I haven't taken many pictures on this trip, obviously, having other things on my mind. But here are a few shots that I've managed to get so far. Above is from the window of my plane on Saturday morning, flying over the coastline of southern Georgia. That's Jekyll Island in the foreground, with the city of Brunswick behind it and to the right.
And this is the weather we got yesterday. Madness! I always forget how drenching a pounding Florida summer rain can be. Fortunately we didn't have to go anywhere so we were tucked indoors watching it from the window.
My brother has been working on my Mom's finances. We have to talk to her financial advisers and make life insurance claims and that kind of thing. There are boxes and boxes of paperwork. He's much more informed about all of that since he has power of attorney and has been dealing for years with her investments. I can make phone calls, obviously, but most of this work is inevitably going to fall to him as her executor.
Anyway, on Saturday we finalized all the immediate arrangements with the funeral home and ordered the death certificates, and I've placed an obituary in the Tampa paper which ought to run sometime this week.
When we're not dealing with official business, we're looking at pictures and talking about memories. Or I'm watching documentaries about sharks with my younger niece. Or I'm playing tug-of-war with Snoop, the family dog, who is very growly. Just look at him wrong, and he growls. He's playing (mostly) but it can be a little intimidating, especially when he bares his teeth.
Last night we went out to dinner at a local deli and my niece mentioned a mural of Bill Murray in the Murray Hill neighborhood. I said, "I have to see that!" So we went for a drive to the western part of the city, across the river from where my brother lives, and took in the mural...
...as well as a nearby chameleon. It's a cute part of town and it was nice to get out a bit.
I slept all the way through last night, from about 9:30 p.m. to 6 a.m., which felt fantastic. And I woke to the news that Dave is back in London with Olga after his Seattle trip. He sent a cute photo of her licking his face. I know she's glad to have one of her people back.
23 comments:
Death is a lot of work. When people most want to grieve, they have to make phone calls and fill out paperwork. You were very close to my house. I live in Murray Hill. The weather has been terrible for weeks with a storm almost every day and intense heat. Yesterday was the first day in a while without a heat advisory. I wish the weather were more pleasant, but it's summer in Florida. I've always wondered why DisneyWorld was built here. I'm sure you're relieved that Dave is home with Olga.
Love,
Janie
So glad you are together there with your brother and his family. Just what your Mom would have wanted.
It's great that your brother will be doing all the donkey work with regard to tying up your mother's financial affairs. I bet he is better with numbers than you are. It must be nice to spend time with him and his family as you share similar feelings of loss. Nobody knew your mother Jane as well as you two did. As a single parent, it sounds like she fought hard to give her sons the best start in life she could possibly manage.
Yes, this is the time of paperwork. Your brother sounds as if he's on top of it. But it's very hard to have to deal with officialdom right now.
I missed the last post and was so sorry to hear that your Mum had died. As you know I lost Tom in January and it takes a lot to come to terms with loss of a loved one. We have to look back at the good times and accept that it comes to all of us in time but that doesn't make it any easier to cope with.
Lots and lots of love to you Steve.
Briony
x
Oh gosh. I remember the utmost importance of those Death Certificates. You have to show them to everyone for legal purposes.
Did you enjoy the rainstorm? We had one yesterday that was violent with thunder and lightning.
How are you doing, Steve? I know you must miss Dave and Olga right now and they surely miss you too. But you are doing the exact thing you should be now. It's hard, though.
I love the two murals.
I forgot how much paperwork is involved. It's good that your brother knows how to handle it all. I bet your are relieved to know that Dave is home.
It's good for you to have family time.
Good murals !
There is so much paperwork after the death of a dearly loved one. It surprised me how much needs to be read and signed, read and signed.
It was good that you could get out for a drive and see the murals. A nice balance to all else going on. Also good that Dave is home and Olga is happy to have one of her people back.
I remember going through all the arrangements when my mother died. mostly big sister did it all because that's who she is, as the oldest takes on all the responsibility. I don't argue with her. no financial things to deal with though as what little she had had to be dispersed before she was moved to the family home where she lived til she died. are you an orphan now? that was the weirdest thing for me.
I like the mural of the gecko and that's a great shot out your plane window.
That rainy blow up pool picture seems to capture somehow the week you're in. I remember when my mom died, I felt orphaned. Sending you love, dear friend. May all be well with her sendoff. I know you and your brother will do your mom proud.
I'm glad there's play along with the work. I like both murals, but especially the chameleon!
Also glad Dave is back home with Olga.
I'm glad you are there with your brother. I hope the memories you share sustain you both at this sad and difficult time. Everything I have read here about your mother convinces me she was a lovely person, and a good mother.
I helped my grandma after grandpa died so I am pretty familiar with her assets when that time comes. However, I'm not looking forward to when my father dies. I am overwhelmed just thinking of all the work that will be needed to settle his complicated estate. I hope that I won't have to worry about that for a long time yet.
I'm glad that you are getting to spend time with your brother. Close family really helps in times like what you are currently experiencing.
So good your brother and you have each other to sort through the tangle of the estate and all the details that go with it.
I enjoyed your previous post about your mother. It's so difficult to sum up a lifetime's relationship, but you did a masterful job.
That Florida rain is classic. I love rain is like that… because it’s so rare for us. Warms my heart to imagine Dave getting those kisses from Olga. Good luck with the organizing. So great your brother is on top of that. It tends to be a one-person job.
I am so happy for you that you have your brother to help/do the paperwork. I never have had to do that. Each parent had a spouse when they died, so they did it. Nice picture of the swimming pool in the rain.
There is so much to do! I was/am the personal representative of my step-grandma's estate and I finally closed it after 2 1/2 years. Now I may have to re-open it due to a forgotten life insurance policy. Ugh. Glad you're enjoying some of the time there with family; I love the murals! It's raining here a little in the Seattle area so it was a good time for Dave to leave. :)
I'm glad you and your brother can share the memories (and the work, as possible) and have a pleasant time heading out to places. It's hard, tedious work sometimes. SO glad Dave is back with Olga and hope you are too, soon.
I have been an executor for my aunt who lived in San Francisco and had to do most of the work from Phoenix, where we lived at the time. Fortunately I found a do-it-yourself book especially written for California so everything went very well. In fact one conversation I had with some legal office in Cal, the woman asked me if I was a lawyer. When I responded that I wasn't and asked why she had asked, she told me that my paperwork was among the best they'd ever seen!
Enjoy that Florida rain, it may help with the bruising heat.
Paperwork seems unnecessarily cruel during bereavement. Your moral support for your brother is important when he will be doing the bigger share of all that stuff. I'm glad you and your brother can re-visit memories together. It's a vital part of mourning, both alone and with others who knew your mom. The traditions surrounding death really do serve a purpose for those left behind. It's sure to be a draining week so do what you all must to build/maintain strength emotionally.
My deepest condolences Steve.
Xoxo
Barbara
Life goes on after a loss. There is much business to be done for an estate. Your bother seems to have it organized.
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