Hampstead Heath has a lot of interesting old trees, and this is one of my favorites. Talk about scars, lumps and bumps! The area around it is fenced off to prevent root compaction, according to a nearby sign, which calls it a "veteran tree" but doesn't say how old it is. I'd love to know.
When I logged in to Blogger just now I got a message saying that the "follow by e-mail" widget will no longer work after July. So if you've signed up to get my blog posts via e-mail, I'm sorry to say that's apparently going to stop. Technology! I'll have to look into whether I can migrate my e-mail subscriber list to another similar service, but meanwhile, if you want to keep up with my pathetic life, you might have to bookmark my blog and visit it that way.
I had a doctor's appointment a couple of days ago to follow up on my blood tests, which were all fine except, of course, my cholesterol levels. This is a perpetual problem with me, as it is with my mother. It's a genetic thing. The good news is, we have no heart disease in the family. I was afraid the doctor was going to try to talk me into taking statins, but she said because I have a healthy BMI and no family history of heart problems she's not worried. She poked and prodded me and said otherwise I appear to be in good shape.
Oh -- I have to fill you in on the saga of the shopping bag! Dave and I have two identical re-usable grocery bags, which I bought several years ago at the British Museum. We love them because they're big and durable, but the other day, right after a shopping trip, one of them mysteriously disappeared. We looked everywhere, and I mean everywhere, and we couldn't find it. I finally decided it had to be in one of two places -- in the bag with our bedsheets at the laundromat, or in the trash, which I had recently taken out to the bin at the street.
So yesterday morning I went out to the bin, pulled the trash bag out, opened it up and began to wade through. And sure enough, there was our shopping bag.
A bit rumpled, but otherwise none the worse for wear.
Dave and I cannot figure out how this happened, exactly, but at least we got the bag back.
You may remember that several years ago I worked on a project to edit and digitize my old paper journals. I did this because I wrote many of them at times of desperation or unhappiness, and a lot of that stuff isn't really for public consumption. I didn't want to drop dead and have someone read them all or, God forbid, sell them in an estate sale.
So I transcribed the good stuff, skipped the repetitive drama and angst (hopefully preserving enough drama to present an accurate record), and put it all online. (It's a private blog for now but one of these days I might open it up, not that anyone except me would ever want to read it.)
The other day, as you can see, I finally got around to doing some shredding. I disposed of the first three old journals, from the late 1980s and early '90s, which contained some of the more embarrassing content. (Is there anything more cringe-inducing than a lovelorn 22-year-old?!) I'll eventually shred the rest, with the possible exception of my Peace Corps journals. (And my childhood journals from the late '70s and early '80s, which are perfectly innocent, if incredibly goofy. If I destroyed those my brother would kill me.)
This is the problem with journaling. It's a great way to work out problems and record events, but then you're left with physical artifacts that you don't necessarily want to leave behind for the world to consume!
I'm so glad the queen has been recovered. That's quite a hangover. I tried journaling at times, never as a child, and never for long. I'd probably be embarrassed had I saved any of it. That's a great accomplishment for you.
ReplyDeleteIf you mean the journaling is an accomplishment, I think it's probably more just a harmless bit of obsessive behavior -- but hey, whatever works!
DeleteI was talking more about the transcription and shredding, but as I consider it, I'd call journaling throughout your life an accomplishment, as well! Then again, I'm not one to shy away from obsessive behavior.
DeleteThere's a whole lot of writing there Steve. Do you think it's safer digital? I'm always dubious of leaving all my stuff digital. Love that floor.
ReplyDeleteBriony
x
I think it's safe there for the time being, where I can access it and search it. (The searchability is a HUGE advantage when I want to look something up.) Will it endure forever? Probably not, but then, what does?
DeleteI think in the mid 20th century there was a contender here a couple of hours away from home for the tallest tree in the world. It wasn't but it was over 100 metres tall. They know its exact length as they chopped it down to measure it. I suggest the tree in the Heath be cut down and its rings counted to determine its age. No?
ReplyDeleteSadly I felt obliged to shred my mother's letters. She is still a prolific letter writer and I didn't want too destroy such history but she mentioned members of the family not with malice but honestly if someone disappointed her or she felt frustration with them. And really, I don't know that anyone would ever wade through them.
Re. the tree -- talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face, or however that old saying goes!
DeleteI have a bunch of old letters too and I never, ever read them. I suppose I should shred those as well.
"My pathetic life"? No it is not Steve. Being a veteran reader of "Shadows and Light" I would say that your life is one of pleasantness, observation, honesty and intelligent reflection. With a lifetime of writing behind you, isn't it time that you set about constructing a novel? Far less qualified people than you have successfully published novels and I believe that if you set your mind to it you could make a really good one. It's time.
ReplyDeleteI think being a competent writer and being a novelist are, sadly, two entirely different things. I've only ever been good at writing about day-to-day events. (Hence my news reporting career.) My brain just cannot wrap itself around something as big and complex as a novel. I've tried writing fiction in the past and believe me, you don't want me to go there.
DeleteYou lost the Queen, temporarily? To think that I must have dropped my Hawkwind and Fire rare imprint cotton shopper down some aisle 23 never to be traced is the true shocker. Don't tell the Angel who entrusted me with it. It was beeping vintage. Still, why sell something on ebay if you can just lose it.
ReplyDeleteRe your journals. Kafka made his best friend and executor of his will, Max Brod, promise him all unpublished work to be destroyed. Well, what are promises for if not to be broken. By some. That's why people should steer clear of the altar. I only forgive Brod for the unforgiveable because his judgment was sound. And, anyway, Kafka, on account of being dead, won't know about it.
I have never kept journals as such. If something, as you hint at, plagues me, yes, I will write it down if only to clarify my thoughts but then it goes straight into the shredder.
As happenstance will have it I have been going over some correspondence from friends and family the last couple of weeks or so. Correspondence starting with when I moved out of my parents' home, even more later when I moved abroad. It was quite an education. Hindsight and all that. Rereading your journals, Steve, maybe giving you a perspective you didn't have in the moment; that's what happened to me reading some of those old letters, chroniclers. I am too young still to shred what is dear to me; and if I am struck down before my time no doubt the Angel will know how to operate said shredder. Might come in useful as cat litter. By which I mean to say that we shouldn't take any individual existence, particularly our own, too seriously.
U
Sorry that last sentence reads all wrong. Correction: "By which I mean to say that we shouldn't take written evidence as witness of an individual existence, particularly our own, too seriously."
DeleteU
Not just lost, but TRASHED! The ultimate indignity. I apologize unreservedly to HM.
DeleteShredded journals would make ideal cat litter. Unfortunately I do not have a cat. I suppose I could donate them to a cat person, but then I'd have to worry about that person piecing together the shredded pages!
You might find this a good solution for your journals instead of shredding them:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/stephen-fry-backs-cambridge-authors-12644849
That's awesome, and I would definitely donate mine, if they weren't so freakin' embarrassing that I wouldn't want ANYONE to read them ever in the future. (I read Alexander Masters' "A Life Discarded" and it was riveting. In fact I think I wrote about it here on the blog.)
DeleteDefinitely not pathetic! First blog I read every day. And yes, long since bookmarked. Loved that old tree! And glad you found the Queen in the rubbish.
ReplyDeleteThe first one?! Wow! I'm honored. I surely do not deserve that kind of attention. Olga does, however.
DeleteThat tree is fantastic. I, too, would love to know its age.
ReplyDeleteThe minute I saw that crinkled grocery bag, the English voice in my head said, "We are not amused."
Ha! She was DEFINITELY not amused at being stowed away with our dirty paper towels and food wrappers. She never took her jewels off, though.
DeleteYou've reminded me that I need to do something about my journals...
ReplyDeleteIt can be a nagging worry when you've got personal stuff like that sitting around. I mean, it wouldn't be a DISASTER if anyone read them. I just wouldn't prefer it. I like having them online now, cleaned up and searchable. Makes referring back to them much easier.
DeleteI think it's time for me to simply burn all of my journals without even taking a look inside. Why bother? That's the way I feel about it at the moment, anyway. Perhaps it will feel freeing.
ReplyDeleteI don't identify with a lot of the introspective stuff I wrote back then. It's like reading something written by another person! So yeah, as you said, why bother. However, I do want to keep stories and recollections about people, places, trips etc that I might otherwise forget.
DeleteSo I am not the only one working through decades of old journals! I call it "curating." For exactly the same reasons as you've been doing. There is plenty worth being reminded of; plenty of perspective to be gained; and much worth shredding or otherwise throwing into the recycling. I've been doing this for several years and have yet a long way to go. The year of my mother's dying is one I have been avoiding as too painful to bring to mind again, even after 16 years. Mostly I do enjoy the slices of life I wrote down about my two sons as they were growing up; things they said and did. Also things I wrote down about my older relatives; what they said and did, and what they told me about things they remembered or were told by their older relatives. I've done this mostly on my lakeside retreats in summer when I spend a couple days alone, reading, and in the early mornings start a nice little fire in the pit outside and burn the books. I save bits and bobs and don't know yet what I'll do with them. There are also pictures and letters tucked in; I often return them to the person they came from so that they too can be reminded, as not everyone journals. Each time I get through one, it feels like a lightening of some sort of load; the weight of the past, perhaps. -Kate
ReplyDeleteI wish burning were an option for me. It's amazing how long it takes to go through all this stuff! I have a big stack of old letters, too, and I should probably just shred all those as well. I never re-read them.
DeleteI have been keeping journals since 1991 (and some earlier stuff from the 1970s). I have asked Roger if he would please burn them if I unexpectedly die before he does. He has agreed to do so. But as I read your post I began to wonder if I should just strike a match to them myself. Maybe I will...
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have control over it and KNOW it's been done. But obviously, don't burn anything you might want to refer back to at some point. In my case I've extracted and preserved all the stuff I found of value.
DeleteI'm glad the Queen was rescued from the trash. I love that tree! I wonder how it got all those bumps and ripples.
ReplyDeleteWhat a job for you to go through all those old journals.
That tree is a mystery. I don't know how a tree gets scars like that without dying.
DeleteYou are getting old if you're absent mindedly throwing good things in the trash
ReplyDeleteHa! I blame Dave. I'm sure he blames me. :)
DeleteAlso- I use the Feedly app for notification of new blog posts. Works well.
ReplyDeleteOK, good to know!
DeleteI've journaled off and on since I was twelve, and they're all locked away in a safe. Often they were a means for me to vent. That's why I've instructed my younger daughter to dispose of them after my death. Problem is, she trained as an historian and might have trouble making herself destroy potential "primary sources". I've told her nothing would be interesting enough to reference, but she said journals are good examples of everyday life.
ReplyDeleteOh my. A historian is definitely conditioned to preserve! You might want to take charge of that situation yourself!
DeleteI got that message on my blog too, and now I'll have to read up on it to find out what to do next. That's quite a lovely bag. I'm so glad you found it. Enjoy your day, hugs, Edna B.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's really up to readers to figure out how to find us when the e-mail option is turned off. I'd like to make it easier on them but I think they just need to bookmark the blog.
DeleteYou're a great example of the problem historians of the future face. In the past people kept letters journals, and etc. and the historians had a view into their time. What will future historians use? Twitter? I feel badly for them.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I assume they'll use our digital records, which hopefully will be available!
DeleteGood for you for doing that with your journals. It sounds like a LOT of work. You are much younger than I, but it's great to have decent numbers at any age. A hearty no on the statins from me as well. They can be more dangerous than high cholesterol.
ReplyDeleteYeah, my theory on pharmaceuticals is to avoid them at all costs unless I really, REALLY need them!
DeleteThat tree is ...everything!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing?!
DeleteI'm not a journaler. I've tried periodically, but it was all very cringey & nothing I would want to recall later.
ReplyDeleteI got an email about "feedburner" - is that what you're talking about? Here is what the email said: FeedBurner has been a part of Google for almost 14 years, and we're making several upcoming changes to support the product's next chapter. Here’s what you can expect to change and what you can do now to ensure you’re prepared.
Starting in July, we are transitioning FeedBurner onto a more stable, modern infrastructure. This will keep the product up and running for all users, but it also means that we will be turning down most non-core feed management features, including email subscriptions, at that time.
For those who use FeedBurner email subscriptions, we recommend downloading your email subscribers so that you can migrate to a new email subscription service.
For many users, no action is required. All existing feeds will continue to serve uninterrupted, and you can continue to create new accounts and burn new feeds. Core feed management functionality will continue to be supported, such as the ability to change the URL, source feed, title, and podcast metadata of your feed, along with basic analytics.
This is the link they provided for downloading your subscribers: https://support.google.com/feedburner/answer/10391356?hl=en
DeleteYeah, that's what I'm talking about. I got that e-mail too. I'm just not sure what "new e-mail subscription service" to migrate my readers to. Do they even WANT to be migrated?!
DeleteI went through a couple of years of mine (journals) awhile back and was amazed how the same things kept coming up. I disposed of most of them. Ah, Throwback Thursday, eh?
ReplyDeleteI think journals serve an immediate purpose for some people to help them process and vent, but yeah, I'm not sure a lot of that venting is of any future use!
DeleteGood post title! You really had me wondering.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone would read your journals if you put them in the trash or recycling bins - no offense ;) It is a lot of work to shred them and I really think you don't need to bother. Rip off the metal spines and mess the pages together - who would ever take the time to try to sort it all again.
You have been a busy writer all these years!
Love the tree photo!
I'm sure you're right, but you'd be surprised. Alexander Masters (who someone referenced in a comment above) wrote a whole book about a bale of diaries he found in a rubbish bin. I would be MORTIFIED if someone wrote a book based on the raw, emotional babbling in my journals! Just to be thorough, I'm shredding. :)
DeleteThat tree is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with YP's assessment of your blog.
"of your life", I mean.
DeleteI agree with YOU that writing well does not equate to being able to write a novel. Or even a short story!
Yeah, some people (like me) are just more "journalistic" writers. I don't have the creativity or insight into human nature required to come up with an elaborate fictional plot.
DeleteNor do I :)
DeleteAs if Her Highness has not dealt with enough garbage this year.
ReplyDeleteThat tree is very cool. Want kind is it?
I think it's an oak, but I'm not certain. I'll have to take a closer look at the leaves the next time I walk by!
DeleteYour Majesty, Steve did not mean to discard you. The tree is interesting. At first glance I thought someone had used it to create a work of art. About the email--you could always just create a follower button.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
You mean follow through Google? Does that still work? I'll look into it!
DeleteI have one. I think that's how you follow me.
Deleteand believe me, they would end up in an estate sale.
ReplyDeleteand if you figure out what where and how to migrate the follow by email to another service I hope you will let us all know because I use that too.
DeleteIn this part of the world, blogger has not told me anything about upcoming changes. So what.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time when I got an email every time someone commented on my blog, and that stopped a long time ago. Just. Like. That.
I use feedly.com where I enter all the blogs I follow and I just go there and read.