Thursday, September 12, 2013
Feelings, Whoa Whoa Whoa Feelings
Every day I come here and write about what's happening in my life, the things I notice and do, but I feel kind of guilty for not getting more into nitty-gritty personal stuff. Like what I'm feeling. (You might all be rolling your eyes right now, thinking "Oh no, don't go there," but don't worry -- this post isn't going to be any more revealing than usual.)
I guess I don't dwell on feelings or even really think about them much. My stepsister once commented that I always seem upbeat, and it's true that I've been blessed with good brain chemistry. I'm not one to ruminate on problems or dissatisfaction. I have my cranky moments, but in the greater scope of things my problems (so far) are few, and any dissatisfaction I feel is usually transient. So is any joy, for that matter. Am I superficial? I don't know -- maybe. But if I am, it keeps me sane and happy.
I have felt a certain amount of nervousness starting this new job, and I've written some about that, but it seems to be going well and every day I feel more comfortable. As I get to know the kids, their names, which ones talk loudly and which ones are bookworms, I feel more and more like I belong. There's really no dissatisfaction associated with the job so far. One of the best parts is waking up and having a reason to shower, shave and get dressed in my long-dormant work clothes! I love being able to wear my dressy pants and shirts again, instead of schlumping around the house in an old faded t-shirt.
I've been dreaming about books -- shelving them, organizing them, stamping them. Last night I dreamed about putting books on hold for someone. I dream about the slippery feeling of plastic-sheathed library books, one against the other. It's kind of crazy. Yesterday I asked people at work if they dream about books, and to my surprise they said no! Maybe my brain chemistry isn't so good after all?
Speaking of books, I finished Reza Aslan's book about Jesus, "Zealot." The first half was better than the second half. In the end, it's virtually impossible to write a historical biography of Jesus, because so little of the history of his life is really known. Aslan's book is really more about the formation of the Christian church and the interaction of the political players and, on a more micro level, the followers of Jesus. I think Aslan did a good job with the material he could gather -- "Zealot" is readable, respectful and factual -- and do I even need to say that I reject the ridiculous assertion that it's somehow inappropriate for a Muslim to write about Christianity? (Thank you, Fox News.)
(Photo: The underside of a railway overpass in Camden, London. The title of this post, in case you haven't figured it out, is an allusion to this really terrible song.)