tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post6191925683048903497..comments2024-03-28T20:37:49.632+00:00Comments on Shadows & Light: HA and AM RememberedSteve Reedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-27298257144427549882020-11-18T14:07:48.719+00:002020-11-18T14:07:48.719+00:00I agree. just part of the lingering patriarchy.I agree. just part of the lingering patriarchy.ellen abbotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00535475792150335186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-24541332567665181022020-11-18T09:13:15.777+00:002020-11-18T09:13:15.777+00:00You are so right, 20202 has stolen a lot from us a...You are so right, 20202 has stolen a lot from us and our relatives. <br /><br />We are struggling to connect with our father who is in a care home. It's complicated by so many regulations and his stubborn refusals to accept any help. <br />I have started to just send him bits by mail, postcards, old photographs, newspaper clippings, that sort of stuff, and he does call me back occasionally to talk about it. But I feel we've lost him. Sabinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09015827501648296977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-57446079281960807922020-11-18T06:44:41.793+00:002020-11-18T06:44:41.793+00:00Good for you for having a real Thanksgiving, as di...Good for you for having a real Thanksgiving, as difficult as your year has been! We'll see how ambitious we get. I thought the same thing about the birth story -- it's such an interesting issue!Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-21229492832258453202020-11-18T06:41:40.015+00:002020-11-18T06:41:40.015+00:00Surely those inheritance rules are more equitable ...Surely those inheritance rules are more equitable these days? It seems anachronistic to insist on genderizing parents on a birth record. Who cares whether you're labeled as mother or father, as long as you have parental rights?Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-47658081132175062772020-11-18T06:39:24.135+00:002020-11-18T06:39:24.135+00:00Yeah, that's similar to my mom's situation...Yeah, that's similar to my mom's situation. She's aware, at least in the moment, and she's in very good humor, but I just don't know what she really understands or remembers. I hate laying all the work on my brother, but he's her legal guardian and he's compensated for it, so there's that.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-21111799036307161562020-11-18T06:37:18.249+00:002020-11-18T06:37:18.249+00:00Ambitious! We'll see how much energy we have. ...Ambitious! We'll see how much energy we have. LOLSteve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-5146385463515198012020-11-18T06:36:54.685+00:002020-11-18T06:36:54.685+00:00Cornish game hens are a good solution. Wonder if w...Cornish game hens are a good solution. Wonder if we can get those here? We could probably get capons or grouse or something. Boris DOES have very buoyant hair!Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-75634378498595222382020-11-18T06:36:07.972+00:002020-11-18T06:36:07.972+00:00Re. the birth certificate, I think it's fascin...Re. the birth certificate, I think it's fascinating too! It's an interesting conundrum.<br /><br />In some ways it's got to be even harder when your dad is close by. Then you'd really feel a responsibility to visit.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-71629155579836059672020-11-18T06:34:14.530+00:002020-11-18T06:34:14.530+00:00Sorry to hear about your Dad. I have mailed Mom a ...Sorry to hear about your Dad. I have mailed Mom a few things -- but she is also weirdly reluctant to open her mail! (I think the staff at her retirement center help her with that, though.)Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-26405941406620197372020-11-18T06:32:47.077+00:002020-11-18T06:32:47.077+00:00I'm lucky because she DOES remember me and kno...I'm lucky because she DOES remember me and know who I am (so far). We haven't progressed to the point where she's completely out to lunch. But as I said above, it's hard to say what she knows and understands about everything going on around her, and how much she remembers later.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-86054753412668143042020-11-18T06:31:20.355+00:002020-11-18T06:31:20.355+00:00Yes, a vaccine would REALLY be something to be tha...Yes, a vaccine would REALLY be something to be thankful for! People often compare Boris and Trump, but I find Boris much more palatable -- he's smarter and funnier and not such a bulldozer.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-54810339908840308402020-11-18T06:29:16.290+00:002020-11-18T06:29:16.290+00:00Oh, and that's a funny (if bittersweet) story ...Oh, and that's a funny (if bittersweet) story about your mom. Aging is so strange.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-19966300940908827382020-11-18T06:28:44.983+00:002020-11-18T06:28:44.983+00:00It's hard to tell what our mom remembers. She ...It's hard to tell what our mom remembers. She always knows who I am, but because she can't really talk, we can't tell what she absorbs from the present moment and how long it stays with her. (If at all.)Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-86077802032031409292020-11-18T06:27:20.564+00:002020-11-18T06:27:20.564+00:00I suppose Thanksgiving is a good opportunity to th...I suppose Thanksgiving is a good opportunity to think about all the things that HAVE gone well this year -- Biden, for example! We need to find some cranberry sauce.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-37904238706405780862020-11-18T06:25:51.139+00:002020-11-18T06:25:51.139+00:00It really has been unbelievable, hasn't it?!It really has been unbelievable, hasn't it?!Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-32845990691664918512020-11-18T06:25:28.708+00:002020-11-18T06:25:28.708+00:00Yeah, it's probably true that I get more out o...Yeah, it's probably true that I get more out of them than she does. It's just so hard to tell what she's absorbing and what she remembers.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-4690822179270722952020-11-18T06:24:54.945+00:002020-11-18T06:24:54.945+00:00Thanksgiving is so inherently American, as we'...Thanksgiving is so inherently American, as we're giving thanks for the safe landing and first harvest of the Pilgrims in North America. I guess it's become a more general expression of thankfulness these days, though.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-62045869653407308202020-11-18T06:23:05.830+00:002020-11-18T06:23:05.830+00:00I think it's interesting to stretch the bounda...I think it's interesting to stretch the boundaries of what we consider customary. I don't see that it matters whether the parent is called a mother or a father, from a governmental point of view.<br /><br />And yes, I am SO thankful that my brother is still nearby. Especially at times like this when I'm unable to be there at all.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-2116705792494512232020-11-18T06:21:11.171+00:002020-11-18T06:21:11.171+00:00Interestingly, the story gives no details about th...Interestingly, the story gives no details about the source of the sperm that made the baby. I wonder if that person is included on the birth certificate? So many questions.<br /><br />Of course it's been hard to watch my mom age, but I'm happy that she is at least in a good frame of mind. She's happy and laughing all the time.Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-79578960000413919782020-11-17T22:29:22.068+00:002020-11-17T22:29:22.068+00:00For our Thanksgiving (which, as you may know, prec...For our Thanksgiving (which, as you may know, precedes yours), I cooked a frozen turkey roll - I was skeptical about how it would taste but it was delicious. (It should have, it was expensive.) I also cooked a couple of turkey thighs because the dark meat is more tender and fits in my husband's soft food diet. I also cooked all the usual vegetable dishes because they fit in my husband's diet also, and it gave me a break from cooking for a few days as we made our way through the leftovers. We will likely do the same for Christmas.<br /><br />That's an interesting situation with the transgender reversal, birth, and re-reversal, or however it might be described. Wherever there is room to push the envelope, it seems humans are hard-wired to do it. jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-11542805980277272582020-11-17T21:26:09.825+00:002020-11-17T21:26:09.825+00:00covid has stolen 2020...so far. with so many peopl...covid has stolen 2020...so far. with so many people in this country in denial about it it could easily steal most of next year too. hope you get the zoom thing fixed up for your mom. the whole reason for naming the father on birth certificates (obviously we know who the mother is) is all about inheritance rights. there was a big shift when the male god gained singular dominance, before marriage became all about insuring the man's children inherited the man's wealth instead of some other man's child.ellen abbotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00535475792150335186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-80109664948102487032020-11-17T20:43:30.880+00:002020-11-17T20:43:30.880+00:00Costco sells great small chickens. We will cook o...Costco sells great small chickens. We will cook one of those chickens in a cast iron skillet in the grill for Thanksgiving. There will be stuffing and sweet potatoes, but probably no pumpkin pie.<br />My brother died in his sleep after having Alzheimer's for 10 years. He was unable to speak the last two years. I had a lot of guilt over not going to see him, but it was far, and there was really no point to it. Fortunately for my guilt, I knew his wife went frequently and he wasn't alone. It's such a terrible disease. I am sorry this has befallen your family.Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02475433199308666648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-74700915847565908062020-11-17T18:34:47.717+00:002020-11-17T18:34:47.717+00:00We do make a thanksgiving dinner with all the trim...We do make a thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings for just the two of us. We buy a turkey breast.Redhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17996243850279671523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-47356296211333198812020-11-17T18:18:52.684+00:002020-11-17T18:18:52.684+00:00We're going to do a couple of Cornish game hen...We're going to do a couple of Cornish game hens this year and a couple of sides. Like you, it's just the two of us. I, too, sometimes get a kick out of Boris but I just wish he'd comb his hair.Catalysthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03804837416104556928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5123631695572626256.post-14210332296268868162020-11-17T17:39:56.619+00:002020-11-17T17:39:56.619+00:00I'm sorry you haven't been able to visit w...I'm sorry you haven't been able to visit with your mom. This year has been really hard. It's been hard to know what to do about visiting my dad & they're scant miles away from me. They keep eating in restaurants and hanging out with people who don't believe in masks. I guess I'm glad they're going to my stepmother's daughter's for Thanksgiving so I don't have to worry about that. Except of course for worrying about them getting COVID. <br /><br />Boy I went down a rabbit hole! I agree about the birth certificate. And I'm actually fascinated by the whole situation!The Bughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07509037206264761261noreply@blogger.com