Yesterday was Mom's 84th birthday -- not that she was entirely aware of it. Apparently her fellow residents all sang "Happy Birthday" to her in the morning, and she got a special tram trip around the grounds of her retirement center. By the time my brother and I showed up in the late afternoon, she was sound asleep. One of the nurses woke her, which I felt bad about, but eventually she got a bit more animated and we had a good visit. We brought some cupcakes and some new slippers, and we took her in to dinner and sat with her while she ate. When I left she gave me a long hug, which is very unusual for my mom -- as I've said before, it's often hard to know what she's thinking, but I know what a long hug means.
My brother and I spent the earlier part of the day at Castaway Island on the Intracoastal Waterway. You may remember from previous visits that I usually go there when I'm in Jacksonville to see birds and other wildlife.
There wasn't a whole lot happening in the heat of the day. We saw a couple of egrets (above), some cardinals, a red-bellied woodpecker, an osprey, a buzzard and some small crabs.
The cardinals, both males, sat in the trees and called to each other, beener-beener-beener.
This picture of a distant boater on the waterway shows how hot it was -- you can see the heat ripples in the air. I would not want to be out on that boat. That looks miserable.
After a sweaty walk in which we continually brushed away deerflies that did their best to penetrate the barrier of our insect repellent, we retreated again to the air-conditioned car. Blessed air conditioning! We drove to Neptune Beach, where we had exotic tacos at the Flying Iguana -- in my case, one seared scallop, and one green tomato and black-eyed-pea. We found a colorful, aquatically decorated sculpture of a jaguar (top photo) outside the restaurant.
One of the things I wrestled with on this trip was what to do with my great-grandmother's quilt. It was on Mom's bed when we visited, and it had obviously been worn by recent laundering. I initially thought I might take it home to preserve it -- Mom was always hesitant to use it, and it's mostly been in drawers and closets as long as we've had it. But then I thought, "Why?" I don't think my great-grandmother would mind it being used by Mom under these circumstances, and we can't save everything as if we lived in a museum. Maybe Mom derives some comfort from its familiarity. I left it there.
Today I'm headed back to Tampa.
I hope you said "Beener-beener-beener!" to James and his family as you departed. Sounds like it was a good visit up to Jacksonville and quite reassuring to see how your mother is doing. No worries about blood sucking deer flies on Billy Fury Way.
ReplyDeleteThere are other worries on Billy Fury Way, though!
DeleteI'm glad you left the quilt for your mother to use. I'm sure when your great-grandmother made it she meant it to be used up, with love. I hope you took a picture of it. I've love to see it.
ReplyDeleteThere's a photo on that linked post. I think she would agree that it was meant to be used.
DeleteThat hug from your Mom probably said quite a lot.
ReplyDeleteI have an afghan that my mother crocheted for me when I was in high school eons ago, and I have always had it on the back of the couch. Carlos asked why I didn't put it away and try to preserve it and I said I'd probably forget I had it. And my way, I see it every day and smile about my Mom
I forgot we had this quilt, too! I think we had two made by my great-grandmother, but Mom used the other one all the time. I don't know why she used one and not the other.
DeleteThis trip was meant to be. You and your mom needed that hug. Glad you left her the quilt. Our moms almost shared a birthday--my mother would have been 112 today. She died 22 years ago. That reminder is a reason why I am so happy you've had this time with your mom and family.
ReplyDeleteSafe travels back to Tampa and London.
I never had any doubt that I needed to make this trip, though I find all the travel restrictions somewhat daunting. It was indeed a good decision.
DeleteYou did exactly the right thing about the quilt.
ReplyDeleteI think so too.
DeleteHappy 84th Mom - Well Done There Little Lady - Pleases My Heart Knowing There Was A True Family Embrace - Thanx For The Efforts There Brother Reed
ReplyDeleteCheers
P.S. Remind Dave To Hide Uncle Treats Around The House And Under The Preferred Pink Blanket For Olga Girl
I have a feeling Olga is being spoiled in my absence!
DeleteOh that hug, that's why you made the journey. I'm glad you left the quilt. It's good for her to have a familiar blanket. Love the photos. Have a safe trip to Tampa.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly how it felt -- that hug is why I came.
Deletethe whole point of a quilt is to be used. what good is it folded up in a drawer where not only is it not used, it's not even seen. and I think that hug was worth the whole trip.
ReplyDeleteI agree on both counts!
DeleteI'm so happy to read about your mom giving you a long hug. So sweet. You're a good son, Steve.
ReplyDeleteIt's one of the few ways she can communicate these days. Well worth all the stresses of flying!
DeleteI'm glad you had some really nice time with your Mom. That was a very special hug. I've made afghans for lots of my family and friends, and I would hope that they actually use them rather than put them safely away in a drawer. Enjoy the rest of your vacation, hugs, Edna B.
ReplyDeleteIt did feel very special. And yes, I think my great-grandmother would rather someone use the quilt than keep it tucked away.
DeleteSounds like you are having lots of good, happy, family moments on this trip. So glad you were able to go. The quilt is beautiful and so nice for your Mom to have familiar things around her.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a good trip. I don't think my mom is consciously aware of the quilt, but on some unconscious level she may find it comforting.
DeleteMaybe you should check if your mom is distressed at the quilt being used if she has been so focused on preserving it. It's hard to know what goes through someones mind when they can't hold onto ideas so much anymore...
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how I could check that, but at this point, I don't think it bothers her to use it. If not now, when?
DeleteYou're heading into my territory with that green tomato and black-eyed-pea taco (which sounds FABULOUS by the way). I love that you got a long hug from your mom!
ReplyDeleteIt sounded better than it tasted, to be honest. I found it a bit bland. Needed some hot sauce!
DeleteGreat decision about the quilt! We made similar decisions over the years. What are we saving things for. Get pleasure when you can. That hug from your mother must have been so wonderful. I can feel it. My mother never ever GAVE hugs, although she gladly received them in her later years. The heat photo is excellent, and I immediately thought the insects must have been awful. It sounds like you’re having an exceptional visit.
ReplyDeleteMy mom gave hugs, but rather sparingly. It's like when she told me a few years ago that she loved me -- it's not anything she would have done under normal circumstances, but she's feeling the need these days, I guess.
DeleteCardinals are my favorite birds, so I appreciate the photo! You have my sympathy in dealing the the deer flies. I battle them (and horseflies) every morning when I walk. They're brutal.
ReplyDeleteIf your mom is enjoying using the quilt, I think it's right that you left it for her. I remember Erma Bombeck doing some routine about enjoying things rather than preserving them.
Cardinals are beautiful, and we're fortunate that they're such a common species. Erma is always right!
DeleteIt's good that you make an effort to get out and see things. It's also good that you hang in there with your Mom.
ReplyDeleteSeeing her was well worth the visit.
DeleteI'll have to listen to a recording of the Cardinal to find out what beener-beener-beener sounds like. Another good visit to your mother. Nice.
ReplyDeleteCardinals have two calls (as far as I know) -- one is a single sharp "chip" note, and the other is beener-beener-beener. That's what it sounds like to me, anyway!
DeleteI knew someone once who found a quilter to repair her mother's quilt through Joanne Fabrics. It had fallen apart and she wanted to preserve what she could. Perhaps you could do the same when your Mother no longer has need of it. I'm glad you had some time in nature and got that hug.
ReplyDeleteInteresting! I guess when the time comes that might be an option. So far it's not THAT worn.
DeleteI'm so glad you got that hug. What a great memory to carry with you.
ReplyDeleteIt was exactly what we both needed, I think.
DeleteI looked back at the quilt. It was made with care and might as well be used. You should feel bad about your mom being awakened to visit with you. She has lots of time to sleep. It's lovely that she gave you that long hug.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I only felt bad because it took her a while to come around. I think she was really deeply asleep. She was probably exhausted from all the birthday activity!
DeleteThe birthday celebration sounds like it went very well and the "long hug" sounds like the perfect way to end the visit. That pink jaguar is an interesting decoration.
ReplyDeleteI could not have planned that hug better! It's like she knew I was leaving. I think she does absorb things on some level.
DeleteI am glad that you left the quilt for your mom. It is obvious that she recognizes some of the pieces of her life. I am glad for the long hug. That memory is now a piece of YOUR own life.
ReplyDeleteI have an idea that a librarian job is opening up at Redbridge Library in East London. You may wish to get an application in.
The statue: It looks like Pink Panther is metamorphosing!
ReplyDeleteThat Redbridge situation is CRAZY! Definitely a reminder to be careful about who you're hiring! LOL
DeleteI don't think my mom looks at the quilt and thinks, "Oh, my grandmother made that." But I'm sure she knows it on some level.
Your mum may not remember who made the quilt, but somewhere in her mind she has probably made a connection with it. You did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteYeah, exactly. She sees it as a familiar object, I think.
DeleteA quilt full of memories.The maker's and the users.
ReplyDeleteGlad you left it with her, and had a long hug.
I think you made the right choice about the quilt. I agree it should be used, especially by your mom. A worn quilt is good and soft, too.
ReplyDelete