Friday, November 29, 2019

Thanksgiving Rules


This photo, which I took a couple of weeks ago when Olga and I went to Wormwood Scrubs, is definitely not representative of our recent weather. It rained much of the day yesterday, and when it wasn't raining it was gray and gloomy.

Nonetheless I was a gardening whirlwind. I lifted two more dahlias -- the tubers are now drying in the shed. I lifted the amaryllis bulbs and soaked them for an hour in a one percent bleach solution, which is supposed to help clear the "red blotch" fungus that has afflicted them. (It sounds like an old wives' tale -- is that a sexist expression? -- but I figured I'd try it. I read it online, so it must be true.) They're also drying now and I'll  put them in some paper or cardboard to rest before replanting in fresh soil early next spring.

I raked the leaves again and did some trimming and weeding back in the wildflower garden.

Indoors, I changed all our bedding and took our sheets and blankets to the laundromat to be washed. Unfortunately I forgot to pick them up in the evening, so we had to improvise for blankets last night -- an old bedspread and a duvet we bought when we first moved to London in 2011 and were using our previous landlord's furniture. (Before our own mattress arrived from the states.) It doesn't really fit our bed, but it did the trick in a pinch.

Anyway, there were more chores, but you get the picture.

By mid-afternoon, when we went to Rules to meet Catherine, Dave's former co-worker from the states, and her husband Tom, I was in dire need of a relaxed, celebratory Thanksgiving! We had a terrific meal -- I had dandelion salad, breast of pheasant and bread & butter pudding -- and I was once again struck by how much I love that restaurant. They had a set Thanksgiving menu with turkey, which Dave got, and that seemed surprising given that Thanksgiving isn't a thing in England -- but I guess they get a lot of business from visiting Yanks!

I tried several times to call my Mom in Florida, but her phone rang unanswered. My brother tells me she often doesn't answer it, and since she moved to the memory-care unit she doesn't have an answering machine, so I can't even leave a message. It's getting harder and harder to communicate with her. She no longer uses e-mail or social media and she doesn't pick up or open her snail mail. Maybe I can write her a card via my brother. I'm running out of other options!

14 comments:

  1. Is 'old wives tale' a sexist expression? Not here in the Trash Palace. It's just an expression, you stupid cat. You need to be a Peanuts fan to get that - I could explain but it would take too long. I could also step into the quicksand and elaborate further but I've strapped my flak jacket on today and there's an end to it.
    About your Mom, this us a truly difficult situation, from which there will be no good outcome. Sending something via your brother seems like the best option right now. My head goes out to you Steve.
    Alphie

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  2. Sorry. Heart not head. All the flak today has totally done my head in...
    Alphie

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  3. Why we don't go out for Thanksgiving is beyond me.
    Well, I do know why we all cook and share and come together in one home or another but it's always SO MUCH WORK and that's part of the gift of it, I suppose. But your little dinner out sounds perfect. And I know that Dave is going to cook a feast too.
    As to your mother- that is so hard. Yes, try sending her a card via your brother. Perhaps he could help her call you? I don't know.
    As my own mother so often said- Death isn't the worst thing.

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  4. Your dandelion salad reminded of when I was very young. My brother and I would pick tons of dandelions, and our next door neighbor would cook us up a batch of dandelion greens to enjoy. Your dinner sounded wonderful. The restaurants around here closed for the day, (not the usual) so we ended up sharing our pasta and meat sauce dinner with a couple of the tenants. It was delicious! I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. I think sending a card via your brother may be a wise decision. Maybe you could even call her via your brother's phone if he is visiting with her. You have a wonderful day, huga, Edna B.

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  5. Now I'm worried about your mom. When my mom was in a memory-care facility, we would call the staff sometimes to check in and see if everything was okay. My mom had stopped answering her phone as well. I hope you make contact in what ever way you can, so your mom will know you've been wanting to talk with her, and you'll know how she's doing.

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  6. Of course I'm jealous again that you got to go to Rules. That will definitely be on my agenda on my next trip to London. It's gloomy looking here today. I woke up around 1 AM and the wind was blowing like crazy. We are getting a winter storm here with heavy snows in the northern part of the state. I'm so sorry about the trouble reaching your mother. That has to be a bit troubling for you so far away.

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  7. sorry to hear your mom is declining so rapidly. at least it seems so to me. I spent all morning finishing the dressing and afternoon was with the family...my sister, both our kids and son-in-law, and all four grandkids.

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  8. While the two of us working together can conjure up a pretty good feast, I like the idea of going to a restaurant for Thanksgiving Day dinner. Years ago when I was working unconscionable hours in television, the wife and daughter used to go to a favorite Szechuan/Hunan restaurant on Christmas Eves. When I had the day off, I'd go with them. It was a favorite treat.

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  9. It's a little tough to get yard work done when there's so much rain.

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  10. I know the feeling of needing to get in contact with a parent in care and the options dwindling. Robin's suggestion of calling the staff is something I had to do on occasion with my dad. And your own idea of sending a card via your brother is a good one. It must be hard to be so far away but it's good your brother lives closer to her.

    It's good to have a favourite place to eat out that always delivers a great experience. As for Thanksgiving meal offerings, where there's a market there's a business willing to provide! So I assume there's a market :)

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  11. Contact the staff at her unit directly and leave messages with them...that worked for another friend whose parent refused to answer the phone.

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  12. I'm glad you had a Thanksgiving meal to enjoy. I am so sorry about your mom. My heart goes out to you. I'm sure you are glad of your recent visit and many good memories of happier times.

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  13. Who doesn't love receiving real mail you can hold in your hand? Let's hope it works for you and your mom. It never was a bad way to communicate, letterwriting ...

    Kate

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  14. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom Steve. I think that is one of my biggest fears growing older is that I will lose my cherished memories of my loved ones and events that have mattered most to me during my life.
    Already my kids say things like... How many more times are you going to ask that question? Or I have already answered that question Mom. It is scary.
    I hope that you can find a way to communicate with her. I wish you the best of luck trying to communicate with her. Big Hugs!

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