Sunday, December 15, 2024

Finally, a Day of Rest


The hellebores in the back garden have opened -- and I was amazed to see that even in mid-December, this one had little aphids on it. It's been a pretty warm winter so far and in any event, I have no idea what aphids do in winter. Maybe they're always around.

Yesterday was a calm, relaxing day -- exactly what Dave and I both needed. We had a professional gardener come over in the morning to give us an estimate on pruning our front garden, and I had him look at the back as well. I want him to give us some idea of the work that needs to be done there. I doubt we'll hire him for both jobs -- he's my neighbor's gardener and she says he's expensive -- but you never know. It would be nice to have a professional give everything a once-over.

I went grocery shopping, stocking up on some soft food for Dave like yogurt, cottage cheese, fruit juice and mashed potatoes. (You can buy them pre-mashed, thank goodness. I'm sure I already knew that but it was nice to discover it again.) And of course they didn't have everything I needed at Waitrose so I wound up going to Tesco too.
 

I repotted our newest rescued houseplant, this little variegated rubber tree I found abandoned on the corner last week. See that black vessel in the foreground? That's what it came in, but it's a terrible pot -- no drainage hole, comically small, and the black chalky coloring rubs off on my hands. I put the tree in a bigger clay pot where it has room to grow, even though the last thing we need is another gigantic plant.

I spent the afternoon reading and trying to get food into Dave. I think he's experiencing some post-surgical depression. He has seemed very subdued, and said last night that he's struggling with feelings of mortality -- particularly after watching his roommate John slowly dying in the next bed. I told him that was perfectly understandable -- it was hard even for me to see John, and I was there only an hour or two each day. I think this will lift as Dave gets stronger and after he gets rid of "the tomato" (see previous post).

Also, we have Whitstable coming up next weekend, and I hope a holiday escape may do him some good -- even if it merely means resting there, with a view of the sea, rather than here.

I also paid a large chunk of our British taxes yesterday, so that's mostly off my shoulders. There's still a balance due but I can pay the rest in January. (For cash flow reasons I can't do it all now, and they're not due until Jan. 31.)


I bought a bottle of gin at Tesco and made an evening martini, which I badly needed after a hellish week. I was going to take this picture with Dave in his chair, but as it turned out he was up doing something at that moment and he wouldn't want to be photographed anyway. He never does.

Olga is saying, "Oh, Lord, the martinis have appeared. It's going to be a long night!"

But it wasn't. I only had one, while watching "Valley of the Dolls." Saturday night in West Hampstead! Sparkle, Neely, sparkle!

66 comments:

  1. I am sorry not to have left a comment for so long or posted on my blog. I have been very ill and now only feel more able to use a keyboard. But I have been reading and it helps to see me through. Today I posting similar on many favourite blogs I have read. From a hospital in France…

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    1. Thanks for the comment and I'm glad to see you back in the blogosphere!

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  2. Hello Steve, I have not followed all your recent posts so I am not entirely sure about Dave's health issues, but I am glad he is home and you're doing what you can to make him better. As you say, it sounds like a bout of post-surgery depression, not uncommon after a) full anaesthetics and b) the experience of witnessing a person slowly dying in the bed next to him.
    I know you have not asked for advice here, but I want to point out how big a role daylight plays in lifting spirits: Even just 10-15 minutes outdoors on an overcast day gives the human body more lux than an entire day spent indoors with all the lights on (unless you have a "daylight lamp" which emits a similar amount of lux and has the same wavelength as natural light). So, if Dave can walk or sit out in the garden for a while, wrapped in blankets, it may help his recovery.
    As for pre-mashed potatoes - I've never heard of them! I am certainly not a great or accomplished cook, but making mashed spuds is something even I can manage :-)

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    1. Meike, thanks so much for the daylight tip. Dave has basically been indoors for a week and a half, first in the hospital and then at home, so I'm sure he is suffering a deficit -- and we've had mostly cloudy skies on top of that. I will do my best to get him outside, but that can be difficult even when he's well! :)

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  3. Pre mashed potatoes..no...just no! Invest in a potato ricer if you have to...like a garlic press in theory but bigger!!
    It takes time to readjust to home..and Librarian is right.

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    1. I think we have a potato ricer but you are overestimating my cooking skills (and my cooking ambition).

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  4. Professional gardener? Hell - our garden is 50 metres in length and in 35 years we have never once had a professional gardener in, though we did once have tree surgeons in. It's good that you are getting a good rest as in the week ahead there'll be more work-work-work as the head librarian in her thigh length black leather boots cracks her Texan bullwhip.

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    1. We hired a pro to help us put it in order when we first moved in, and it was a good decision. We've got some fairly major issues that need to be addressed and I'm not very enthusiastic about doing it all myself. And Dave is not in a position to help as he normally would!

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  5. Pre-mashed potatoes? How culinary! When I was single, I always had a box of Potato Buds on hand. I think they might be pre-digested mashed potatoes. It’s normal to suffer from depression after surgery, and Dave has been through and awful week. Getting to know a young, dying roommate at the same time is tragic. I hope Dave comes back to himself quickly (and I hope he can start enjoying martinis again, too).

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    1. Are potato buds the same as potato flakes? I used to buy those too! They weren't bad in a pinch.

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    2. I think Potato Buds were made by Betty Crocker.

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  6. I can understand Dave's mood and thoughts or mortality; it's natural after a hospital stay, especially given his roommate. I agree that time away with new views and different surroundings should be good.
    Lastly, it looks like Olga has already had more martinis than she need!

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    1. Ha! Olga is in a perpetual state of bleariness, mostly from too much sleep.

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  7. I buy Idahoan Instant Mashed potatoes and have a pack in the cupboard for the occasional time when I fancy mash. They are just add water and stir and they taste brilliant and just as good as the real thing. I rarely buy potatoes and so it is ideal to have this in the cupboard for me. I am sure it is good and easy for you and Dave too. I hope his recovery continues a little faster and you are able to go to Whitstable.

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    1. Same! One week they were on sale & I bought about 9 packets - all different flavors!

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    2. I used to buy dried potatoes like that and I agree -- they tasted fine and were much easier than the real thing! The ones I bought this time around weren't dried, just pre-mashed. They came in a plastic bowl like a ready meal.

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    3. I have had those although I think I prefer the Idaho dry packs best. The fluff up well!

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  8. Poor Dave, what an ordeal he had. Add to this the dark midwinter and yet another large rescue plant cluttering the home, I feel for him.
    Seriously, give it time, relax and eat mashed potatoes.

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    1. This winter DOES seem darker than usual, doesn't it? We've had almost no sun for weeks.

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  9. I have never seen that movie and obviously, I need to. "Of course I take dolls! I gotta get some sleep!" I hear ya, baby.
    Sounds like Dave really is at a low spot and I can certainly see why. I am so sorry. I know what that feels like and it is a horrible place to be. As he gains strength, he'll most likely be back to his old self.

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    1. It's a "so-bad-it's-good" kind of movie. I would never call it fine cinema, except as an inadvertent parody of itself.

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  10. I'm not surprised Dave is feeling down. The short daylight hours on top of his recent health crises are enough to depress anyone. The trip away will help.

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    1. I think so too. We have waffled on whether to go but I think once he's there he will benefit from the change.

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  11. Just to be clear (and because it's so important--not!) pre-mashed potatoes are not the same as dehydrated instant mashed potatoes. Maybe it's better to call them prepared mashed--real potatoes that someone else has mashed/whipped for you and put in a little package you can heat in a microwave. There's a kind of let down period after surgery. You've made it, you're OK or soon going to be, you appreciate what everyone has done for you, but now that you have time to think about it, the seriousness and yes, the mortality, sinks in. For me, it took the form of thinking over and over about that last second of awareness as I obediently breathed inside the mask just placed over my face. Then, nothing. No dreams, just nothing, until I woke up after. Is that what my actual last moment will be like?

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    1. Yes! We are talking here about pre-mashed but not dehydrated potatoes. These were sold in a plastic bowl, ready to pop in the microwave. I realize it's culinary heresy but I am not motivated to mash my own potatoes.

      I expect many of our last moments will be a lot like that. But the idea of oblivion is kind of comforting, in a way.

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  12. I hope Dave will feel better as he rests and relaxes at home. That trip to the sea will be good for both of you and Olga, too. I'm sure you are all exhausted from the stress of Dave's hospital stay. Take care of each other! xo

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    1. That and work, too. We have had a stressful couple of weeks and I am so looking forward to this trip!

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  13. I understand Dave pondering his mortality and I'm sure it didn't help that the surgery had to be done twice. when my sister died suddenly and unexpectedly it freaked me out in the same way. did I only have three more years? both my parents died in their 70s, my father at 73, my mother at 78, and now my sister at 76. I'm 74.

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    1. Yeah, I understand that. My dad's father died when he was 59, and my father was always fixated on his own mortality after that.

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  14. I like the big plants but they do overwhelm a place. They are too large even for a classroom or library.

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    1. We are finally hitting a point at which even I would say we have too many. LOL

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  15. Hellebores, martinis, Valley of the Dolls! So fun. Hoping for the best for Dave, it's hard to convalesce.

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  16. Yes, being around someone who is dying has to be depressing especially when you are recovering yourself. I'm sure he'll cheer up as the healing progresses. I hope your Sunday is even more relaxing.

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    1. Yes, I have no doubt he'll get better as he feels stronger.

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  17. You might not get paid for your services, but I would put you on par with a professional gardener any day of the week.

    I hope a change of scenery will give you both the boost you need.

    Look at all the olives!! 🫒

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    1. I don't quite trust myself to prune certain plants, especially when they badly need it. I don't want to shock or kill them, since they're not really mine. I'd rather hire someone and avoid blame!

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    2. Oh, and yes, five olives is the appropriate number for a martini. :)

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  18. I do hope Dave's malaise will improve quickly. He's had quite the assault to his body, and it takes awhile to bounce back. Will there be sun where you're going?

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    1. Sun is always a gamble at this time of year. There probably won't be a whole lot of sun, but you never know!

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  19. It's a bad time of year for a lot of folks and add to it surgery and close proximity to someone so close to death... Hopefully the sea and then eventually the sun will help Dave heal in all the ways.

    As I mentioned above we use the potato flakes which are delicious (add enough butter to anything & it's always delicious). Sometimes we get Bob Evans's mashed potato sides - my favorite is the cheesy one.

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    1. Butter is definitely the key! I added butter to these pre-mashed potatoes as well. (And salt!)

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  20. You Just Gotta Frame That Olga Girl Photo !! Ya Gotta

    Cheers

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    1. I have so many frameable Olga photos. She's a very frameable dog. LOL

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  21. When I was young I thought VALLEY OF THE DOLLS WAS ABOUT DOLLIES AND I COULD NOT WAIT TO SEE IT- IMAGINE MY DISAPPOINTMENT! Oops caps lock, sorry...Welcome home Dave and yes indeed after surgery there will be depression- severe depression. I am not sure why they do not warn about that. Anti depression tablets may be useful for a spell. Takes the edge off. If Olga can not bring Dave back from the edge tablets might.

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    1. Ha! I also used to think "Valley of the Dolls" was about dolls. I guess it's a natural conclusion for a kid! It is interesting that no one ever mentioned post-surgical depression as a possible aftereffect.

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  22. Surely you can peel, dice, boil, and mash potatoes! 🥔 A potato masher, butter or sour cream, a bit of milk, salt and pepper ... and dig in! Dave can give you verbal directions!🤦 Potato flakes ... I'm surprised Dave, a chef, would allow them in the house! 🤮
    You can make everything a "soft food" if you have a food processor or a blender!

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    1. I'm sure I COULD mash my own potatoes -- I've done it before -- but the question is, do I WANT to? And the answer is no. For the record, these weren't dried potato flakes, though I don't mind those either. These were simply pre-mashed potatoes, sold in a plastic tub.

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  23. I think some post-surgical depression would be normal anyway--then with a dying roommate, even more so. I would love to have a professional come in and trim everything up; it seems like it would be easier to maintain after that!

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    1. Exactly. It would be nice to get the garden back to a sort of well-maintained starting point, if that makes sense!

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  24. I remember enjoying the Valley of the Dolls book more than the film. Dave will feel a lot more normal without the drain.

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    1. Oh, the book is much better. The film is dreadful by any cinematic standard but it's a camp classic. I bet I've seen it 30 times.

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  25. Ah, Neeley! I remember sneaking a read of that book (which my mother hid!) I think you're probably right about the post-surgical depression and who wouldn't be after double duty on the table and a terminal roommate. I'm glad you two will be getting away soon; it's sorely needed. I hope the trip won't be too tough on Dave. It feels like a long way. Olga looks like she didn't want to be photographed either. (You deserve that martini!)

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    1. By the time I read "Valley of the Dolls" in the '80s I was perplexed at why there was so much scandal. Maybe I ought to read it again. I still have a copy!

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  26. Two surgeries back to back, is hard on a body and a mind. I'm guessing you two don't have much experience with young people dying either, so there's that. Hopefully he's feeling better soon.

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    1. Yeah, this is not something either of us routinely see! I only belatedly found out that while Dave had an epidural for the first surgery, he had conventional anesthesia for the second -- and that can really knock a person for a loop.

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  27. Feeling a bit down after a surgery is hard. Add a second surgery and a patient dying in the next bed and that is a lot to contend with.
    Getting away for a holiday seems like a very good idea.

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    1. Yeah, I think so too. A change of scenery and time to rest and watch the ocean. Sounds ideal!

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  28. Looks to me like you'd better get an olive tree! 😉

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    1. Ha! I am a dedicated olive lover. None of those lemon twists for me.

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  29. I think that would be a difficult thing to watch from your own sickbed. Just as bad, I'm trying to imagine how awful it would be trying to have quality time with a dying loved one in the middle of a ward. It just seems as if there would be some allowances made for a dying person to have some amount of privacy to make the most of those last precious moments.

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    1. I agree. I am surprised the hospital had John in with all the rest of the patients. There are private rooms and he seems entitled to one -- but maybe they thought being around other people would help him maintain a better outlook. Who knows.

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  30. Pre-mashed potatoes?? Lordy lordy, what next. I like the little blue jars on that windowsill.
    I remember Valley of The Dolls, but preferred the book over the movie.

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    1. Ha! I love that everyone is so appalled by pre-mashed potatoes. The book version of "Valley" is MUCH better than the movie. In fact I read somewhere that Jacqueline Susann was quite peeved about the movie when it came out. It was a critical dog but it made money.

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  31. I find myself thinking about my mortality more these days. Like many I suppose, I wish I had savored my youth more than I did.

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