Friday, November 13, 2009

Swirl


“Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so.” -- Robert Green Ingersoll

People sometimes talk of experiencing a “swirl of emotions,” and though I’ve long known cerebrally what that meant, I don’t think I’ve known emotionally until now. I really do feel like I’m swirling! One moment I’m anxious, another I’m sad, another I’m perversely happy and excited, and then I’m anxious again. Around and around!

Part of me relishes the opportunity to take some time off and pursue my own interests over the next few months. Obviously I’ll be looking for a job, so my time won’t entirely be my own, but I ought to have the opportunity to get out and do more photography on nice days, for example. I’ll be able to read and write more. My career path is wide open. Sounds pretty nice, actually!

Also, I’m intrigued by the opportunity to throw off some of the burdens of journalism. Maybe now I can be more outwardly politically vocal, for example, with less need to maintain an unbiased veneer. Once again, I’ll be job hunting, so I won’t go crazy -- but the possibility is appealing.

I mentioned my layoff explicitly on Facebook yesterday, with the rationale that it’s better for my 400 friends and contacts to know so they’ll think of me if an opening arises. And I’ve told most of my coworkers. My Zen teacher said I have “a new life,” and added, “the important thing is to keep practicing, and being open to what arises.”

It’s oddly exciting, you know?

(Photo: Upper East Side, last week)

5 comments:

Barbara said...

That's sort of the way I felt when I retired, which was somewhat prompted by not being happy with my boss and a few others at my old place of work. The difference was that I would be getting a generous annuity for the rest of my life that would make it unnecessary to get a paying job. Three years later I'm just figuring out what makes me really happy. But I congratulate you on letting your emotions go full tilt as you sort through all your options and learn to experience life in perhaps a new way. You are going to be so much better off in the long run.

Utahdog! said...

I'm envious of your opportunity.

Anonymous said...

Opportunities abound,and you can enjoy more free time and looking at options. It is a new life, and that gives you the refreshing freedom to quest into the unknown.

e said...

I wish you well and hope to see some of your creative efforts in the coming months. I also hope this time is enjoyable for you.

lettuce said...

Steve i know just what you mean about the swirl of emotions - its a very odd time.

hang on to the excitement!
and thats a wonderful quote for times like these