I went through a mid-life period when I lived in a tiny apartment in New York and pared my possessions down to a bare minimum. There are several things I got rid of during this time that I wish I had back again -- some photographic negatives, a childhood scrapbook, a blown glass cup that I bought at St. Armand's Circle in Sarasota, Fla. But they're all long gone and I live with their memories now.
The other day I was looking for a bamboo soup spoon that I hadn't thought about, or seen, in a very long time. Some of you may remember that during my New York years I practiced Zen Buddhism with a group in SoHo. Part of our Zen tradition was oriyoki, a ceremonial meal in which we all ate at our places in the meditation hall from three very small nesting bowls. Our only utensils were a rubber spatula (mostly for cleaning the bowls afterwards), a pair of chopsticks and a wooden spoon.
So, yes, my bamboo spoon was the one that went with my oriyoki set. Even though I haven't eaten an oriyoki meal in many years, I've saved my bowls. (I accidentally broke a piece off the smallest one, but that's a long story.) And I regularly use the chopsticks and the spatula even now. But where, I got to thinking, was that spoon?
I realized with dread that I'd cleaned out the kitchen silverware drawer not too long ago, and I'd thrown away a handful of wooden utensils that we got free with Chinese food take-away orders. They were cluttering up the drawer and driving me crazy. I decided I must have also grabbed my bamboo spoon and tossed it as well.
I literally went through a period of mourning about this. Every time I opened the freakin' silverware drawer, I felt bad.
And then, lo and behold, I was looking for some packing tape the other day and I opened my box of office supplies in the dining room buffet -- and there was my oriyoki spoon, nestled among the stapler and ruler and Sharpie marker. How it got in there, I have no idea. I mean, obviously I put it there, but I have no idea what I was thinking. I was so relieved!
So there you go -- a story about something I regretted throwing away that has a happy ending after all.
When I got home from work yesterday evening it was already getting dark, but I walked into the house and declared to Dave that it was time to rescue the avocado. "It's good for Christmas," I told him -- since I always decorate it at that time -- and yes, I was also using the persuasive power of the fact that it was my birthday to my advantage.
So he reluctantly came outside with me and we heaved the avocado from its place on the patio back into its corner in the living room. We had to trim a little crown of leaves from the top, but otherwise it fit pretty well. It is due for a harder prune but I think that should wait until we put it out next spring, so it can grow its new leaves in the sunlight.
It looks a bit yellowish, and I'm not sure what's going on there. Maybe it's a slightly different color because it was outdoors, but if anything I'd think that would make it darker green. Maybe it needs to be fed. Frankly, if it died, that would probably relieve some marital tension!
I have many items like your spoon
ReplyDeleteThings that mean nothing to others
But mean the world to me
I have many items like that too! Sentimental value!
DeleteIs it possible that Dave slipped that bamboo spoon in the drawer just to wind you up? Not a Zen Buddhist thing to do I know but good fun all the same. There are several things that I regret parting with including my son's Ghostbusters house and his Ghostbusters figures and a Popeye the Sailorman vest I bought at The Isle of Wight Festival in 1970 using money I had earned from collecting litter.
ReplyDeleteOh, I bet that Popeye vest would be worth something nowadays!
DeleteI struggle at times with my own filing system. What seems perfectly logical one day, will mean the next day I can't find something. You filed the spoon in a place that had some logic at the time for some reason.
ReplyDeleteI'll side with Dave on the avocado. Usual expert gardening advice is don't feed a plant that is unwell.
Giving things away? Nothing beyond my complete series collection of Sydney tram books. I gave the collection to a tram museum. I hope the books remained at the museum and did not go to someone's private collection. At least I scanned all the maps before sending them.
DeleteI think the spoon probably came from a drawer along with all that other stuff and that's why it wound up in the box.
DeleteI don’t think even my birthday would get SG to let me drag that back into the house again. Dave’s a good egg.
ReplyDeleteWe did a serious downsize before moving to Spain. Gave away or sold so much. And I DO regret some of the choices we made. Some for practical reasons, others for sentimental. Happy for you and your bamboo spoon.
Downsizing is almost always a good thing, but inevitably there are missteps!
DeleteI think that your avocado looks fine there in the corner,( you can still use the door!) but I would have to remove all those leaves that have brown/dried ends on them!
ReplyDeleteI hesitate to take them off. They'll fall off on their own, probably in a few weeks, but until then they're still contributing to the plant so I'll leave them for now!
DeleteOh, I am so glad the avocado came inside. I would have lopped off a couple feet of that top, myself, but as you know, I'm no expert. https://gregalder.com/yardposts/reading-avocado-leaves/
ReplyDeleteHow about this: I went to put on my favorite sneakers, and one of the inserts is gone. The right foot...could you have a look in that desk drawer?
Interesting link! I'm thinking either the tree has had too much water (sitting in a saucer when we've had lots of rain) or it's too root-bound. And I'm not sure how to solve that problem, because we don't want to move it to a bigger pot so it can grow even more!
DeleteMike's moving Ms. Pinky & Rita into the house tonight. So I will lose the giant round tub for another winter. Of course, I've tried to take exactly one bath in it in the 4.5 years we've lived here!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found the spoon. With our moves we always lose things - sometimes we find them later, and sometimes they're lost & gone forever...
Where do those missing things go, one wonders...?
DeleteThe Avocado Tree makes a swell, interior design, statement.
ReplyDeleteIn the immortal words of Patrick Swayze (Dirty Dancing): "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." So do make sure Dave isn't left to "feed" the spindly. Consequently, and "accidentally" dying [the plant]. Marital peace is hard to come by. Ask Michael Douglas (War of the Roses). Anything goes.
As to your question: Irony of ironies, as soon as you are ready to part/have parted with something, the sooner you'll "need" it, want it, are inconsolable at its absence.
As you did with your spoon, I will misplace things. Best to put that very item out of my mind. And what do you know? Ten minutes later I'll find it (without looking) in the most unlikely of places.
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Yeah, I think the avocado looks pretty good in that corner, actually! And it makes a good story, since we grew it from a seed.
DeleteI can't think of something I have gotten rid of that I regretted but I can think of many things I know I have somewhere but can't find. Generally I get a replacement for them after awhile and then when I go to put it someplace where I can find it the next time, I will find the original item that I knew I had somewhere. Then I go through the dilemma of pondering keeping both to have a spare or getting rid of one and which one to get rid.
ReplyDeleteStuff! It's such a pain!
DeleteHow's this? You start a new avocado seedling and when it is nicely established and ready to go into a pot, you hold a little service for the old avocado and let it go.
ReplyDeleteOr perhaps not.
I'm glad you didn't lose that spoon too! It is a sweet little thing.
Oh, but I'm attached to this one! I think we need to find a way to prune it -- possibly at the root as well -- to refresh it.
DeleteGo for a coffee tree instead of an avocado. I have had one for years and it is only about 4 1/2 feet tall. Last year I lopped the top off because it was getting a bit tall and now it is so full and lovely green leaves. Yes, I have to bring it in for winter, but for the last two years I have been rewarded with a few coffee beans. Granted, less than ten total, but it is exciting to think I can grow a coffee tree in Virginia. My friends think I am nuts, but as any gardener knows, it is the challenge, not the outcome of growing.
ReplyDeleteThat's an interesting idea! I've never heard of growing a coffee tree indoors -- and I had no idea it would ever produce beans! That's very cool.
DeleteI love that you found your bamboo spoon and that you brought the avocado tree indoors for the winter. Two good stories with happy endings.
ReplyDeleteIndeed!
DeleteWell, the tree still fits in the corner so you win this round, I guess! I would trim off the brown bits tho.
ReplyDeleteGlad you found your lovely spoon!
The brown bits will trim themselves. The tree naturally loses old leaves throughout the winter. I'm just going to let it do its thing!
DeleteThe avocado is lacy and delicate looking , I like it breaking up the straight lines of the window/door. It is pretty. Glad you found your beloved memorable spoon, It is not going anywhere, not without you.
ReplyDeleteIt's actually better than the yucca (which we moved to the side) because the avocado lets more light into the room.
DeleteMy gosh, that avocado tree is huge. That must have taken some work to get it in the house. I'm glad you found your spoon.
ReplyDeleteIt's not as heavy as it looks, surprisingly!
DeleteI'm quite impressed with the avocado tree! It's far bigger than I expected, so I can understand Dave's hesitation in having come in. I want to see a photo of it decorated for Christmas when the time comes.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found the spoon. Sometimes it's the small things that keep us sane.
The funny thing is, it didn't get much taller while outside over the summer. It's about as big as it was last year -- except, like I said, we had to take off a sprout at the top so it wouldn't hit the ceiling.
DeleteSo glad you found the spoon. I accidentally got rid of my late husband's military uniforms. He wasn't happy with me. That avocado tree is huge!
ReplyDeleteOh, yikes! Fortunately I've managed not to toss anything significant of Dave's, but he's not really a "stuff" person anyway.
DeleteHappy birthday Steve! I'm glad you found the spoon. It's a beautiful one. Sometimes I like to pretend angels or fairies grant us our wishes, and in that story, you did throw out the spoon, but your magical being felt your grief about it, and restored it to you by tucking it into an odd place. As for the avocado plant, I think you should just take a deep breath and prune every leaf that is bruised. The rest will bounce back beautifully, even in winter, next to the glass door. That plant is plenty alive, you can tell by the growth at the top of it. Not that you asked for my two cents!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the bday wishes! YES, the spoon's reappearance was just like that -- as if it had been placed there by magic. The problem with pruning the avocado in winter is that the leaves it regrows then get sunburned when we move it outside in spring. (Although we could just keep it inside all year -- we did that for a long time.)
DeleteHappy Birthday! Your birthday magic is strong, I believe, and recalled that spoon from the maw of entropy for you. It must be good to have that familiar shape in your hands once again, putting you, literally, in touch with your past. Good birthday manifesting.
ReplyDeleteI felt surprisingly intense relief when I found it!
DeleteI can imagine the relief you felt when you found the spoon.
ReplyDeleteIt's weird that I was so sad to lose such a small, relatively insignificant thing.
DeleteBeautiful On All Fronts - In The Ortho World, We Use Those Exact Feelings - Such As A Knee That Will Not Release - The Practitioner Uses The Lost Spoon, That Cant Find It, The Morning Of The Loss Or Tossed Out, And Then The Overwhelming Relief When Found - That Build Up In Our Own Nervous System Builds In The Clients "Knee" And Then Mostly Likely Releases When The Practitioner's System Responds Or Relaxes With That Satisfaction When Finding The Spoon Again - Its A Brilliant Technique - I Use That One With Misplaced Car Keys And The Mary Had A Little Lamb Technique All The Time - Anyway, Stop Reading And Head Out With Olga Girls As She Needs A Good Bark Right About Now
ReplyDeleteCheers
Interesting -- the idea of using that flood of relief in bodywork! Olga ALWAYS needs a good bark. :)
DeleteThat's an impressive tree.
ReplyDeleteWooden spoons are great for pressing in staples that haven't quite gone in right.
Ha! So THAT's why it was in the office-supply drawer!
DeleteWell I'm a bit jealous. I've started an avocado plant and it seemed to be doing fine -- twice -- and then its leaves fell off. Right now it's a spike and I'm waiting to see if it comes back. I moved it out of direct light after the first leaf-drop. I try not to overwater it. At least your has leaves! -Kate
ReplyDeleteI think they LIKE direct sun, actually, as long as they're not allowed to dry out too much (and not kept too wet). I've had them get to that "stick" stage in the past, though. They're not naturally potted plants so they occasionally struggle!
DeleteI do have regrets. We downsized out of a big house into an RV and a storage unit. We got rid of most of our cold weather clothes thinking we would never again live where it's cold. Here we are, in Spokane, where there are copious amounts of winter. That was dumb.
ReplyDeleteArgh! We never know where the roads will take us, right?!
DeleteHi Steve. For what it's worth, I believe that you can prune your Avocado by cutting the top off of it so that it is a more managable height and shape.
ReplyDeleteI run into that same problem all the time. As soon as I get rid of something, I need it. Have a super day, hugs, Edna B.
ReplyDeleteYou had to stop looking before the spoon would turn up!
ReplyDeleteOur Avocado has been in for over a week...I forgot to wrap the fig tree before we came away though...
A coffee tree sounds interesting!
Happy Birthday! That is the biggest avocado tree in a pot that I have ever seen. I have a fig tree in a pot and its leaves are turning yellow as well. I read that every three years or so their roots need to be trimmed. I am a bit scared to try that, but it makes some intuitive sense.
ReplyDelete