Sunday, March 15, 2026
Mothering Sunday
It's Mother's Day in the UK, or as it's often called, "Mothering Sunday." Even though I am not a mother in any way, shape or form, I celebrated by having a lie-in, sleeping until 7:30, which is pretty unheard of for me. I woke up at 6:30, glanced at the clock and thought, "You know, I'm just going to lie here for a few more seconds." And before I knew it, an hour was up.
I found the little paper cone above on Friday, on the sidewalk next to a bus stop and overground station. It was obviously someone's school project for Mother's Day, complete with a little daffodil. I debated what to do about it -- it had already been stepped on and given that the child in question was probably already on a bus or train I decided to pick it up and bring it home. I showed it to Dave and he said with his usual wry economy, "Some kid is bawling right now."
I wasn't sure whether the daffodil would open, given that it was a bit smushed, but it did...
So, kiddo, whoever you are, please know that your creation brought me happiness, even though I am not your mother. (I think I might take the paper part back and tape it up somewhere near the bus stop, on the off chance that the kid will pass by again and recognize it. Then they could at least bring that part back to Mom.)
This was yesterday's project -- spiffing up the front garden. See that bundle of sticks on the sidewalk in front? That's the dead bush that I removed. It was so dead that I pulled out the stump by hand. I chopped it all up and put it in a yard waste bag, and then planted a hydrangea in the dark middle of the garden and a buddleia where the dead bush used to be. And I pruned that big heather in front, which was largely dead inside and needed some spiffing up.
Here's the "after" shot. I hope that hydrangea isn't in too much darkness, there in the middle, but if it struggles I can trim things around it to bring in more light. They usually don't mind shade.
I had the last of the front porch squash for lunch, blending it into soup form. I was in a race against time to use it up, given that I had to abandon it in the fridge while I was in Florida, but it is now all gone.
Then I gave the grass its first haircut of the year! And I did some trimming to neaten things up in the garden, though there's still plenty more to be done. I have three full yard waste bags and that's the most the council will take per week, so any more work will have to wait.
Finally, I repotted two purple heart plants, combining them into a single pot. Do you remember how the windowsill in the library was overflowing with purple heart plants, all from cuttings from my big plant? Well, I brought several of them back home, in preparation for my retirement and because they were badly in need of new pots. I now have five pots here at home filled with purple heart -- not counting three still in the library, which will stay there after I leave. That stuff is a blessing and a curse! But you know how I am about cuttings. I have a terrible time throwing them away when I know I can root them so easily.
I also polished off two New Yorkers, and I was struck by this essay by a father whose son has transitioned to become his daughter. The dad is pretty much an ideal liberal parent, but he writes openly of his own perplexity at the changes in his daughter's life, including some unconventional relationships and a move overseas. I found it a sympathetic and realistic account of a parent navigating the lives and choices of grown children in today's complex world.






you deserved a rest after all that productive gardening!
ReplyDeleteRemember that buddleia are vigorous...but take ok to being pruned back hard.
Life is confusing..but at least some people try to understand at least a little
We have several other buddleias and yes, they are vigorous, but we keep them in check and the insects love them!
DeleteThe front garden looks good with its neatened bushes. Spring is already on its way when people get out into the garden. I read most of the essay and found it an excellent read in explaining something I know little off.
ReplyDeleteYes, I thought the same thing -- an interesting window into modern parenthood!
DeleteYour garden will look wonderful in a month or so when the new plants are in flower. Looking forward to seeing the photos then.
ReplyDeleteI will definitely pass them along!
DeleteI love it when I have that extra bit of sleep after waking early.
ReplyDeleteYour garden waste council green waste sounds good.
Parents having 'different' children who handle it well are to be admired
Our green waste collection is pretty good, but we have to pay extra for it and they are sticklers about how much they'll take.
DeleteI was in the post office once beyond a dad and his daughter. They were getting a new passport for her b/c she had transitioned. He was so thoughtful in his way he was talking to the clerk at the desk, I've never forgotten it. She was very lucky to have such a dad.
ReplyDeleteI am always so thankful that parents like him exist.
DeleteWe've all seen, even in minor ways, the way our parents handled our own coming out, so I imagine having a transgender child takes so much more understanding of what that means and how everyone accepts and understands the changes.
ReplyDeleteI suppose coming out as transgender is the modern equivalent of what we went through, 30 or 40 years ago, coming out as gay -- they're roughly equivalent experiences in terms of challenging the social order and parental expectations.
DeleteI have a former co-worker whose oldest child is trans, Mom has taken it well but struggles a bit with pronouns, Dad is still in denial. I am hoping the young person find happiness in life.
ReplyDeleteI hope so too. So much depends on where they live and the people who surround them.
DeleteStrangely enough, as far behind with my NY'ers as I am (months and months), I have read that article. Did I read it online? Anyway, yes, I thought it was well-written too. The author definitely has had different experiences with his daughter than I have had with my son but it is a familiar journey to all of us, I think, who come to realize that our child is not exactly who we thought they were. And yet, yes they are.
ReplyDeleteI thought of you when I read it and wondered if you had too!
DeleteI am glad you rescued that daffodil. How beautifully it opened up, even after being trod upon and crushed. Please let that imagery be a metaphor for our wartorn, bullied world.
ReplyDeleteYes, I would happily embrace that metaphor!
DeleteThat daffodil and its little packet was so dear. I'm glad the daff has a home. It's quite lovely. If it's any hope, my hydrangea s on the north side of the house and my neighbor's garden/trees and my own house provide plenty of shade, so hopefully you'll be OK. (Mine is an Annabelle, if that matters in hydrangea light world.) The yard looks terrific! I have a friend whose grandchild (now only 8) will be most likely to transition when older. Meanwhile, it will be a very hard time for him as he grows up.
ReplyDeleteOK, good to know! This one is not an Annabelle but we have other hydrangeas growing in pretty heavy shade and they seem to do fine.
DeleteI struggled with the 'requirement' to encourage children to make Mother's day (Mothering Sunday) cards and even worse, cards for Father's day. They are commercialised, cynical ways to make money. Those who have no children, maybe because they have been unable to conceive, or whose children/mothers have died or are estranged or desperately compromised by injury or ill-health, are reminded at every turn that there are cards, flowers, chocolates, special meals available. It must be so hard. Sorry to rant . . .
ReplyDeleteIt's true -- we don't always remember that not everyone has a living mother or father in their lives.
DeleteBusy day. Though the front corner of the front garden looks a little weedy. You left it so it must be something. And the daffodil is a double! The son/daughter is fortunate to have an accepting parent.
ReplyDeleteThe grass-like plants are Crocosmia, which (unlike Ms. Moon's) were planted intentionally and which we encourage. There's also some Oxalis, which is pretty when it blooms, and some Valerian by the steps. We want it all!
DeleteHappy Mother's Day. You may not be a mother but I'd say you have many of the positive attributes needed. That's such a pretty creation you found on the street. It's kind of sad that it got left behind. So it's a good thing it made it to a safe place. Good job on the front garden.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is sad. I feel bad for the kid who made it!
DeleteMaybe you have already explained this but what is the 'H" block for on the front of your home? I tried to search for it on your Blog but was taken to an H & R Block post. ;)
ReplyDeleteYour work on the front looks good and it's nice that you can do what you want and not have to worry about your Russian neighbor's opinion anymore. Your grass is sure green in the back yard!
I think the H plaque has something to do with gas lines. Many houses have them. (If not all!)
DeleteYou got a lot done! No wonder you were tired and had an extra hour of sleep.
ReplyDeleteWhen my sister and I were little, our Mum never wanted us to do or make anything special for Mother‘s Day (she still does not observe it in any way). She always said that we either loved her and showed our appreciation all year or not at all. We regularly had arguments in kindergarden and elementary school when we insisted we weren‘t doing this or that crafting/painting etc. for Mother‘s Day because our Mum would‘t want it. Some teachers only believed us after our Mum confirmed her view of that day to them.
It's interesting that your mom took that position. I wonder if she was trying to make things easier on you, or resisting the "Hallmark holiday" approach to appreciating our loved ones?
DeleteWow, you did an incredible job on the yardwork! I need to mow again but it's too early for annuals, so I'll wait (impatiently) for my tulips to bloom. I love hydrangeas! No matter how liberal, accepting and loving a person is, the transition of a child would be a difficult adjustment.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Even as a gay person, I find it hard to imagine what it would be like to have a child transition. I guess that's why I found the article so interesting.
DeleteYour work in the garden is very well done. The front looks good all trimmed back, giving each shrub some space. Trimming things back and removing dead wood is an ongoing task. The cut grass looks beautiful and it greened-up nicely after the Winter.
ReplyDeleteA friend has a daughter in transition in CO. Due to lack of full health insurance coverage, they set-up a go-fund-me account to fully cover costs. Thankfully, everyone (except the insurance co.) is supportive and funds have been raised.
I'm glad your friend's daughter has such support. So many people don't!
DeleteYour front garden looks great, quite the transformation, thanks for the piece from the New Yorker, quite enlightening.
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome! And thanks for the compliment on the front garden.
DeleteI love that you rescued the daffodil. I told Mike about your plan to take the paper cone back & tape it up & said that this is an example of who you are as a person :)
ReplyDeleteA lunatic?! LOL!
DeleteI hate the thought of a bawling child once they realized they'd lost their gift. My emotions seem to be all over the place these days and often irrational.
ReplyDeleteI've always tried to be supporting and encouraging to others, even if I don't always understand. Hell, I don't even understand myself a lot of the time.
I agree about the child. I felt bad for her or him.
DeleteThe way I see it, I don't need to understand why people want to live their lives the way they do -- I just need to support and be kind to them! But understanding is always helpful and I do appreciate opportunities -- like the article -- to get that window into other experiences.
So sad about that poor kid and his daffodil. Of course you revived it. I love your idea of taping the “vase” to the wall. You are so kind. I’d like to be more like you when I grow up. All your gardening makes me smile. Good Mr. and Mrs. Russian are gone. What a mess they made of things.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy they're gone! I live in fear they will eventually come back!
DeleteWhen I retired I had 42 plants in my classroom. Teachers and students took them. I also had a closet full of old newspapers. I hated to throw them out but they had to go.
ReplyDeleteYou just can't keep everything, can you?
DeleteI used to plant cuttings from things I knew would grow well, but these days I trim and throw away, there just isn't room in my small patch and with allergies I can't have indoor plants that aren't plastic.
ReplyDeleteAt some point you have to bite the bullet and just discard plants and trimmings. I'm very bad at it but I'm trying to be more merciless.
DeleteInteresting article. One of my good friends is trans, but she to he. It's been a rough road with his parents. His father still refers to him as his "daughter." It's a scary situation now for him in the States. Will we get past this hate?
ReplyDeleteI certainly hope so. It's horrible that our government foments this terror against people of many minority communities -- not just trans people but Hispanics, immigrants, etc.
Delete