Saturday, March 25, 2023

Chicken Surprise


Remember when I said in my previous post that we didn't get torrential rains? Well, I take it back. They came yesterday afternoon, as this rather haphazard photo (taken clumsily under my red umbrella during my walk home from work) hopefully shows. We even had hail! I was still at work at that point and it began clattering down on the windows and freaked us all out. It was only pea-sized but it was loud.

All I could think was, "Our poor garden." But it seems fine.


Here's what Olga thought of it all. (OK, I actually took this picture several days ago but I'm sure this accurately reflects her reaction to hail.)

In the library where I work, we have a no-food rule. My ears are specially trained to hear the rustle of a crisp packet at 400 paces, and yesterday, as some 9th Grade boys sat clustered together in a corner, I kept hearing that telltale rustling. So I walked back there and found a kid with a half-eaten sandwich in his hand and crumbs lying like beach sand all over his keyboard. (He insisted he hadn't been eating the sandwich but merely pulled it out of his bag in order to get to a book, which I don't believe for a second.) After a scolding, and while he discarded the sandwich, I took his computer to the vacuum cleaner and tidied it up, which was a first in my career -- having to vacuum a student's computer.

I didn't do it to be nice. I did it so he wouldn't blow the crumbs onto the carpet.


Here's a bizarre and useless feature I found on my iPhone. I can make a video of myself making faces as a chicken! (Or as a cat, panda bear, robot, octopus and about 30 other creatures or objects, animate and inanimate.) Apparently the camera reads my facial expressions and changes the creature's features to match. This particular video is silent, but if I wanted to I could even record myself as a talking chicken.

I suppose that's a fun way to tell someone, "Hey, I'll be late for our meeting."

Ah, the wonders of technology.

27 comments:

Andrew said...

I like the things you slip into a blog post, even though they can be hard to comment on.

Does anyone really know what their phone can do? I certainly don't. Are you happy with the new phone?

sparklingmerlot said...

Remember when a phone was used to *shudder* make calls?

Vacuuming a student's computer. We know you are a softie. The crumbs on the carpet was an excuse to save face!

Moving with Mitchell said...

You do make an adorable chicken. And, yes, the wonders of technology. How have we lived without this feature?

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Dear Mr Reed,

Our son Herman Scwarzburger came home from school in tears yesterday. He was clearly traumatised by the ordeal you put him through in the school library. He has explained exactly what occurred - including how you scolded him mercilessly in front of his peers. Herman has a rare pre-diabetic condition which necessitates regular snacking to maintain his sugar levels. He tried to show you the explanatory medical card he always carries about his person but apparently you brushed it aside in a fit of pique. I demand a formal apology in writing and will be contacting the school's principal in due course.

Yours justifiably,

Wayne Scwarzburger III

Ed said...

I consider myself a pretty neat eater and a tidy person in general but occasionally, I'll tip my keyboard over on my office desk and will be flabbergasted at how much debris it holds.

Bob said...

I feel like Olga seems to feel on a blustery day.

I hope my phone doesn't try to chicken-ize me.

Boud said...

As long as you don't zoom accidentally with a chicken face like the lawyer pleading before a judge, who couldn't remove the cat his computer savvy kid had put up, and had to go through with it!

ellen abbott said...

caught red handed at a youth group retreat my teenage daughter tried to get out of it by saying she wasn't smoking, she was just hanging out with the kids who were smoking. yeah, sure.

there is so much useless stuff, to me, that came on my new iPhone that I will never use or even open the app like GarageBand and Freeform and Stocks and Keynote. I'd like to kick that stuff up into the cloud and get the icons off my screen.

Marcia LaRue said...

Why did the kid have to discard the rest of his sandwich? Couldn't he just put it back in his bag so he could finish it later or at his lunch break?

Ms. Moon said...

I was just talking to the kids yesterday about how so many of the things we own now can do things that we don't even begin to know. Our phones for instance. Their new electric car, as another example.
What in hell would we need a chicken avatar for?
I'm with Ellen and would love to just take some of this crap off my iPhone.

Beth Reed said...

Busted!!!
That teenage boy and his crumbs had me grinning ear to ear thinking that he actually said he wasn't eating the sandwich. I have never known of a teenage boy who was always hungry not eating whatever he could get his hands on to choose a book over a snack lol.

We had the same kind of drizzle you had a few days ago, but I woke up this morning to the news that a large and deadly tornado ripped through Mississippi. So sad of the deaths.
A tell-tale sign that Spring is here. Hot and cold air colliding is dangerous, and my thoughts are with the families as they start to pick up the pieces of their lives.

I'm sorry sweet Olga was home alone during the storm. Is hail uncommon in London? We had hail during January when a massive ice storm hit us. We also had sleet, actually a lot of sleet, but the hail was tiny and didn't last too long where I was, but here at home a lot of damage was done to cars out in our parking lot.

Yes the iPhone has a lot of quirky little activities to keep one busy, lol. That video is too cute.
Have a great weekend.

Ellen D. said...

I'm torn between letting the students snack in the library so they feel welcome to hang out in the library - or no snacks in the library that will end up as smudges on the books... Hmmm.
Technology is wasted on chicken face apps - can't we cure something important or save the planet?

NewRobin13 said...

I don't know why it surprises me that a kid brought a sandwich into the library, but it does. Saying he wasn't eating it might be pretty much standard kid behavior.
That chicken face feature is adorable. I may look for that feature on our iPhone.

Red said...

That kid is fantastic. He came up with an alibi in a heartbeat.

Linda Sue said...

Strict Librarians are remembered forever. Shame that he had to dump his sandwich but rules are rules for a reason right?
I would do just as well with a flip phone. The potential of my Iphone is lost on me.
Olga girl! Such a cutie, she is.

Debby said...

William is a connoisseur of useless features. He finds them all hilarious and can't wait to show us these wonders of technology. We look at them and at him and we do wonder, that's for sure.

Sharon said...

Love that chicken feature. I guess I need to check out a new phone. My friends are in Japan right now and they started sending photos that had been manipulated from their phones and I know they have the brand new iPhone too. She said in one of her texts that someone on the tour with them showed her how to do it.

John Going Gently said...

I had a real chicken who could pull:a face

Margaret said...

That chicken looks nothing like you, Steve! Oh, how I hated policing kids eating in my classroom. They would leave so many messes but claim they didn't. Argghh.

Kelly said...

I admire your honesty, Steve. I don't think any of us would have known that wasn't Olga's actually reaction. ๐Ÿ˜‰
We had torrential rain yesterday, too, but at least no severe weather. And yes, even the tiniest hail is LOUD!

jenny_o said...

If nothing else, perhaps knowing your chicken self made me smile for the first time today might make you feel it was worth doing. It has been a stressful few days here and I thank you for the smile. Love the Olga photo!

Marty said...

I just realized I had completely opposite reactions to the creature feature on your phone:
My first thought was Whoa! Cool!
My second was Geesh! ANOTHER way to simply waste time.

James and Brigitta said...

We woke up to snow, had a lovely sunny afternoon and just got hammered by hail. You think it's loud in a house, imagine what that sounds in an RV! That chicken could be creepy if it wasn't so cute!

Allison said...

I love the chicken face! Good on you for nabbing the eating in the library kid.

Steve Reed said...

Andrew: Yes, I'm happy with it. I love the better camera. It's kind of fun figuring out all the different things the phone can do!

Caro: Yeah, who EVER talks on the phone anymore?

Mitchell: Talk about things I didn't know I needed -- a chicken avatar!

YP: Dear Mr. Scwarzburger, Your son Herman is perfectly free to eat to his heart's content. All he has to do is step outside the library first. Yours sincerely, Mr. Reed

Ed: Keyboards are notoriously filthy! I never turn mine upside down for just that reason. :)

Bob: I think you have to ask it to do that. It won't do it by itself!

Boud: Oh yeah! I bet this was the feature that guy was using. Funny!

Ellen: Did your daughter ever confess? It can be fun to revisit those moments when kids are grown and no longer feel a need to lie!

Marcia: Oh, I didn't make him discard it. He chose to. I think he'd already eaten lunch. This was a surplus sandwich!

Ms Moon: I thought you of all people might go for the chicken avatar! LOL

Beth: I heard about the tornadoes. Terrible! Hail is uncommon here but we do get it a couple of times a year.

Ellen D: We've been having that debate as long as I've worked there. So far the consensus is it would create too much of a mess. The kids are terrible at cleaning up after themselves and I don't want to become a busboy.

Robin: What's funny is, we have signs everywhere reminding them not to eat!

Red: It was almost immediate, not that I believed it!

Linda Sue: I gotta admit it's handy if I need something online while I'm out and about. But I don't use my phone for much more than texting, photography and the occasional Internet consultation. I don't use Apple Pay, for example.

Debby: Well, they ARE pretty amusing, if bizarre!

Sharon: Ha! Well, bravo to them for enjoying their new phone in whatever way they can. :)

John: I wouldn't think chickens could be very expressive, given that they have such inflexible beaks. (Unlike the cartoon chicken.)

Margaret: Well, that's comforting! LOL

Kelly: Hey, I'm a journalist. :)

Jenny-O: Well, I'm glad it worked, then. :)

Marty: Oh, yeah, there's definitely time-wasting potential here!

James and Brigitta: Oh man, I bet it's REALLY loud in an RV. I can't even imagine!

Allison: I joke with them about how good my hearing is, but it doesn't seem to stop them. (Maybe I'm really NOT hearing all the eating going on out there? Hmmmm...)

Jeanie said...

You're right -- a useless app -- but something fun to do.

Ah yes, the crisp packet in the library. Well done, I think ears are your super power!

The Padre said...

What A Fantastic Photo There Of Olga Girl - So Dig That Look - Cracks Us All Up - Be Well Brother

Cheers