Life is all about balance and choices and the mix is constantly changing; in fact, so are we!<br /><br />Lorianne sounds like a wonderful senior dharma teacher, who is infinitely wise in her advice to you.<br /><br />I did wonder after reading your post whether Dave has a mindfulness practice. I was also trying to picture how it might work for you to go on a Zen retreat together. Then again, that might just be too much of a distraction for either one of you to experience the awakening that such a retreat can offer.<br /><br />Best of luck in making your decision, but you can rest assured there will always be another retreat to attend if you choose to skip this one.<br /><br />I'm assuming your commenter David is actually your DAVE!Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18356998698106275372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-25004033502454594472009-07-23T18:25:23.954+01:002009-07-23T18:25:23.954+01:00It's been years since I've sat a week-long...It's been years since I've sat a week-long retreat, for unavoidable (i.e. work-related) reasons. In my school, it's fairly strange to have a Senior Dharma Teacher who "retreats" as seldom as I do...but life, too, is its own kind of practice, and I firmly believe that Zen is about "practicing how you can, not how you can't." Zen isn't supposed to be a competitive sport; it's about finding your true self in your present situation, WHEREVER that is.<br /><br />If retreating isn't an option, find another way to practice. Retreats are often held up as being a kind of Ultimate Experience, but Zen literature is full of laymen and -women who attained full enlightenment without the "luxury" of a retreat. At the end of the day, I think "everyday practice" is far more important than retreats: everyday practice is where the "rubber hits the road." What good is sitting a week of retreat if the rest of your life is out of balance?<br /><br />Lastly, I've found that occasional one day retreats can be very helpful "even though" they don't sound as macho or impressive as longer retreats. Again, when did Zen become a competitive practice, with everyone one-upping one another in terms of how LONG and HARD we practice?Loriannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610684937868696220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-73985199816701965432009-07-23T16:43:17.193+01:002009-07-23T16:43:17.193+01:00Makes sense to me! You're making a well-infor...Makes sense to me! You're making a well-informed decision. I LOVE YOU! --DaveAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15057418712869966742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-62830575389115448632009-07-23T14:43:47.820+01:002009-07-23T14:43:47.820+01:00You are SO not a monk. What I see is that your rhy...You are SO not a monk. What I see is that your rhythms and life have changed dramatically since last summer, including (but not only because of) Dave. <br /><br />One of the things I love about you is your thoughtfulness. It's so right to give this a lot of careful consideration. I know you'll make the right decision about the retreat (whatever that means).<br /><br />I wonder what you'll decide to do.Reya Mellickerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13076092659507965666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-90922037851011202262009-07-23T14:28:14.218+01:002009-07-23T14:28:14.218+01:00Well, it's really not about choosing between Z...Well, it's really not about choosing between Zen and Dave. As I said, I've long struggled with these retreats, since before I met Dave. He just adds another level of complexity to the situation. <br /><br />This is more about finding the right balance (that word again!) in practice and life. I think it's reasonable to expect that balance to change from time to time.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-45930909497979710672009-07-23T14:09:09.997+01:002009-07-23T14:09:09.997+01:00It seems like you've fallen out of love with Z...It seems like you've fallen out of love with Zen and into love with Dave. I vote for Dave, although Zen served you well for many years. My suggestion is to write off the Zen retreat (or get a refund if at all possible, especially since you have been a paying silent customer for so long) AND you and Dave go away for at least a romantic long weekend. You can find a cute little B & B in a beautiful place in the mountains and the two of you can escape for a few days of bliss. Sounds much better than silence eating brown rice to me!Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11724807799695867204noreply@blogger.com