Tuesday, July 25, 2023
Lionfish
Yesterday I mentioned a deluge of paperwork related to my mom's death, but actually it was a very short deluge. Once everything's been decided with the funeral home and the death certificates have been applied for, and the financial paperwork organized, then everything slows down. That doesn't mean there's not TONS more to do, but we have to do it according to the schedules of the professionals -- my mom's financial advisers, attorneys, that kind of thing.
So, long story short, we've done a lot of what we can do in the immediate sense. We're talking to the financial advisers later today but this is going to be a long, slow unspooling. Which I promise I will not write about every step of the way, unless I'm desperate and the only other option is to write about nematodes or the chemical properties of drying paint.
Yesterday we drove up to my brother's office to print out some documents and then went to get coffee. I took this photo (above) around the corner from the coffee shop. I've been there a million times but I'd never noticed this old cleaners' -- and then I realized that the stucco facade had basically fallen off the building, revealing that lettering beneath.
We stopped by an art gallery to make some contacts regarding some paintings that belonged to my grandparents. I don't know that we're going to sell them, but we at least want to know how much they're worth. Hopefully that information is forthcoming.
In the afternoon we did some minor tasks at home, when we weren't bedeviled by my brother's high-intensity dog, Snoop. That's Snoop above in his favorite place of retreat, beneath a hassock in the living room. He's really too big to fit under there but somehow he manages. When he's not powered down, he's thrusting his Kong toy in our faces and growling, in a constant effort to get us to play. It's kind of exhausting, and slightly threatening, but he's only two years old and still has lots of puppy energy.
We also watched "St. Elmo's Fire." My older niece, Jane, was troubled by the storyline involving Emilio Estevez and Andie MacDowell. He does basically stalk her, although back then it all seemed pretty harmless. The "me too" era has rightly heightened all our sensibilities.
We went to dinner last night at a restaurant on Julington Creek that I love, despite the fact that it's always insanely noisy. This was my meal, and it was a first for me -- lionfish. It's an aquarium fish from Southeast Asia with long, feathery fins that somehow escaped into the waterways around Florida and has become an invasive species. The hope is that by creating a commercial market for it, we can help control its numbers. So when I heard it was on the menu I was eager to try it.
The verdict: quite good! It's white and mild and not particularly bony. I'd order it again.
Someone decided that we each had to draw a picture of a watermelon. I went for the fractional option and didn't try very hard. My youngest niece, Kate, drew one that looks a lot like my lionfish.
And finally, this is where I spent last night. Remember how I'd originally planned to arrive in Jacksonville on Monday (yesterday)? Well, my brother and his family weren't going to be in town that first night, so I'd prepaid for a hotel room. Then, of course, my mom deteriorated and all those plans fell apart, but I still had this room to use. And darned if I was going to prepay for a room and not show up. So here I am.
It's actually a nice respite. For once, Snoop isn't crowding me with the Kong and nibbling on my fingers.
I'm hoping there won't be paperwork and such to go through when I die. Certainly there won't be lawyers and financial people involved. I have nothing to leave but the things surrounding me here and the kids know what to do about that.
ReplyDeleteLooks like you were just about to watch "Welcome Stephen" which is one of my favourites films. Co-incidentally it is set in West Hampstead, London and based upon a true story in which a savage dog called Snoop maims a school librarian. It is PG rated.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I don't like the look of that lion fish. I would prefer a battered cod.
I can't get over Big Snoop and the Tiny Ottoman.
ReplyDeleteSnoop under that ottoman cracks me up. How can you say anything but sweet things about him? An angel. Lion fish looks... interesting. I wonder how old that cleaners is. Fascinating bit of history (and kind of artful).
ReplyDeleteWhen I helped take care of my grandfather's death and very simple estate, it still took probably three or four months to complete before all the accounts were closed, checks issued, names switched over, etc. As the saying goes, there was a lot of hurry up and wait.
ReplyDeleteLionfish would definitely be something I would order if I ever go someplace where it is on the menu. The meal looked good from here!
My wife always books rooms at a motel where they put your name on the television. She doesn't let me book them because we wouldn't end up at a place that sophisticated.
The cleaners dates back to when people took clothes to be dyed. That's been a while.
ReplyDeleteThe advantage of not being affluent is a simple estate! No lawyers involved with handsome partner's death, no sales, just taxes, ouch. The gov seizes its last chance to get money from that last tax filing. And I got ten copies of the death certificate, because so many people want it. And they all want original raised seal everything.
My own plan is simple, too, for my son's sake. No funeral, etc.
I'm glad you're able to stay as long as you're needed, no pressure to get back to work at this time of year.
That lionfish looks kind of scary to eat - and I also think your niece's watermelon DOES look like the fish. Your brother definitely has some artistic ability.
ReplyDeleteSnoop knows where to look for comfort.
ReplyDeleteMy father died in early April and we are still wading through paperwork and permits from banks and all that despite the fact that together with him we had simplified a lot and got power of attorney etc. - we were fools thinking we could beat bureaucracy.
Stay on top of it, Steve.
Lionfish are a huge problem in Cozumel, too. They are often on the menu in restaurants and they have lionfish catching tournaments. It's funny how we always think of us humans as the top of the food chain when really, I think we're at the top of the invasive species chain.
ReplyDeleteIt's a LOT when someone dies, even if their affairs are in order, as we say, and those affairs are relatively uncomplicated.
I'm glad you got a night away to yourself. I am sure you needed it.
I've never heard of lionfish before. What an interesting creature that is with poisonous spines and edible parts.
ReplyDeleteLooks like you found a nice comfy room to spend a quiet night. I like how the TV welcomed you.
Snoop looks like a nice mellow dog when he is sleeping.
I have been away from my favourite blogs lately, so am coming late to the news that your mom has passed and am sorry to hear it. It can't be easy to lose your mom, even if she has achieved a ripe old age and no matter what the state of her health. Be good to yourself. -Kate
ReplyDeleteSnoop looks so calm in your photo.
ReplyDeleteThat lion fish looks interesting. I'd try it too.
I like that old building. It looks completely worn out.
I do like Kate's watermelon drawing with all the little watermelons or slices around the edges. and lionfish! wow. aren't their fins/spines supposed to be poisonous?
ReplyDeleteI remember when Minnie was young and high energy. that little dog would wear me out. she would run loops around the yard over and over. that's one thing she doesn't do anymore.
Estate settlement can get complicated. I hope it goes well.
ReplyDeleteWith everything else going on, it's good to get some time to yourself. That lionfish reminds me of eating fish in Senegal! I was non-plussed the first time they brought the whole fish. LOL
ReplyDeleteI think I'm in spam again. Published comment vanished, ew!
ReplyDeleteI love all the watermelon drawings and the shading on Jane's is great!
ReplyDeleteI've had a number of dogs that wanted to be under something, whether they really fit or not. I think it's a security thing.
And it has your name on it! (Not the lionfish, which frankly looks a bit scary).
ReplyDeleteIt will insurmountable in the beginning, I am sure. You just have to wade through it and with such easy communication now, once home you can still assist.
ReplyDeleteThat fish does look interesting if not a bit fearsome.
ReplyDeleteNice to have some downtime on your own in the middle of all of this.
River: There's a lot to be said for having a simple estate!
ReplyDeleteYP: It actually tasted a lot like battered cod! I think if you got a lionfish filet you'd be hard-pressed to tell the difference.
Bob: It's his security space.
Mitchell: An angel! HA!
Ed: Yeah, when you're beholden to the schedules of lawyers and financial planners, things move more slowly. I was surprised by my name on the TV! LOL
Boud: Yeah, I can't even quite bring myself to think about how all this is going to change my taxes. I think I'm going to have to get some professional tax help.
Bug: It's really not scary, though. I think if they cut it into filets it would be much more palatable to many people. Some people don't like the looks of a head-on fish.
Sabine: The bureaucracy is inevitable, I suppose. Argh!
Ms Moon: It's true! We ARE the ultimate invasive species!
Robin: "While he is sleeping" being the key words.
Kate: Thanks. I appreciate the kind words. I feel like my mom has been gone for years, really -- ever since her dementia became more severe. This is the final step of a long process.
Sharon: It DOES look very worn out, doesn't it?! Not sure it has much of a future. I think it might have been a gas station at one point.
Ellen: Yes, lionfish apparently have poisonous spines. I don't know what they do to make them palatable. I didn't nibble on the fins! (Though I'm not sure the poisonous spines are in the fins.)
Red: Thanks. It will be a lengthy process.
Margaret: Yeah, it's very common overseas to be served the entire fish -- even in many parts of Europe. I used to get whole fish in Morocco too.
Boud (again): Don't worry, I found you!
Kelly: Jane studied art, as you can tell. :)
Catalyst: It's really no scarier than any other head-on fish, I think.
Andrew: Yeah, fortunately, with electronic signatures and that kind of thing, a lot of this business can be handled from London.
Caro: It was good to have a little escape!