Right after I wrote yesterday's post, I took a tentative step toward changing my travel plans. I could tell from my FaceTime call with my mom that she was not going to last until Monday. So I called our friend Gordon, explained the situation and asked if he could take care of Olga for a few nights until Dave returns from Seattle. He said sure -- in fact he'd stay with her in our flat so Olga could keep her routines.
Then I got in touch with Travelocity to check out flight options, and long story short, I'm blogging from Newark, New Jersey, on my way to Jacksonville.
Unfortunately, right after I landed here, I got a text from my brother that my mom died about two hours earlier, at 6:50 p.m. He said he was with her at the time, holding her hand and talking to her, with Tony Bennett playing on the TV in the background.
So I won't get to see mom again, but honestly, I feel OK -- I made the attempt, and I'd said what I needed to say on our FaceTime call. I really don't think she was very aware anyway. I'm glad my brother was there, and after I arrive tomorrow morning I can help him settle things. I'll stay about a week.
My journey has been a financial boondoggle so far -- the airline wouldn't change or refund my Monday ticket, so I had to buy a SECOND ticket to fly yesterday. I'm going to appeal to their customer service people, with a copy of my mom's death certificate, to try to get the money back (or at least a voucher) for the Monday flight. Even if it was a nonrefundable ticket, doesn't the death of a parent seem like an extenuating circumstance?
Then, after we landed in Newark, we sat on the tarmac for 45 minutes waiting for a gate to open up. And then, after a long queue at passport control, I climbed into a taxi with the most CLUELESS driver in the world, who couldn't figure out how to get to my hotel even though it's about four minutes from the airport.
On the bright side, I sat next to this guy on my flight. You know I'm not a fan of talking to people on airplanes, but he and I struck up a conversation and he was pretty interesting. He told me all about being a YouTube vlogger and also some of his own personal drama. I'm not sure he asked me more than about three questions, but I didn't mind. I really didn't want to explain where I was going or why.
Those roses in the photo came to our flat yesterday morning -- an anniversary gift from Dave. Of course I hated the fact that I only got to enjoy them for about two hours before buzzing off to the airport! But at least Gordon can appreciate them -- and Dave too after he gets home in a few days.
Life is insane. And meanwhile, I need sleep.
44 comments:
Oh, Steve. I haven't been here in such a long time, and I'm sorry to hear of your mother's death. I'm sending love to you -- it's weird to lose one's mother -- since my mother died last year, I've found it existential, which I guess is only right. Be gentle with yourself.
I am so sorry to hear about your mum. It is lovely that you got to talk to her the other day and effectively say goodbye. Your brother will be glad to have you there.
So sorry to hear about your mother's death, Steve. Sincere condolences from me to you and your family. I was on my way from Paris to SF to see my mother after she had a serious stroke when she died before I got there. For me, that added to the feeling of loss, but I had seen her the day before she fell ill. Glad you got to talk to her at least. Sending hugs from here. xx0 N2
I'm so sorry :(
Sincere condolences to you and the family Steve.
Sorry that you didn't make it in time, but you tried!
My brother was driving from Essex to Leicester when Dad died. Mum and I were there though.
I so sorry to hear of this final moment but I think in many ways by your descriptions, she had left already even if her body hadn't quite decided to follow. I hope this week will go smoothly for you without too many tears.
Some airlines have a compassionate department or officer, especially the larger ones.
So sorry for your loss Steve. You're an orphan now.
So sorry, Steve. I hope you and your brother can have some special time together this week. Wishing you nothing but sweet memories.
Nice roses. Sorry about your mum. She was in good hands with your brother and you had had the facetime moments with her thank goodness. I looked at the vlogger guy and am now subscribing to his channel, at least for a while. I just thought he is sort of cute. Sometimes people like that on planes are just what you need to take your mind off everything.
Sorry to hear about your mother. It sounds like she went peacefully with some family around and that, for me, is the best way to leave this Earth.
Also glad you got a last chat with her.
You and your family are in our thoughts.
So sorry about your mom. This happens so often, that the person goes when you're on your way. But you did get a goodbye with her, and your brother really needs your help with the arrangements right now. I'm glad you changed your plans.
Did you wave to me as you flew over my house, south of Newark, on your flight path?
Sincerest Condolences. On the matter of your ticket, I suggest that you write an actual letter and email to the CEO of the Airline in question. A few years ago I had to do the same thing to get my ticket refunded for the same reason.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Steve. I have enjoyed reading about your mom and your family all these years. She knew you loved her. That is the important thing. It's hard when we are far away; I'm in Ohio, my mom was in Florida. We tell them we love them, and show it, every chance we get, I think. So when their time comes, they leave this world knowing they were loved.
Your mother raised a wonderful son in you.
All I can say here is that I know she loved you and I know she knew that you loved her. And that is everything.
Your Mom was ready to go and she was able to show you a little bit of her earlier life in that dream you had about her! How she use to be and how she would want you to remember her!
She will know you are there, and she knows your brother was there, holding her hand. Perhaps he told her it was OK to leave!
Remember all the good times with your family and friends and mourn your loss in your way!
My condolences to you and your family! ♥️
I am so sorry for your loss, Steve. You did get to say the words of love to her before she left this lifetime journey. She heard you. My deepest condolences to you and all who loved your mom.
It will be so helpful to your brother to have you there to make all those last decisions. You will be amazed and comforted by all of the fun and touching memories that people who knew her will share with you. Peace, Steve! and Happy Anniversary!
condolences on the passing of your mother. I'm sorry you weren't able to get there in time but as you said, you had already told her the things you wanted to say and she had already come to say goodbye. She knew it would be difficult for you to be there in person, being so far away. good of your friend Gordon to fill in til Dave gets home.
we are so sorry fur your loss, sending our condolences and Happy Anniversary
I'm so sorry Steve. Sending more hugs and I'm glad you'll have your brother beside you.
Sending hugs..and how ironic that you were listening to Tony Bennett.
Ah Steve - so sorry your mom passed away, but as you said you were able to spend some time with her saying the things you needed to say. That's more important. And now you'll be there for your brother.
Very sorry for your loss.
Condolences to you & your family.
So sorry for your loss Steve, take comfort in the fact that she was ready to go and that you did get to speak with her one last time. You did all you could.
My mother died in a nursing home. My father, who was with her, had texted me that she was fading fast, so I left work to go be with her. She died as I took my first step up the stairs to the main entrance off the home. It was surreal.
I am so sorry you didn't make it in time; she did know she was loved in her final days.
Steve, this is sad news, I hope and wish you take solace from the fact that she died peacefully without pain or struggle. From your writing here, you have been a wonderful son.
Sorry for your loss.
I read your blog every day but don't often comment . I have been thinking of you over the last week as I have gone through the same thing and it is such a difficult thing when you are so far away.
Steve, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Take care of yourself.
Peace and strength, Steve. It's good your brother was able to be with your mom and now you can be there for each other.
I'm glad you got doggy care for Olga figured out - yay for good friends. And those roses are so beautiful.
Take care, my friend.
So sorry for your loss and for all the travel troubles that go with it. It's good that you can be there with your brother and the two of you can take care of that things that are needed. Take care!
I'm sorry. If there's anything I can to help while you're in Jacksonville, please email me at janiegoltz@gmail.com. I don't check the email associated with my blog regularly but I check the janiegoltz email every day.
Love,
Janie
Please accept my condolences.
Irene
Oh, Steve. I'm sorry. You have my sincere sympathy. I'm glad you and your brother will be together for the next week. Beautiful roses from Dave.
I'm glad you tried and so sorry you didn't make it. I thought that airlines had some kind of compassionate policy for situations such as yours. Hope you can get that worked out although more hassles are NOT what you need right now. Take care and get some rest.
I echo everything that Ms. Moon said. That's one important thing. You'll be there with your brother to start sorting out all the end of life details - that's important too. Big hugs from the Boise crew.
Chris from Boise
My condolences on your great loss.
I am so very sorry to hear of your mother's passing. My condolences.
So sorry Steve. You did everything you could. You and your brother will have each other to work out the final arrangements. I hope that the airline is cooperative. I know that they were with me when I had similar circumstances and they reimbursed me for the later ticket that I had booked.
My condolences, Steve, to you and your family.
My heart goes out to you, Steve, and I send you wishes for peace and healing. I think she knew you were planning to be there from your conversation -- I will always believe they can hear us, even if they haven't the energy to respond. You know you did everything possible. I just hope the airline comes through. Big hugs.
Thanks to all of you for the condolences. I am a bit overwhelmed so can't answer every comment but I do appreciate them all. Thanks so much for being here and contributing to my blog and helping me process this news.
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