Tuesday, December 2, 2025

The Red Ribbon


Here's the scene at the cafe on the corner. Very Christmasy! I really should go out after work and take some pictures of holiday lights. That's perhaps the one good thing about darkness falling at 4:30 p.m. -- we have lots of time in the evening to enjoy light displays!

Yesterday was World AIDS Day, despite the refusal of the Trump Administration to recognize it. I've written before about AIDS and the impact it had on my life as a young gay man. Men of my generation, even if we didn't catch the virus, were indelibly scarred by it. (Men just a couple of years older bore the brunt of the plague, with huge numbers of them dying young.) So yesterday...


...I wore my red ribbon on my lanyard at work, as I always do on December 1. I wonder if the kids even know what it means. I did hear one student talking to the head librarian about a project she's doing on HIV and AIDS, so there is still awareness out there, for which I'm thankful.

Last night I re-read the Barbara Kingsolver essay about the Canary Islands that I saved many years ago, from her book "High Tide in Tucson." It was much as I remembered it -- a very evocative depiction of the landscape and the flora and fauna. But she didn't mention those spiny cacti once, and that was my clearest memory of the whole piece! She focused on the moister, more fog-bound environment of the laurel forests on La Gomera. Funny how the brain deceives. (I have since learned those "cacti" are actually a type of Euphorbia, and thus not cacti at all.)

62 comments:

  1. I applaud your wearing of the red ribbon but not that shirt! Yesterday, on Radio 4, I heard the story of a woman who contracted HIV/AIDS through sexual contact when she was at university and just 21 years old. I was impressed by how she seems to be coping with her situation - loud and proud and grateful for life saving medication that of course was not around in the early eighties.

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    1. I actually bought that shirt for Dave but he never really took to it, so I reclaimed it.

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  2. My sister and I have lost several friends to AIDS, the youngest was 32 when he died, and we'd been close friends since our teens. Some of our friends have been living with the disease for decades now; so much progress has been made with medication in that area. One died of COVID three years ago; he would have turned 60 last year. Another one is in his early sixties now and his health is better than it was ten years or so ago.
    It is good to know that students still learn about this important subject.

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    1. They do, but it's also troubling that the disease's overall profile has diminished in the Western world, where treatments are readily available. After all, it's still fatal to many people in the developing world.

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  3. Numbers are climbing again eventhough there's less testing. Africa is particularly affected.
    Like Christmas lights look forward to those pics.

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    1. Younger people are more willing to take risks nowadays, knowing that treatment is available.

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  4. I regularly refer to euphorbias as cacti. And I’m regularly corrected. As far as I’m concerned, you can call them whatever you want. The image is the same. And we (at least I) know exactly what you’re talking about.

    I’m enough older than you to have been in my late 20s when the AIDS crisis hit and Ronald Reagan wouldn’t even say the word. Lost some wonderful friends and watched cities get decimated. I don’t know how or why SG and I survived it. So glad people now have the potential to live good, healthy, long lives despite the diagnosis.

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    1. I am sure you guys saw some of the horrors first-hand, living in the big city when you did.

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  5. That is a very festive café. I like to see all the light displays that are now appearing everywhere here, but my goodness, some are really over the top tacky!

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    1. Ha! I'm all about a more minimalist approach, generally.

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  6. That was such a hard time, early 1980s, especially in catholic Ireland. When in 1987, the first Irish celebrity, Vincent Hanley aka Fab Vinny (at the time a very popular tv presenter and host at MTV USA) died of AIDS, the country went into full denial just as it had been when first rumours of Fab Vinny being gay started to circulate - homosexuality was illegal in Ireland until 1993. A small local group of gay rights activists who later set up the first AIDS helpline went to his funeral, together with hundreds of fans, but the family refused them entry to the service.

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    1. I don't remember Fab Vinny or that particular case, but I remember many similar stories from both celebrities and everyday individuals.

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  7. I remember the fear then, particularly before anyone understood how AIDS was transmitted. I knew men who died that I didn't know were gay, so carefully concealed at work. There was such prejudice and fear together, one fuelling the other. I'm so thankful for the friends who survived.

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    1. I remember my dad talking to me about how no one knew what transmitted AIDS, and how even sharing a glass or kiss might be dangerous. It's true that in the early years all that was still a mystery.

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  8. I am I guess considered an older adult these days and I had no idea that it was World Aids Day. Though not gay, it made an impact on my life and I knew people who died from it.

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    1. World AIDS Day used to get a lot more attention than it seems to now.

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  9. I graduated as a nurse in 1986, just as AIDS was roaring through Alberta. I worked on a pulmonary unit and we got so many men with AIDS, it was heartbreaking. I still remember some of the young men, all long dead now.

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    1. I'm sure you saw a lot of HIV-positive patients with AIDS-related pneumonias.

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  10. We have one very close friend who is gay and those were horrible times. He's still with us but many of his friends died. The refusal to recognise it and deal with it because it affected only gay men predominately was, you know, justified because of that. God's punishment and all. Despicable.

    The only thing I enjoy about the lead up to actual christmas day is all the outdoor lights.

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    1. They WERE horrible times. I remember how pervasive that fear was.

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  11. I've seen a few London Christmas lights pictured on different Instagram accounts. It does look like the city is dressed up in its holiday attire.
    I knew someone who died from complications of AIDS back some 25 years ago now. He was the partner of someone I worked with in Chicago. This administration is hell bent on killing us all.

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    1. It's true! The Trump administration is equal-opportunity when it comes to causing death and misery!

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  12. I think all of us who are old enough, had a friend or a loved one who died of AIDS but most of us cannot imagine losing our entire community, our extended family of choice. The grief and the pain and the suffering and the courage should never be forgotten. That's what I think, anyway.

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    1. I can't imagine it either, having lived in a time and place where I didn't have to withstand that agony. By the time I came of age and became involved in the gay community, knowledge of AIDS was much better and all of my good friends (as far as I know) are still alive.

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  13. Even though what tRump does on a daily basis astounds me, I cannot for the life of me believe that the administration refused to recognize it. It is depressing. On a different note, your photos from Tenerife were amazing!

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    1. It's just mean-spirited, you know? What harm could there possibly be in recognizing World AIDS Day?

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  14. Good on you for recognizing World AIDS Day!
    I wore my red ribbon, and made sure that people knew about the Cankles' decision to no longer recognize the day!

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  15. I remember the horrible discrimination surrounding the AIDS epidemic back in the day and wonder how many didn't have to die if help and research had been allowed back then.

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    1. Yeah, you gotta wonder if things would have been different had the government more vigorously embraced the cause.

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  16. Your murmuration shirt is stunning! I had forgotten Aids day, glad i did, I lost so many friends back then. Breaks my heart with every thought. Terrifying times.

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    1. Terrifying, absolutely. It's easy to forget how scary all that was.

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  17. Well done you for wearing your ribbon and badges. World AIDS Day is an important day to remember. It was a scary time for so many people.

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    1. I hope people remember that the casualties were not just people who died from the disease -- that many more were infected but have survived, and countless others were affected socially and psychologically. (I count myself in that latter group!)

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  18. One of my close friends from church died of AIDS. His dad was our minister and his parents never admitted that he died of AIDS or even that he was gay. He was smart, funny and deserved so much more than to be erased.

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    1. It's amazing how closed-off some families were to gay relatives back then. I think it's better now, even in more conservative areas, but still far from ideal.

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  19. I have a friend from Ohio who has been living with AIDs for many years - he takes many medications and is so gaunt, but still kicking. And I have a high school classmate that I'm pretty sure died of AIDs in California in the 80s. So sad - he was such a fun guy.

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    1. Interesting. I knew a few friends-of-friends who died but no one close to me, amazingly, and no one from my high school class as far as I know.

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  20. I like your shirt, the cafe looks festive. Nobody discusses aids any longer but I remember in my younger days working in gay nightclubs that it was something every young man feared. Im glad the fear has gone and medication is available.

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    1. Guys today really are SO lucky to be able to lead relatively normal lives, with pre-exposure prophylaxis and effective treatments.

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  21. AIDS really hit the consciousness of a nation here in NZ when a girl, born infected, died in childhood. She had lived a very public life, raised awareness so effectively and was widely mourned.

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    1. There were several cases like that in the USA -- Ryan White, of course, and Kimberly Bergalis. Gay activists were often bitter (rightly so) that those widely-mourned patients were not gay and were so-called "innocent victims."

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  22. I love the Christmas light display in this post. Blue lights on the tree are brilliant.
    Aids in the 80's was terrifying. So many lives were lost. Thankfully medical science has lifesaving medications today and aids is no longer the killer it once was.
    Remembering World Aids Day is important.

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    1. I agree -- it's important to remind people that AIDS is still out there and still affecting lives, even if not killing as many people as it once did.

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  23. Dig That Corner Cafe For Sure - And Just Check Out That Shirt There Mr Reed - Like WoW

    Stay Groovy ,
    Cheers

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  24. That café is a very festive... lovely.

    All the best Jan

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    1. They're on a prominent corner so the decorations give a boost to the neighborhood!

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  25. I remember the horrors of AIDS quite well. I have/had a number of gay friends and knew several people who died from it. There was a woman in my church at the time whose son died of it and she started a non-profit in his memory that is still going strong all these years later! Btw... are those little swallows on your shirt?

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    1. Wow, impressive that woman started an organization that is still going strong! Yes, they are swallows.

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  26. The cafe looks great! I'd love to see more decorations in London so I hope you take lots of photos. You know how I feel about the orange felon. He has no compassion for anyone who suffers.

    Love,
    Janie

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  27. Good for you with the red ribbon. I love your corner cafe.

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  28. A gorgeous opening photo. I love the lights. I lost many friends to AIDS a number of years ago. I'm so mad that DT does not choose to recognize this day of memory and awareness.

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    1. And it's such a cheap shot. Donald Trump himself surely knows a lot of people who died from AIDS, including his equally mean-spirited attorney Roy Cohn.

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  29. I had forgotten there even was an AIDS Day!

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    1. It has receded from the public consciousness in many ways.

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  30. I too forgot about world AIDS Day. It was pretty damn horrible, especially seeing a friend develop dementia at about the age of 30 and abusing those who were helping him. Now I see it was not good for our mental health which is why we stopped seeing him towards the end. The initial feeling was similar to that of when Covid arrived, a great fear of the unknown. This ad terrified people but was it effective? Maybe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSmaWEK_rD4

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    1. OMG! I have never seen that ad. That was really dark. I can see how people would have found that hard to take but it really drove home the point!

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