Friday, January 10, 2020
A Bit of a Ramble
I didn't mean to imply in yesterday's post that I didn't enjoy traveling with my mom. In fact, she and I get along well and we had a great time in New Mexico -- and went on two more vacations together, to Germany in 1997 and to New Zealand in 2004. Sure, she has her little quirks, and I'm sure I have mine, and I'm sure we got on each other's nerves from time to time. But overall we enjoyed ourselves.
My issues at that time were more with myself than with her. I'd just come back from a grand international adventure, living overseas and speaking new languages, and I was eager to develop my personal life and find a boyfriend and progress in my job. None of that was happening, at least not as quickly as I wanted it to. I felt stalled. That was my real frustration -- why I felt, as I said yesterday, like a loser.
Fortunately, things worked out fine over the next few years. I got promoted soon thereafter and my personal life began to burgeon, and then I moved to Manhattan. I just needed time to find my footing.
And now, here I am on the other end of my career, checking out computer chargers! No, seriously, I am quite satisfied with my life in the library. It's sort of a semi-retirement job, I suppose, but I don't need more than that now. Just last night Dave and I were talking about some of our colleagues and all their responsibilities, and I told him I am so happy with my mild little position, in what is physically one of the most pleasant spaces in our entire school.
I've never been a super-ambitious, driven person. This may be a character flaw -- some would call it laziness -- but I've never understood the point of working oneself to death. I just want to do what I need to get by and have a pleasant life, and let's face it -- with no kids to raise or educate, our needs are pretty minimal. (Although I bought Olga a new dog collar the other day and it cost a shocking £41, or $53 -- so maybe I do need more income!)
And it's not like I'm not invested in the library. I feel like I'm learning a lot there.
Speaking of Olga, she is doing much better. She seemed downright frisky yesterday morning, jumping around like a puppy when I mentioned going for a walk. Whatever was bothering her seems to have passed, fingers crossed.
(Photo: A peculiar shop in Soho, last month.)