Monday, July 11, 2022

The Bird Bomb


In a few more days, barring any mishaps, this will be a golden dahlia. It's the "Souvenir d'Ete" variety I bought last summer. Even the bud is beautiful!

Dave came back yesterday around lunchtime from his adventures in Norfolk. It sounds like he had a good time, but he said he was overdressed. Apparently he wore a suit, because the christening was essentially a church service, but it all turned out to be very informal and the baby's father was even there in shorts. Oh well.

I had a pretty quiet day around the house, mostly reading. I still feel a little knocked-down by my recent stomach flu (or whatever it was). Speaking of which, I ate my lunch yesterday on our garden bench, beneath our Japanese maple, and just as I was finishing a bird crapped on my plate! I didn't quite see it happen but I heard it land, and thank goodness I did. Obviously I threw out the remainder of my food. That's yet another possible source of my illness that I never even considered -- I eat on that bench all the time!

I guess I can't get too paranoid about this -- germs are out there and I want to enjoy the garden. But bleah.

I did tell Dave that I can't bring myself to eat any of the leftovers from that dinner on Thursday -- mainly the cheeses we served on the charcuterie plate as a first course. I'm sure it's all fine given that Dave and our friend Warren ate it and had no reaction, and it's rare for me to waste food, but I just can't do it.

We had lots of butterflies in the garden yesterday, fluttering around in the warm and sunny afternoon. I saw a red admiral, several whites and at least one more comma:



Our buddleia bushes are blooming like crazy and the butterflies and bees are like iron filings to a magnet.

I can tell that Olga is relieved to have Dave home. She is normally a very heavy sleeper, snoring loudly, and I didn't hear that deep snore the entire time he was gone. I think she was half-awake waiting for his return. Now she's lying next to me sawing wood as usual, and I'm reminded of John Gray's recent post about sleeping dogs -- how they sleep when their pack is together and they feel safe. She's glad to have us all in one place.

Last night Dave and I watched a terrific documentary on Netflix, "Some Kind of Heaven," about The Villages, a city of retirees built in Central Florida. The Villages didn't exist when I was a kid -- it was all pastures, forests and swamps -- but it has ballooned to a massive development in the past 30-plus years. The documentary focuses on some eccentric residents and definitely illustrates that retirement has its ups and downs just like any other stage of life.

And speaking of that, I got sobering news yesterday from my brother. He said my mom will be moving to nursing care and not back to her apartment in memory care. She apparently hasn't bounced back from her recent flu and hospitalization and can't really do things on her own. So of course I'm wondering yet again whether I should get myself to Florida this summer, and given my mom's dementia, whether there's even any point. Maybe I could make a side trip on the way to or from Michigan, though that's quite a diversion. We shall see.

24 comments:

Moving with Mitchell said...

So sorry about the news about your mother. I know that’s something that’s been hovering for a while. Tough being so far away.

Your garden is a paradise for the birds and the bees. I’d eat under an umbrella.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Congratulations to the pigeon, crow or whatever if was for the direct (s)hit upon your plate. Fifty points! That bird could be an Olympian.

Very sorry to learn that your mother's connection with the world has become even more blurred.

Anonymous said...

My opinion is the rest were underdressed and Dave wore the correct attire.
Do you call the white butterflies Cabbage Moths as we do? Maybe they are different but they look the same and flutter the same way.
Sorry to hear about your mother.

Boud said...

Sorry to hear about your mom. But glad you're doing better. Your garden sounds so great, I'm envying you the butterflies! Do you get hummingbirds?

Ed said...

My grandparents lived for 25 years in one of those retirement villages in central Florida. If it wasn't for all the traffic, and the remnants of hurricanes blowing over, they seemed like a nice place to spend time with all their various amenities. But I suppose like any communal living, it got snarky at times as they battled each other for dominance just like in any animal kingdom.

Rachel Phillips said...

Thanks for the Netflix tip. I will watch it. The Girl in the Picture is very good if you haven't already seen it. I recommend it highly.

Bob said...

They say if a bird craps on YOU it's lucky, so I wonder what it means about your lunch?
I think retirement communities are the high schools for the elderly; cliques and bullies.

37paddington said...

Sorry to hear your mom is struggling right now but it's good she's in a place where she can get the help and support she needs. I say swing by Florida if you can. But if you can't, don't beat yourself up about it. You are a good son.

ellen abbott said...

Sorry to hear about your mom's continued decline. End times.

That dahlia bud is pretty. I saw a painted lady the other day, a rarity, but she wouldn't cooperate for me to get a picture and then flew away.

The Bug said...

I always blame the last thing I ate when I have a stomach bug, so I don't blame you for not wanting to eat the cheese! Also, it feels like you would have noticed bird poop on your food? But maybe not. So ewww!

Sorry about your mom. I guess I would recommend doing what helps YOU in this situation since she's not really going to know.

NewRobin13 said...

I can't imagine a bird pooping on my plate of food. Ugh. That reminds me of why I hate when flies come into the house and fly around our food and plates. They've been on lots of dog poop and things before they ever made it into our house. Ugh.
Really sorry to hear about your mom's decline. I hope the next move for her is comfortable and safe in every way. Good care is the best.
Lovely photos.

Sharon said...

So sorry to hear about your mother. That is such a difficult thing to deal with especially when you are so far away. It's hard to decide what to do.
That flower bud is gorgeous and so are the butterflies. But that lunch time mishap might have put me off eating the rest of the day.

Jeanie said...

I'm so sorry about your mom, Steve. It's probably a lot easier to divert from Michigan than to go home and cross the pond again to visit -- and sometimes sooner is better. This I know from the past.

Love the bloom and glad Olga is back to sawing again! (Better overdressed than underdressed!) And at least it landed on your plate and not you -- that's insult to injury!

Red said...

I didn't read very carefully and read it as a bird crapped on my pate! I don't know which one would be worse.

Marcia LaRue said...

So sorry about your mom ... let your brother keep you updated on what's going on with her and then decide what you can, or want, to do.
I have a high school friend who does live in The Villages and her and her husband love it there! It is an entire community within a community and they have everything they need, rarely having to go outside their insular area for anything!
Glad you are feeling better!

Kelly said...

That's hilarious about the bird crap! I don't blame you about not wanting to eat the leftovers. One of my kids had an incident with Subway food and didn't go back there for years.

The bud is gorgeous and I trust you'll share the bloom with us soon. I'm sorry about your mother. When or whether to go see her is a decision only you can make. Even then, try not to second guess yourself.

gz said...

Sad to hear about your mum.
It is difficult living so far away..I know how I felt when my dad had to go in a hospice and I was hours away and no chance of time off to see him.

Linda Sue said...

The trip back to see your used to be mom would be for you and your brother I reckon.
The bud up top looks like a dragon egg.
Glad that you a feeling more human now, Glad that you did not eat bird poo, too.

Allison said...

Glad you are better.
Would you be a comfort to your brother if you went? My mother did not know me for the last year or so of her life. My father was there so I went to keep him company.

Margaret said...

I don't blame you for not wanting to touch the left overs--ugh. Why take the chance? That's sweet about Olga not being able to relax without Dave home.

Ellen D. said...

Glad you are getting better and hope you are over whatever you had! Don't eat that cheese!
Sorry about your Mom. You have been a good, loving son and you need to remember all of the good memories and happy times you have had together. If you get a chance to visit, go for it; but if it doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up. Whatever happens next for your Mom will happen anyway and you know she is getting good care.
Wishing you peace, Steve!

jenny_o said...

The dahlia bud is lovely; I hope you post a photo when it gets fuller too.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother's decline. The path may become clearer by the time you have to decide. I second what another reader asked: would it benefit not just your mom, and not just you, but also your brother, if you visited? When you can't relieve the primary carer's burden, solidarity with them can be the next best thing - at least that's how I feel. But everyone is different.

James and Brigitta said...

No matter what you decide your mom will most likely not be aware of it anymore. You and your brother are making sure she gets the best care and that's probably the only thing you can do for her anymore. ..
Your latest pictures of the flies and flowers are just delightful!

Steve Reed said...

Mitchell: Oh, an umbrella! I hadn't thought of that!

YP: It was a bit like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar making a swish shot.

Andrew: We call them cabbage whites, but there are also other white or whitish butterflies, so it's all very complicated!

Boud: We don't have wild hummingbirds here in the UK. I have seen a hummingbird moth, though!

Ed: I'm sure it's like a condo association or co-op board. Lots of internal politics!

Rachel: That show is in my Netflix queue but we haven't seen it yet! Thanks for the recommendation -- I'll be sure to watch it now.

Bob: I'd say that's a clear case of making lemonade from lemons! LOL

37P: We'll see how it goes. I'm hesitant to take on more travel partly because the whole industry is in such a mess right now. We're already planning to go back at Christmas so I might just wait for then unless things become dire.

Ellen: I never saw painted ladies in Florida. I wonder what their range is in North America? I should look it up.

Bug: The thing is, I'm going to feel guilty no matter what. I could go tomorrow and stay for a week and I'd still feel like I didn't do enough.

Robin: She really does have good care, which is such a relief.

Sharon: Ha! Well, thank goodness I noticed it!

Jeanie: I don't know -- it might be easier to just fly across the ocean again when necessary. Otherwise I have to change a simple return ticket into something much more complicated (and likely to get fouled up given current travel conditions).

Red: Ha! Yeah, both pretty bad.

Marcia: My aunt lives in The Villages, so yeah, I'm familiar with it. The movie makes the point that people there never have to leave.

Kelly: At this point I'm leaning toward sticking to my original plan -- visiting at Christmas. Here's hoping that works out.

GZ: Before moving here, I always figured I could just hop on a plane if and when my parents got ill -- but what I didn't fully realize is that illnesses develop and change over a long period of time and I can't KEEP hopping on a plane at every turn.

Linda Sue: Dragon egg! I love that description.

Allison: Yes, if my brother needed me I'd go back in a heartbeat. He hasn't said so, but we'll see if that changes.

Margaret: It was very interesting to see her response. Dogs are aware of so much.

Ellen D: Thanks so much for those words. That's sort of how I feel too. I don't think my presence would help anyone at this point.

Jenny-O: If I could be of benefit to my brother I would certainly go. He seems to be managing things just fine so far.

James and Brigitta: And actually, my mom gets credit for planning her own care years ago. She got long-term care insurance and chose a place to live that provides assisted living and nursing as abilities change; she really thought ahead and that saved us both a huge amount of trouble.