Thursday, September 13, 2007

Hell's Kitchen, Sept. 2007


Proving that there’s a bit of the beast in all of us, I had an interesting experience with “customer service rage” the other day.

I went to Dunkin Donuts for a Baskin-Robbins ice cream cone. On the menu, it said double cones were $3.49, with waffle cones an extra 60 cents. So I ordered a waffle cone, two scoops, and paid with a twenty.

Only when my change came back did I realize I’d been overcharged -- the bill came to $6.50 or something. I pointed out the problem, but the counterman said I’d ordered two scoops, which is apparently NOT the same as ordering a double. He charged me for two single cones, plus an extra dollar (?) for the waffle cone.

I tried to argue my case -- that the menu was deceptive, that $6.50 was way too much to pay for an ice cream cone, that waffle cones were only 60 cents. Finally, I just told him I wanted my money back. He said he couldn’t open the register.

Throughout all of this I got more and more frustrated, because he also didn’t speak English very well. I could tell that as I was trying to firmly and rationally make my case, he didn’t understand a good part of what I said. He just had a sort of blank expression.

“Look, in ENGLISH, ‘two’ and ‘double’ are the SAME THING,” I finally said. And as the words came out, I suddenly realized that I was being a complete jerk. I was arguing over a couple of bucks with a guy who probably made that much in an hour, and by impugning his knowledge of English I was perilously close to making an ethnic or cultural slur.

All of which was quite illuminating. Zen teaches us that there are no divisions, that all our “us-and-them” ways of looking at the world are utter falsehoods. I saw that within me, at least at that moment, there was an “other” -- an angry man, maybe even a racist. I was also making an “other” out of the guy at the counter.

I don't think I was wrong in the dispute, but the whole episode was still embarrassing. I doubt I'll go back to that Dunkin Donuts any time soon. And if I do, I’m ordering a “double.”

5 comments:

  1. Steve, I know the feeling you are describing well.

    A couple of years ago I rode my bike to the university football game. Once there, a security guy told me that I could not bring my helmet and bike pump into the stadium because the bag I had them in was too big. It was not bigger than the large purses being carrier by many women being let in and I tried to make that point to the guy.

    I got into this huge argument with this fellow and at one point I had to stop arguing and apologize to him for making an embarrassing comment which attacked him, rather than the situation. I felt like a total creep.

    Even though I ultimately prevailed in my argument, my enjoyment of the game was tainted by my boorish behavior.

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  2. I had a similar experience at a Haagan Daz store not that long ago. They gave me the same excuse, that they couldn't open the cash register. Wow.

    The one benefit I can think of from that experience is that I blew off some steam.

    Customer service no longer exists in the U.S. - it's part of our fall from being a great empire to being a "second world" country.

    Oy vey.

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  3. Certainly more trouble than you needed over ice cream.
    Sorry, about that incident. Did you get the ice cream, and did you like it?

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  4. i think these chain fast food type places have difficulty getting people to translate special orders from the menu to the registers.

    i went to McD's and ordered a "quarter pounder with only ketchup". i got one with cheese. when i told the lady at the register she said you order a quarter pounder not a "quarter ham" as if i should be expected to know the lingo on the register.

    so next time i went i tried to simplify it for her with "quarter pounder no cheese, plain with ketchup". same lady at the register, "it's not really plain then". no shit. "ok then i'll have a quarter pounder no cheese, hold everything except ketchup". she was ok with that phrasing.

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  5. i was pondering a serious and/or heartfelt comment but your other comments have made me laugh.

    the perils of fast food ordering....

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