Sunday, September 13, 2026
Lost or Damaged Balls and Stray Arachnids
While walking Bailey through the nearby housing estate yesterday morning, I noticed these stray footballs on the other side of a very high fence, as impenetrable as a barrier surrounding a prison. It's at least eight feet high with sharp metal at the top to prevent anyone from climbing over. I suppose if your football or basketball somehow winds up on the other side of that fence you just have to live with it, because there's no way to get it back. Of course, my mind immediately set about trying to figure out ways to defeat the system -- a long pole? Chewing gum?
Yesterday was another quiet day at home. I read a New Yorker, including a profile of Johnny Knoxville, the ringleader of the gang behind the "Jackass" films. Apparently there's a new one, which seems improbable to me given that Knoxville is practically my age and thus a little long in the tooth to be pulling Jackass stunts. But it made me think Dave might appreciate this franchise, because he loves juvenile humor and, basically, fart jokes.
Years ago I saw the first two Jackass movies and I thought they were pretty funny -- more so than I cared to admit. So last night we rented "Jackass 3," which I'd never seen, and even though it featured Dave-like humor (one gag involved a guy with a trumpet and the above-mentioned bodily function, which seemed written specifically for Dave), he did not like it at all. We turned it off halfway through. Oh well. I would have finished it, at least -- and might still if I have a spare hour over the next day or two.
It's the lowest of low culture, but hey -- I was inspired to watch it by The New Yorker! Doesn't that count for something? The intelligentsia have taken notice!
Here are the owls that guard our patio from their perch on the fence. I found them both in the cemetery years ago and they've hung there for ages, getting gradually more and more rusty. You can see how bedraggled our climbing hydrangea looks after the dry summer.
I walked the dog in the afternoon and I'm proud to say that once again, she didn't bark at any other dogs. She does this thing where she perks up, points her ears and stares, as if to signal "I SEE YOU and I will CUT YOU," but she's now less likely to let loose with a volley of barking. Some of you have suggested that's because she feels more relaxed and less threatened now, and I hope that's true.
It's so funny because she's the opposite with me and Dave -- warm and cuddly to the point of being annoying. She's in my lap all the time.
It's a gloomy morning here -- we may have had a bit of rain, I can't quite tell. I'm off to Mayfair later today for my last shift of stewarding at the RPS street photography exhibit. It's the last day of the show so hopefully we'll get some visitors. There's a 90 percent chance of rain for the day, so at least I'll be indoors.
Dave snapped this photo of a household visitor on Vivian Swift's watercolor portraits of Olga. Surprise! It is spider season, after all.
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It is spider season all right!
ReplyDeleteSince returning from our hiking holiday in Austria on Wednesday afternoon, I have found Nosferatu spiders in my flat every evening, sometimes two of them, each occupying a different room. Before going to bed, I make the rounds of my flat, turning on the big ceiling lights (which I normally don't like) to check upon every corner. Usually they sit high up on the wall or even the ceiling, where it is hard to get to them, but when they are a little lower, I catch them with the good old glass-and-postcard method and chuck them out where they belong. As I can not sleep knowing there is one of those 8-legged creatures around, I need to get rid of the inaccessible ones, too, and I'm sorry to say that the only way to do this is to kill them using the hoover. Not nice, I know.
Yours is also a Nosferatu one.
Jackass movies? Seriously? :-D
I've never heard them called Nosferatu spiders! Interesting! We left this one alone. Who knows where it is now, but I'm not worried because I know it won't bother us.
DeleteThey appeared "out of nowhere" a few years ago in Germany, and were soon called Nosferatu spiders although their proper name is Zoropsis spinimana. They are among the largest of their kind in Europe and originate from Mediterranean areas, and made their first appearance in Germany in 2005, wikipedia tells me.
DeleteThough not aggressive per se, if it feels threatened, this spider will bite. The effect of the bite on a human is described to be similar to that of a wasp's sting.
I love the watercolours, but I could have done without the spider! I had one about twice that size ( even the husband, who doesn't mind them, said oh that's a big one!!) on my bedroom wall a couple of weeks ago!
ReplyDeleteI'm not afraid of spiders but even I get the willies when I see a really big one.
DeleteNot a fan of big spiders like that, don't mind small ones, but large ones have to GO - one way or another!
ReplyDeleteThere's an old saying my Mum would say "If you want to live and thrive, let the spider stay alive" BUT..............
Ha! Well, I never kill them, but I have been known to put them outside -- even though I think they would prefer to stay in!
DeleteI note that you have finally admitted that you are "long in the tooth". How did this common expression arise? The idiom comes from the practice of estimating a horse's age by looking at its teeth. As horses age, their gums recede. This recession makes their teeth appear longer.
ReplyDeletehumans as well. gums recede . Loss of teeth results unless gums are surgically improved. That works only if the old codger is healthy, so s ays the dental person.
DeletePretty much any animal with teeth gets "long in the tooth" as they age, I think. Happens to dogs, too.
DeleteYou should have put a warning on your post, I hate spiders.
ReplyDeleteSorry about that! I thought the word "arachnid" in the headline would warn people, but clearly several of you were taken by surprise. :)
DeleteI love that Bailey is so comfortable w/you. I volunteer at a shelter; seeing them curled up alone for most of the day is awful.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I love dogs, I don't think I could work in a shelter. It would kill me emotionally.
DeleteI am rather fond of the September spider time. Those large ones that scuttle across the carpet as you watch television. The early morning ones in the garden as they leave many spider webs in the mist, the webs sprinkled with dew. Also heard the owl the other night, Autumn is definitely coming.
ReplyDeleteI definitely prefer the garden ones to the carpet ones!
DeleteQueen Olga Girl !!!
ReplyDeleteStill presiding in our living room!
DeleteThere is silly slapstick, and then there is stupid slapstick. Jackass crossed the line someplace. I would be unkind to the spider.
ReplyDeleteThe appealing thing about Jackass (if there is any appealing thing) is the inventiveness of the pranks. They're often absurd, but really, HOW do they come up with this stuff?!
DeleteI have never seen a Jackass movie; it just never struck me as funny.
ReplyDeleteLove the Olga tribute though the spider would be removed at once!
If you've never seen one, how do you know?! I never thought I would laugh at them either and yet I do, although two hours is a lot of Jackass.
DeleteEven though I have enjoyed the New Yorker magazine in the past, its recommendation of this movie series would not convince me to see any. But, if it makes others happy then they should go for it. Maybe someone will figure out a way to corral those watward balls, perhaps a long pole with a basket scoop?
ReplyDeleteWell, The New Yorker didn't really recommend it -- they just profiled its creator! You know, a long fishing net would do the trick.
DeleteI have never seen one Jackass movie. I forgot they even existed. I am glad that Bailey is starting to not overreact to other dogs. Progress! Love the watercolor of Olga, but sans the spider!
ReplyDeleteI'd forgotten about them too until this most recent one came out. I do think those guys are getting a little too old for this! LOL
DeleteNope. Never seen a Jackass movie. Never want to see one. I really do think of those movies as delighting the little boy in men.
ReplyDeleteNice spider! I don't think I'd challenge her though.
Your owls remind me of a little flamingo rusting away on my garden fence. I can't even remember where she came from.
It's definitely juvenile male humor. No question. We just left the spider alone!
DeleteOh, I miss Vivian so much! She was one of my inspirations to do pet portraits, she's so darned good. I'll pass on the Jackass! I rather like the rust on the owls; more character. And I'm glad Bailey has improved so much with other dogs. Definitely a plus. Happy week.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I miss Vivian too! I heard from her after Olga died -- she was very kind about our loss. Hopefully she's still out there reading now and then!
DeleteI was thinking a fishing net on a long pole might help to retrieve the footballs. Scoop them up and toss them over the fence.
ReplyDeleteJackass movies are new to me. Raw humor typically is not for me, so I'd pass.
Vivian Swift is very much missed. Her work is outstanding and Olga's portraits are wonderful. Do you hear from VS?
Yeah, the fishing net is a good idea! I haven't heard from Vivian in about a year, I think.
DeleteBailey seems to have found her people. I wonder if the barking was triggered in the shelter? So much defense needed. It seems to be history now anyway.
ReplyDeleteWe just don't know anything about her history, so who knows where that defensiveness comes from. I do think she came from a tough place where she had to be dominant all the time. Hopefully that urge will subside over time.
DeleteI had to laugh at your 'spare hour' comment. You're retired! You should have nothing but spare hours. But I get it. I'm retired and spare hours are hard to find sometimes. I've never even heard of the Jackass movies but I gather it's grown men doing really stupid stuff. I hope you let the wolf spider be.
ReplyDeleteThere's ALWAYS something to do, isn't there?! Yeah, your description of Jackass is completely accurate.
DeleteI haven't seen any of the movies but I have seen clips from when it was a television show. I get the humor but I guess a little of it does me. I'm not sure I would get through an entire movie of their stunts.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think a TV show in a shorter format would be better than a movie. Two hours of Jackass is just too much.
DeleteI don't think I've ever seen Jackass movie and have no desire to. Not a fan of spiders either. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis whole post was a let-down for you, wasn't it?! LOL
DeleteI love the spider on the Olga artwork!
ReplyDeleteIt's a beautiful spider, objectively speaking!
DeleteYour watching owls are very reminiscent of Australian children's television characters, Hoot and Hootabelle. They would have welcomed the spider.
ReplyDeleteMade quick work of it, you mean! LOL
DeleteSpider season, coming in before the weather changes.
ReplyDeleteYou Olga portraits are beautiful. . Sweet girl. She is SO missed.
We love Bailey, but Olga will always be missed.
DeleteYou have to give me a warning when there is going to be a photo of a fucking huge spider, my cousin would call it a spider with boots on. Gives me shivers.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you and Bailey all found each other.
I thought the word "arachnid" in the headline would be enough! LOL! It is indeed a spider with boots on, though not a biting or toxic kind (to humans).
DeleteOne of our Spanish friends lived in the Peak District of England for several years. She’s phobic about spiders and said she lived in fear the entire time she was there. She said the spiders were as big as pigeons. I think she exaggerates. So nice to see the beautiful Olga portraits.
ReplyDeleteIn the Peak District?! Who knew?! I would have thought it would be too cold up there for any impressive spiders.
DeleteAs she explained: They all came inside!!!
DeleteI'm sure Olga would have snapped the spider up if she could.
ReplyDeleteNah, she would never eat a spider. She might have glared at it, but that would be all.
DeleteThat spider is BIG! I've never watched the Jackass franchise films and doubt I would like them although I am sometimes in the mood for silly stuff.
ReplyDeleteIt's very different from anything I would normally watch, but I guess it's good to vary our media consumption!
DeleteLovely spider. I haven't seen any around my home in quite a while though there are a few webs outside.
ReplyDeleteI'd be scared of Spiders in Australia -- you all have some seriously frightening ones. English spiders are wimps by comparison.
DeleteJackass? Honestly, I find that a bit shocking, never in a million years would I have guessed that.
ReplyDeleteI am teally impressed with your dog handling skills! Bailey has come a long way in a short period of time!
Ha! Well, it's not something I'd watch every day, but it did amuse me, I must admit. Bailey is improving but she still has a long way to go!
DeleteOh yikes, that spider would have stopped me in my tracks.
ReplyDelete