A Schnitzel in My Pocket

Yes, that is a cocktail made to resemble the Ukrainian flag -- and called, in fact, "The Zelenskyy." Dave and I had them yesterday when we went to lunch prior to the Film Music Gala concert at Royal Albert Hall.

We went to an elegant Polish restaurant called "Ognisko Polskie," which translates to "The Polish Hearth." The food was terrific, as were the cocktails, which supposedly help generate money for Ukrainian refugee relief. (Ingredients: lemonade, apricot brandy, blue curacao and Polish vodka.) There's something a little "Let Them Eat Cake" about drinking cocktails to help refugees, but hey, we tried to do our part.

I had a Polish variety of borscht and a schnitzel, which turned out to be a breaded slab of pork the size of Colorado atop some potatoes. Dave got a variety of appetizers including some pierogis, gravlax, and some dumplings, and an apple pie dessert. As good as it was, I couldn't begin to eat that entire Schnitzel -- not without going unconscious at the concert -- so I decided to take about half of it home to Olga.

However, I didn't really think through the logistics of carrying leftovers into Royal Albert Hall. (I blame the Zelenskyy.) I wanted to keep it out of sight so I shoved the foil box in my jacket pocket. It was sealed and wrapped in a paper bag, and with my jacket around it I'm sure no one suspected a thing -- but still, concealing a slab of meat on my body is the trashiest thing I've done in a long time. I felt like Divine in "Pink Flamingoes."

This was our seat for the concert. As you can tell, we were in the choir section just behind the gong, and it seemed like pretty much a full house. (There were still empty seats when I took that photo before the performance but they filled up by the time it started.)

I got the giggles almost immediately after we sat down, thinking that I was sitting in Royal Albert Hall with a schnitzel in my pocket. Every once in a while I'd lean over to Dave during the show and say, "WHAT could this BE in my POCKET?!" I'm not sure he appreciated it as much as I did.

The musicians, from the Royal Philharmonic, played selections from movies including "E.T.," "West Side Story," "The Magnificent Seven," "Jurassic Park," "Star Wars" and, for the encore, "Rocky." It was a good lineup -- heavy on the John Williams, but that's OK -- and we enjoyed it a lot. Film music is the soundtrack to all of our lives, and a sort of classical music for the common man, it seems to me. It's not surprising these concerts are well attended. And it was great to finally be able to use these tickets we purchased three years ago!

Afterwards, we rode the bus home and presented Olga with her schnitzel. She made short work of it and I hope she appreciated the degree to which I compromised my personal dignity to bring it to her.