This is a geranium (really a pelargonium) variety called "Vancouver Centennial" that I bought several years ago. It has pretty variegated leaves and these bright red flowers. Ours is looking a little ragged because I've never cut it back and it has a lot of faded old foliage on it. Reminder to self: Next spring I need to cut all our geraniums back HARD. For some reason I always find that so difficult to do.
Remember that almost-dead hydrangea I found next to a trash can about a month ago? It's sending out tiny new leaves. It will be fine.
This morning, as I was making coffee, I was for some reason thinking about an episode I experienced in college. This involves a sex joke and there's no way to relate it without bring crude, because we're talking about college guys here, but if you'd rather not read a sex joke (an unfunny one, to boot) just skip down to the next picture.
It was autumn 1984, I was 17 years old and I had just moved into the dorms to start my freshman year in college. The guys on my floor were all in the process of getting to know each other and there was a guy named Marty who lived at the end of the hall who was quite boisterous. He seemed to think he was the life of the party, though now I suspect he was overcompensating.
Our dorm was co-ed, with girls living on the east side of the building and guys on the west side, and hallway doors between the two that were locked at night and re-opened in the morning. One day we were sitting around talking and Marty told us that if we were walking down the hall in the morning and saw a pretty girl we were supposed to shout "BEMHO!" This stood for "Before Early Morning Hard-On." And all the guys just laughed as if this was the funniest thing in the world.
I'm sure I laughed too, but I remember thinking, why is that funny? I didn't even really understand it. I still don't. I mean, I get the biology, but not any inherent humor.
(Incidentally, the Urban Dictionary website has a definition for BEMHO that's similar to, but not quite the same as, Marty's. It replaces "before" with "basic" -- which sort of makes more sense. Apparently this weirdness wasn't original to Marty, but he might have twisted it up a bit.)
Anyway, for years I puzzled over this joke. Which is funnier than the joke itself -- the fact that a minor episode of college life perplexed me so much that I still can't let go of it and I'm nearly 56 years old. I bet none of the other guys in my dorm remember it -- probably not even Marty, wherever he is.
The only reason I'm relating this story now is because I finally had the realization that the sense of otherness I experienced upon hearing it -- that sense of not understanding, of not being part of the group -- isn't because I was not into girls or was otherwise different from the guys in my dorm, as I believed at the time. It's because it was A STUPID JOKE! In other words, this episode was not about me at all. It was about Marty's lame sense of humor.
Which is kind of liberating, in a way.
(If any of you laughed at that joke, don't tell me.)
Well, now I feel like I have to write more for those of you who might have skipped down to this point, but to be honest, I don't have much more to say this morning. Sorry! I brought you all the way down here for nothing!
My list of overdue materials is down to six pages, which isn't terrible but also isn't great, given that today and tomorrow are our last days with students before summer break. I guess some of these library accounts are going to have to linger unresolved into the next school year. C'est la vie.
That "joke" is not at all funny.
ReplyDeleteI had some of that purple leaf creeper plant a while ago. I started with a small piece about four inches long and in no time at all it had covered the pot, part of the porch and was wandering off across the grass! I cut it back, I cut it back, I cut it back, I offered pieces to others, I eventually dumped it in the green waste bin. That stuff just goes nuts.
Maybe the cutting back is why I don't like geraniums. Except for the rampant angel wing begonia, I'm very reluctant to cut back. Or to thin seedlings. Total fail in that area!
ReplyDeleteOdd how we remember trivia from long ago. It's usually those uncomfortable memories that make it into the data bank. I expect it's related to survival or something.
The humor is lost on me, as well. And to think I was so excited to see the title “Crude College Humor.” I should have trusted my instincts, I’m still on crude adolescent humnor. Anyway, I’ve never seen a geranium flower like that. Stunning. And it makes me so happy when you rescue plants and nurse them back to health.
ReplyDeleteI had that purple Tradescantia when I lived in my flat many years ago....a friend used to refer to it as the "purple people eater".
ReplyDeleteYeah, Marty was not a funny guy. I'm guessing only very drunk girls slept with him.
ReplyDeleteI've seen that Vancouver centennial geranium at greenhouses and love it but I'm not willing to pay the price for what is essentially an annual here.
Marty is probably on the city counsel in some podunk town in a midwestern state.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for his wife.
Even switching to 'Basic' doesn't make it funny. Sounds like Marty was overcompensating with his attempts at humor, too.
ReplyDeletePoor Marty - I hope he got his act together eventually! I'm glad you realized that it was the "joke" and not YOU that was the weird thing. Although to be frank, you CAN be a little weird sometimes. :)
ReplyDeleteWe are TERRIBLE at trimming our geraniums! Ms. Pinky is just a monster at this point & will take over the entire deck. It's crazypants out there.
I'm usually entertained by stupid jokes, but no... that's not even a joke. In fact, it seems a little juvenile for a college guy. You know, the Urban Dictionary can be quite a useful resource!!
ReplyDeleteI like how you've captured Olga in that last photo.
It wasn't much of a joke but it wasn't as naughty as I expected it might be. I went to an all-women's Catholic college and we came up with worse stuff than that from time to time. Usually drinking had something to do with it. I wasted a lot of my College days which I am not proud of but I was young, immature, and silly. Gladly, I grew out of it! :)
ReplyDeleteMarty will forever be four years old with his lack of humor, other than anything below the waist. Dumb. Maybe it was just his lame way of trying to establish a tribe of morning tent pitchers.
ReplyDeleteYour geranium is very strange in a beautiful sort of way. Pretty cool! Savior of the Hydrangea, well done, Sir! It lives!!!
The funniest part of your blog is the 2 sentences after the picture! We constantly have to cut back plants around here - it would revert to jungle in a heartbeat! Glad to see those happy little leaves on the rescued hydrangea.
ReplyDeleteNo laughing here, either. It was just a juvenile comment by someone who didn't know how to actually be witty. Hopefully Marty matured to the point where he cringes when he remembers it, but I wouldn't be surprised if Ms Moon's prediction is the correct one!
ReplyDeleteI had a couple of potted geraniums last summer and intended to cut them back and bring them inside for the winter, but never got around to it. They died in the garage, a slow lingering death that made me feel like a terrible person.
Your description of your dorm reminded me of my dorm when I went to a SUNY university in upstate NY. We had a co-ed floor too, but there were never any locks between the two sides. It was the 9th floor of a "tower" and the rooms encircled the elevator shafts in the middle. Our floor was actually kind of peaceful compared to the all boys floor on the 8th floor and the all girls floor on the 7th floor. In a way, it seems like it was yesterday! PS: You are amazing with plants!
ReplyDeleteI love your geranium flower. It's so lovely.
ReplyDeleteTeenager hormones are a pretty powerfully insane force of nature. The things we heard and said back in the day can make us cringe.
I rolled my eyes at the lame joke, however, I did laugh at this comment: "Although, to be frank, you CAN be a little weird sometimes."
ReplyDeleteThanks to The Bug for the LOL
That red geranium is spectacular ... I have never seen one like that before!
I have never over wintered a geranium, always believing they were annuals. We planted them this year, they're on opposite sides of the driveway. The western pot is doing well, the eastern pot is not getting enough sun. Next year we'll know better.
ReplyDeleteI think that just about every college freshman dorm had a "Marty". Mine did, and he was a tedious jackass. Problem was not you. Overwintering a Geranium, who knew?? :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't find it funny (and you're right it doesn't really make sense) but demeaning to those young women they shouted it at.
ReplyDeleteAnd what an unusual geranium flower. I have a hard time cutting things back too.
It sounds to me like little Marty still had the mentality of a middle school kid, and not a college freshman.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely stupid and not at all funny.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
My sister can overwinter geraniums. I lack the knack.
ReplyDeleteI treat my geraniums as annuals; they're not expensive and that way I can get new colors every year. This year there were only boring ones and no Martha Washingtons, my favorite. The joke was dumb. I wouldn't even consider it a joke, more of an asinine remark.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. It is a stupid joke as were many of the jokes of that type. You stand affirmed. As for your wayward students, have you considered locking them up until they commit someone in their family to bringing in the books? Might work.
ReplyDeleteRiver: It DOES go nuts. It's a type of Tradescantia that I know as Purple Heart. That whole plant came from a tiny piece I cut from a houseplant I grew in Florida (and that my brother now has in his yard).
ReplyDeleteBoud: I can't thin seedlings either! And perhaps you're right about uncomfortable memories. It's our brains telling us not to get in that situation again?
Mitchell: I thought this post would be way too vulgar for many readers, so it's funny you were disappointed by its mildness!
Frances: Ha! It DOES kind of take over. We have a big one at school as well, taken from a cutting from this one.
Pixie: I suspect Marty himself was drunk a lot of the time. The pelargonium is sold as an annual here as well, but I've pulled it through two winters and I think with some pruning it would be fine as a perennial.
Ms Moon: Ha! I bet he's some kind of financial guy of middling success.
Bob: I know! It's such a weird expression. I wonder where it came from?
Bug: I wear my weirdness as a badge of honor! LOL
Kelly: I was surprised the Urban Dictionary even had an entry for it. I always thought Marty just made it up.
Ellen D: Well, that's partly what college is for -- juvenile hijinks. I'm glad no one else sees the humor in Marty's "joke"!
Linda Sue: He was definitely trying to be Mr. Jovial on the hall.
Wilma: The purple Tradescantia plant in the third picture actually comes from Central America, I think. So it might be native where you live!
Jenny-O: But isn't it funny that I've remembered it all this time? The brain is a strange thing. As for your geraniums, at least they are easily replaced, should you choose. :)
Michael: Co-ed dorms were quite progressive at the time, I think! There were two other identical buildings to mine, one all boys and one all girls. The boy's building was well-known as a hellhole.
Robin: Yeah, and it's such an awkward time overall. We're all trying to be cool and fit in.
Marcia: Ha! Well, she's right about that. As I told her, I relish my weirdness.
Allison: I threw out some of ours but I've brought four of them through several winters. They do need some pruning and care, though, or they start getting leggy and kind of yucky-looking.
Jim: Ha! Yeah, "tedious jackass" pretty much describes Marty as well. He seemed to think he was living "Animal House."
Ellen: The funny thing is, I don't remember anyone actually shouting it. Only Marty TELLING us to shout it. So I guess no one else particularly took to it either. (I hadn't really thought about that before!)
Jennifer: Ha! Pretty much!
Janie: I'm glad you think so and I am obviously not alone in this!
Debby: Some people cut them back, strip them of soil and hang them in a paper bag for the winter, and then re-root the cuttings in spring. I don't do anything that severe. I just bring them in on winter evenings when the temps dip below freezing but otherwise they live outside.
Margaret: Yeah, it's really not a joke. There's no punchline or structure!
Catalyst: I WISH I could walk around arresting and detaining them all. Every librarian has an authoritarian streak! LOL
I'm surprised anew at reading of people overwintering geraniums and treating them as annuals. Here in Australia they are permanent, we plant them, they grow, we trim them if they get straggly. That's it. They just keep on living.
ReplyDeleteBefore makes no sense but Basic certainly does.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest though, a lot of what we joked about in college wasn't funny and probably didn't make a lot of sense to the much older me now.
Yikes, you're going to have to send out the Library Police! Do you get much of a break during summer or just quieter work days?
ReplyDeleteAnd we all have things we didn't "get" in college. Age and life experience does that to a person!
Why will they?
ReplyDelete