Thursday, November 12, 2009

Sleepwalking


Thanks to everyone for the words of encouragement regarding the job loss. I'm in such a strange frame of mind right now. I feel a little like a sleepwalker, or someone in a surreal movie. I come to work, sit at my desk, and yet I feel like I'm not really here -- I suppose because my mind is already thinking about next steps. Very bizarre.

I went to New Jersey last night and Dave made dinner -- a comforting butternut squash risotto. We watched "Top Chef" and talked about the future. That future is a big blur at the moment, but I have a lot of options and possibilities to think through. I need to sit down and make some lists and charts and graphs and calculate the possible outcomes.

I am still bowled over by the timing of my cat's death. My anxiety would be tenfold if the cat were alive, because that would complicate my future even further. Isn't it strange how things work out, even when they're tragic?

All of this is simply preparing me for the next step. At least I'm being pushed forward.

(Photo: Plywood wall around a construction site, Spanish Harlem, last week.)

2 comments:

  1. You almost sound liberated by your release from your job. That's an excellent way to view it. It's so easy just to stay where it's comfortable, but every now and then we are pushed into new territory as you have now been. I am hoping you will come out with a dream job as a result. I hope it's a job that allows you to take pictures. And write. And talk to people. And maybe even go out for some gourmet business lunches. I can't wait to see what you come up with.

    As sorry as I am about Armenia's passing, I can see how not having to worry about a pet right now makes planning your future a lot easier.

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