Well, I'm headed back to London today. It's been a productive visit and I'm glad I came. I got to spend time with Mom and help my brother with managing some of her stuff, and I'm taking home some old pictures and a handful of other family belongings. (I'll collect more at Christmas.)
Oh, and I got the quilts mailed! Woo hoo! We took them to the post office yesterday and sent them out for a relatively reasonable $100, which is only slightly more than it would have cost me to check them in an extra bag on my flight. (Plus, this way I don't have to juggle them through the airport and all the way back to my house.)
After that we went to lunch at a Mexican place where this car with a fun wheelcover was in the parking lot...
...and then went to visit Mom. We took her outside in her wheelchair and rolled around the grounds of her retirement center on the same path we used to regularly walk years ago. Hopefully it was familiar to her. She seemed to get a kick out of the ducks in the pond, and we sat and watched passing boats on Julington Creek, a branch of the St. Johns River. I just talked to her as if she knew exactly what I was saying, and she did seem to react at appropriate times, so maybe she understands more than we know.
The retirement center has a sort of carillon which chimes out familiar tunes and hymns every half hour or so, and at one point it began to play the hymn "Holy, Holy, Holy." I (miraculously) remembered enough of it from my Presbyterian childhood to begin singing along, and Mom mouthed the words of the first few lines with me. So she remembers it too.
Again, it's good to see that some wires are still connecting. I have to reassess what I wrote a few days ago -- that she's like a snowy TV screen. I think there's still a little bit of programming coming across those airwaves.
Last night my brother and older niece and I shared a bunch of retro music videos with each other -- they wanted to show me videos of '90s and early aughts bands like My Chemical Romance and Limp Bizkit, which we'd been talking about in the car. I remembered some of them from the gym, when music videos were often playing while I endlessly climbed the Stairmaster back then, and I responded by showing them Alien Ant Farm and Eminem, which also vividly impressed me at that time. My musical tastes are gentler than my brother's -- he likes more growly rock -- but we still had fun.
And now, off to the airport. I'll be landing at Heathrow around 7 a.m. and going straight to work. That should be fun.
A short visit but productive sounds good.
ReplyDeleteThank you for not inviting me to your musical soiree.
Straight to work from a flight! Better you than me.
Nice to catch up with your loved ones and to sense that something of the mum you knew is still locked inside. Have a lovely day at work!
ReplyDeleteHappy return. So glad you got those quilts mailed and that the visit with your mother was so touching. (I’m rarely one for growly rock.)
ReplyDeleteGrowly rock is an interesting description. I'm glad you got Mom and family time. Safe travels.
ReplyDeleteGoing straight to work will be hard for you, I'm sure. Hope you can stay awake!
ReplyDeleteMusic involves a different part of the brain, so yes she probably does have some grasp there. I've played recorder for Alzheimer's patients, folk tunes, and some could sing along. Everyone responded in some way. It was so good to give them that time.
ReplyDeleteI'm very glad you went, and talked with her normally. She probably loved the sound of your voice.
I will be thinking of you going directly from an overnight flight to work. That is a lot!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got a visit in with your mother. Any moment that you can connect with her now is a good moment, I think.
We never know exactly what is getting through but sharing love and happy moments means a lot to both your Mom and you! She has a smiling, singing spirit shining through her dementia so that is a wonderful gift to you. Glad you enjoyed your visit and wishing you an easy day at work! :)
ReplyDeleteI've heard that music is one of the last memories to go. Maybe your mom has some left and I hope she is enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had a good visit. I would have been singing along too - we sang that hymn about every other Sunday when I was growing up.
ReplyDeleteHope work goes without a glitch & then you're able to get some good rest tonight!
That was a quick, but good visit with your mom and family. Have a safe journey home. Rest up on the plane so you'll be ready for work!
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a good visit with your mom. Music does seem to bring out memories. Also glad to hear that the post office came to the rescue. Those bands and videos are way after my time though I do remember the names Limp Bizkit and Eminem but couldn't tell you a single song they did.
ReplyDeleteSafe travels today. That was a short visit but it sounds productive in many ways. Flying all night and going to work when you get there should help reset your body clock.
ReplyDeleteWhirlwind trip! Brave to go straight to work! Will have a quick stop at home first?
ReplyDeleteI think music and prayers (if raised in a religious environment) are often the last things to fade away.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you got the quilts shipped!
I liked Alien Ant Farm's cover of Smooth Criminal (and like MJ's version, too).
God in three persons! Straight to work? You are a wonder! The story of your mother is very touching, the sweetness of a son , of life, makes my chest hurt. Glad the quilts will be sent for a relative good price. Treasures.
ReplyDeleteThat does sound like an excellent visit. Glad you had some good times with your mom and shared musical memories with your brother and niece. I know all those bands!
ReplyDeleteMusic is supposed to be a good way to connect with people who have dementia, some part of them remembers it when other memories have gone.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had a good visit and got the quilts mailed at a reasonable price. Do you have pictures of the quilts? Asking for a friend:)
God that you and your mother had some quality time; it's difficult watching them age and sort of lose themselves, so to have even a brief memory was lovely.
ReplyDeleteStraight to work from an overnight flight???? Oh dear. I always feel greasy and smelly and rumpled and... I would HAVE to have a shower first. And a large cup of coffee. Good luck to you. You're a better man than I am.
ReplyDeleteMichael Ignatieff's mother told him that it was like walking in and out of a cloud....and yes, music works.
ReplyDeleteGood to have family together.
Hope like the devil you are able to get some sleep in the cheap seats of that overnight flight. At the very least, bring ear plugs (if there isn't an amenity kit with them) for those inevitable Yakety Yakers. Safe travels and best of luck tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I could go straight from the airport to work. Hopefully you are someone who can sleep on a plane.
ReplyDeleteAndrew: Yes, it was good I made this trip, even though my mom is in better health now than when I planned it (fearing the worst).
ReplyDeleteYP: It really was good to just sit with her and talk about what we were seeing on the river and that kind of thing. Normal stuff. I think it helped give her a sense of normalcy.
Mitchell: I was never angry enough for that angst-ridden stuff. I was listening to the Carpenters.
E: It IS growly! :)
Colette: I've done it before, but not for many years. We'll see how it goes.
Boud: That makes sense! Someone told me yesterday (maybe it was you?) to try music with her. So it was lucky that the carillon cooperated!
Ms Moon: I think that's exactly true. I am pretty much always aware that every time I see her could very well be the last time.
Ellen D: I think as Boud said above, just the sound of my voice was probably enjoyable to her. (If I do say so myself.) We are so lucky she is so positive. Apparently she really cheers up everyone on her floor at the retirement center.
Peter: There are clearly some hymns still in there! She was a pretty faithful churchgoer all her life so I'm not surprised she remembers those.
Bug: It's a very popular hymn! I couldn't get past the first few lines, though.
Robin: It was quick but important.
Ellen: Yeah, the next time I disparage the post office I have to remember they saved me!
Sharon: Exactly! I would try to stay awake all day anyway, so why not be working?
Wilma: I don't think so! Not having hair, I can skip a shower in the morning if need be.
Kelly: That's exactly the song I played them! I only later learned it was a Michael Jackson song. I knew Alien Ant Farm's version first!
Linda Sue: Blessed trinity! :)
Margaret: That time period is about when I stopped keeping track of pop music.
Pixie: I blogged a picture of one of the quilts several years ago. When they arrive in London I'll take another.
Bob: It made a huge difference, certainly for me but hopefully it gave her a boost too.
Debby: Well, I will DEFINITELY have the coffee, but I will have to forego the shower, alas. I figure with the changing time zones it's not really a full day I will have gone unbathed by the time I arrive, so that makes it tolerable.
GZ: An interesting way to put it. I think my mom is mostly in the cloud, but she does seem to see glimmers of sun.
Mary: The overnight flights headed eastward are usually geared more toward sleeping than the day flights headed west, so hopefully, yes, I can get some shut-eye!
Ed: I can never sleep very much, but I can get through one workday on minimal sleep.
That is extreme punishment to be at work 2 hours after your flight arrives.
ReplyDeleteThat's good about your mom. What is it about music? People just remember it. Which, really, is a lovely thing. I'm so glad the quilts are on their way to London. Smart idea to ship them!
ReplyDeleteNice that your mum still finds her way through the fog now and again. It often happens when they hear or see something from the past that they've loved.
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