I was reading an article in Newsweek yesterday about children of privilege who go on to become terrorists, guerilla fighters or outright criminals: Leopold and Loeb, Che Guevara, Osama bin Laden, and the recently detained Detroit underwear bomber, the son of a wealthy Nigerian doctor. There were other examples, too, and as I recall the ringleader of the 9/11 terrorists grew up in relative privilege in Egypt.
This got me thinking about the link between the freedom that comes with wealth and corresponding feelings of sadness or emptiness. It's not a new idea -- Edward Arlington Robinson wrote "Richard Cory" more than a century ago. A core feeling that money has failed to produce fulfillment, which presumably led Richard Cory to kill himself, may also lead some jihadists to turn to their fanatical ideals.
If you talk to teachers or parents, they'll tell you that children want boundaries. They want direction and discipline, even while they chafe against it. The same is true of dogs, who often seem happier with the attention and direction they get from good training than when their neuroses are running wild.
I think the same is true of all of us. We need the structure and discipline of boundaries and rules, even if only the rules we set for our own conduct. People have an inherent ability to prosper and flourish in difficult circumstances -- how often have we heard older couples say the leanest years of their marriages were the happiest, or heard elderly people look back with nostalgic longing for difficult periods like World War II or the Depression? The rigors imposed by those circumstances helped guide their lives, reducing their choices and their opportunities for wallowing in destructive emotions like self-pity.
I'm not saying we need less freedom. But it's interesting that we yearn, by nature, for some level of discipline and maybe even austerity. When we don't have it, we become Paris Hilton -- particularly if wealth and excess become substitutes for any real human emotion.
(Photo: Aliens in Chelsea, last Friday.)
Great post...Most of my loved ones who've enjoyed financial privilege have struggled mightily with personality and life direction issues. It does seem that the freedom from having to really work for one's living often results in people looking elsewhere for purpose -- whether it's apparently outward to religious fanaticism, or more inward to self-absorption, addiction to drugs or sex or spending or travel, etc. Like it or not, adversity does build character, and most privileged folks I've known are emotionally immature in my eyes. My most "balanced" privileged loved one is a philanthropist, semi-pro writer, and a darn fine mom. Most of the others are, sadly, rather troubled...no terrorists in the mix that I know of, though! Whew.
ReplyDeleteF.
This is such a good post. There are other negative behaviors like eating disorders that seem to prevail mostly among upper-middle class girls/women. Many of those same women are compulsive shoppers.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to saw just how much money any one of us needs. If asked, most of us would be more than willing to have more than we currently have. But it does seem apparent that going beyond a certain level of wealth is a prescription for disaster.
We had a long discussion of this very topic on my recent road trip with two other women. We recognized that some of our best years were those when money was tight and we had to consciously make choices. There was a real sense of satisfaction from knowing we had made ends meet once again.
in many families parents don't spend as much time with their children-- children may feel slightly disconnected and look elsewhere for acceptance. Structure and rules are very important, but impassive, stolid, or severe parents drive kids away. emotion and love have a big place in discipline.
ReplyDeletesome children can't develop empathy and good morals if no one is there to be that loving, patient guide.
in many families parents don't spend as much time with their children-- children may feel slightly disconnected and look elsewhere for acceptance. Structure and rules are very important, but impassive, stolid, or severe parents drive kids away. emotion and love have a big place in discipline.
ReplyDeletesome children can't develop empathy and good morals if no one is there to be that loving, patient guide.
i'm sure you're right Steve, this is a good post
ReplyDeleteand becoming Paris Hilton?
eeek thats such a scary thought