I watched “The Silence” last night, the last film in my Bergman trilogy. It was far more surreal than the first two. There were long stretches with no dialogue, during which a boy plays in the vast hallways of an old hotel in a fictional country at war. I’m having a little trouble relating it to “Through a Glass Darkly” and “Winter Light” as an element of a trilogy. The faith issues in the first two were very literal, whereas this one, not so much.
Speaking of faith, my Buddhist practice has really taken a slide lately. I need to get back on the cushion! I haven’t been going to the gym as much, either. It doesn’t feel bad, though -- it’s kind of nice to not feel as driven, to be more gentle with myself. Maybe this is what happens as we get further into our 40s? Or am I just being lazy?
(Photo: "Say it with flowers," Greenwich Village, Sept. 2008)
I know exactly what you are talking about. Even at 59, I had been feeling guilty on days when I didn't practice the piano. But then I realized that rigidity takes the joy out of sitting down to play. I have recently become more accepting of the fact that not every day has to have the same rhythm. Deviation from a pattern is sometimes very fulfilling. Enjoy your time off the cushion. It will be more rewarding when you return.
ReplyDeleteLove the pic ... made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI think every practice is cyclical. On the cushion, off the cushion, back on. It's like breathing.
I had a teacher who was really into daily practice, but she always said, "But if you never miss a day, then something is out of balance."
You're anything but lazy!
You know, I've been feeling and thinking similar things lately - and have come to the conclusion that being gentle with myself - especially in this time of transition (for me) is REALLY what is best for me. I'm only running 2 days a week (as opposed to 5 or 6), and just going to work, reading, writing, thinking and trying to have a small social life - and it feels good. But, I also need to start plumbing the spiritual again soon . . . I feel it calling to me.
ReplyDeleteP.S. - I like the contrast today's picture provides. :-)
ReplyDeleteI've always found that when I think of my routines as commitments, they are doomed.
ReplyDeleteYou lazy? No way! Everyone needs a break from routine, a bit of a shift now and then. You're right not to beat yourself up over it. You'll have a better time with your meditation after a break...
ReplyDeleteSometimes being lazy can be kind of zen...time to breathe at least. Or that's what I'm telling myself!
ReplyDeleteI'm finding myself shifting toward a more meditative practice and away from concentrating on the concrete. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed by what is happening out there financially and politically.
ReplyDeleteMerle and Barbara are very wise.
ReplyDeleteI love "The Silence", but at the time it was released in the US it played at "art houses" of the time which was code word for dirty movies. I am sure the dirty old men got very frustrated wading through all the Swedish angst to get to the few seconds of racy images. It's also the closet he ever came to channeling Fellini.
ReplyDeleteYou're lazy.
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHAH!
Nah, take a break. Of course, I've already gone far and beyond that, A YEAR AND NO GYM!
It's exhausting man!