Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Earthworm Chili


A more manageable day at work yesterday. I only re-shelved about 120 books!

I got an e-mail from a mother who asked if we clean our books before returning them to the shelves. I assumed she was talking about coronavirus, so I explained our quarantine process. She then sent me pictures of a book her son had checked out, with three or four crumbs trapped between some of the pages.

"The book was filled with food stains and other particles. Stuff falling out as you turn the pages," she wrote. "So I wanted to bring it to your attention."

I was tempted to tell her to shake it out over some bread and make a sandwich. Instead, I cheerfully replied that obviously someone had been eating while they read, which we discourage -- ha ha -- and explained that we circulate so many books we can't possibly page through each one.

The risks of using a library, people. Particularly a school library.

Speaking of gross food, Dave made chili the other night. He thought he'd try a vegetarian version, so he used a popular meat substitute that comes in minced form. He was not happy with the results. The protein is softer than meat so the texture was slightly different -- he called it "earthworm chili." He didn't eat more than a few spoonfuls, but I ate mine and I suppose the leftovers will be my responsibility too.

He says the funniest things sometimes. The other day Olga came up to his recliner and wanted to jump on his lap (as she often does), but she stood and hesitated. He told her, "Well don't write a book about it, let's go!" The idea of Olga writing a book made me laugh. It would be very short.


Here's Olga lying on top of her Kong toy on the couch -- you can barely see it between her front legs. She slept like this for an hour or more yesterday afternoon, and it wasn't the first time. Dave thinks lying on that toy must be uncomfortable, but she doesn't seem to mind. She's very protective of it!

(Top photo: The forsythia on our patio, which is in need of some tidying.)

58 comments:

David said...

As a lifelong vegetarian, I was interested in the chili dish Dave made. (The recipe will be posted next?) We get the meat substitute that you referenced (without giving any free advertising) here in Australia, imported from the UK. I tried it once when it was on sale at half-price at our supermarket. (It is quite expensive normally). I didn't like it and have never bought it again. The taste was too earthy for me. (It is made from some variety of fungus). I don't fuss over the consistency because I don't know what consistency meat is, having never eaten or cooked with the stuff. Fortunately there is a huge range of other "meat substitutes" available now, although I rarely buy them - I am quite happy on the unprocessed vegetables and protein foods like lentils, chick peas and beans etc that I prefer anyway. But I loved Dave's description of it as "earthworm chili" - it conjures up all kinds of images of slithery, slimy stuff. Although, I would have thought spaghetti would qualify better for the earthworm epithet!

Frances said...

I had a vision of you and a pile of hundreds of books......leafing through every page in case there was a crumb!!

Susan said...

I have used meat substitutes with varying degrees of success, but have never achieved earthworm consistency, thank god. I love pictures of Olga. She is so photogenic!

Yorkshire Pudding said...

"The Squirrel Hunter" by Olga Reed

One memorable day, I killed a squirrel on Hampstead Heath. I was with my master who would often laugh at my squirrel chasing antics but he wasn't laughing that day. I caught that little sucker, clasping it in my jaws like a rag doll and chowed down. It emitted a little yelp of agony and then its furry body flopped. Victory! - at long last. It was the best day of my life.

The day began normally, I...

gz said...

I have never got on well with pretend meat! There are so many other things that can be added to a curry that are actually interesting and tasty!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry if this is cryptic but J F G, you are supposed to check each page for crumbs!

Did Dave use textured vegetable protein? Tricky. Ok, maybe Quorn is the same thing.

Olga looks so comfortable.

John Going Gently said...

Your comments about Dave , rather moved me

Bob said...

The way we talk to our pets always makes me laugh.

As for the crumb monitor, I might have said, "Oops.my bad, I was eating while shelving."

The Padre said...

Only In America Would Someone Fill A Book With A Food Substance - Olga Girl Could Write A Descriptive Novel, Right After A Nap - Happy St Patties Brother Reed

Cheers

Vivian Swift said...

Nothing cryptic about J F C. Really, some people...

My husband also loves fake meat. I buy it for him at Whole Foods, but I rarely eat it because I suspect there are mushrooms in it and I cannot abide mushrooms. However, if I had to choose between mushrooms, tofu, and earthworms, I think I'd give the earthworms a try.

Ursula said...

The woman does have a point. If only may be for you, the librarian, and teachers of same school to remind your flock that they are SHARING those books with other kids. So a bit of consideration for others goes a long way. What you do with a book which sits only on your shelf is your own affair. Just don't lend it to me.

I reserve a moderate amount of resentment for people (adults) who borrow from a public library, then deface the book by a) turning the top right hand corner of the page to remind them where they left off, b) and worse, annotating the book in the margins. In ink.

A friend of mine (American) lends books which she has read in one of her many hot steaming baths. Talk about warped.

U

Jennifer said...

"Shake it over some bread and make a sandwich" made me chuckle out loud here at my desk. I'll have to walk over to the library in a little while and tell our librarian about that! Haha!

Ms. Moon said...

Seriously? This woman felt the need to alert you about crumbs in a book? And took pictures? Get a GD life, woman. I'll never forget in one of Updike's books ("Couples"?) how a woman used a bacon strip as a book mark. This mother would swoon and call the police.
"Don't write a book about it..."
That's great.
Olga and her Kong. Like a child and their teddy bear.

Anonymous said...

A woman actually called about crumbs in a book? That's so ridiculous.
Olga is adorable with her toy, and Dave is very funny. Olga may want to write a book about it.

37paddington said...

Dave is funny and Olga is a very adorable would-be book writer. You and I are very lucky to have home chefs cooking for us. I, too, greet every culinary experiment, success or not, with enthusiasm.

Ellen D. said...

We would flip through each of the books as we checked them in - looking for damage, stains, etc. ...but you can't catch everything! Patrons might point something out so they don't get blamed (or charged). We would make a small notation near the title page if we spotted any damage.

Red said...

Some of he library books must go through some interesting experiences and some of the fix jobs can be crude. I'm one of those old boys who took a lot of discards. My 90 year old friend was moving to care so had 4000 books to get rid of. Guess who was a sucker?

Blondi Blathers said...

Dave's comment to Olga reminded me of what my taller half likes to say about me washing dishes (and drying them, and putting them away): that I "make a career out of it." -Kate

Sharon said...

Library books must go through all kinds of experiences. I have a vague memory of finding a note in one when I was a kid but I don't remember what it said or what I did about it.
Olga looks so sweet hugging her Kong.

The Bug said...

I guess that's the good thing about me only reading books on my phone - I don't (usually) get food on them. I'm so spoiled now that I won't read a real book. In fact, someone gave one to me to read a while ago & I'm thinking of seeing if the library has a copy I can download so I'll actually finish the thing (it's pretty good!). Ha!

Linda Sue said...

I dunno, make a commitment, meat is meat and substitute is not.Have you ever tried tofurky?Naugahyde! Soy beans made to look like a turkey but tastes like a steering wheel. Terrible.
I would read Olga's book!

Sabine said...

TVP? Gruesome stuff. Just use some black beans or lentils next time in the chili.

My sister abhors libraries for exactly that reason, she gets the shivers thinking how many grubby hands may have touched a book. I never felt anything close.

Well done with the shifting and shelving, librarians are the fittest.

Margaret said...

I love vegetarian chili but don't try to add any fake meat to it. The base of it is vegan (for my formerly vegan daughter), then for vegetarians, there is grated cheese and sour cream, and for the meat eaters I add shredded chicken. It's a great dish for mixed diets. I wonder what a dog would write a book about. Walks, food, sleeping, pooping? :)

Catalyst said...

Quorn (the meat substitute) sounds disgusting. I'm with Dave. Olga's hesitation might mean Dave is not always welcoming. But the last photo is wonderful.

ellen abbott said...

I checked a book out of our library and it had food stains on some of the pages. when I returned it, I don't remember if it was after I browsed and came to the desk with new ones or if the librarian called me, but she pointed out that the book I had turned in had food stains in it and wanted to know if I had done that. Like that when I got it I told her. the one and only time I'm aware that a book I returned was checked for damage. I was a little insulted to tell the truth though I realize the librarian didn't know me.

as for fake meat, I don't get it. if you want meat flavor, eat meat (same with flavored anything like chips). I especially think meat grown in a lab from a few animal cells is creepy.

Janie Junebug said...

You made me laugh with shake it over some bread and make a sandwich. I used to make a vegetarian chili for my daughter and her friends. They loved it; I thought it was disgusting. The late great Faulkner the Collie would come to the door when he wanted in and then hesitate when we opened it for him. We always sang "should I stay or should I go."

Love,
Janie

Debby said...

Seriously, the title of this post made me stop and consider whether I really wanted to read it or not.

Steve Reed said...

I didn't realize it was fungal in origin until I wrote this post! I thought it was soy. I agree with you -- it's not my favorite either. My general rule in vegetarian cooking is not to use an ingredient that's pretending to be meat. Instead, just use vegetables and be happy with what they are!

Steve Reed said...

I mean, there ARE limits to my patience. LOL

Steve Reed said...

I used to buy something called tofu crumbles which could be used pretty successfully in place of ground beef -- but that was 20 or 30 years ago in Florida. Haven't seen that product here in the UK!

Steve Reed said...

THE END

Steve Reed said...

I agree. A veg curry is a wonderful thing. I eat it pretty often at work, actually.

Steve Reed said...

I don't know whether Quorn and TVP are the same. As for crumbs, of course I look for obvious book damage but library users must assume some of the risk!

Steve Reed said...

Awwww. Dave is a character.

Steve Reed said...

Ha! I should have thought of that!

Steve Reed said...

It IS a very American thing to do -- multitasking while reading and of course involving food.

Steve Reed said...

I think he actually said JFG, which might be slightly MORE cryptic! But I assume it's related to JFC. LOL

This fake meat DEFINITELY contained fungus protein, but some is just soy or tofu based. I am never eating an earthworm. That is my solemn vow.

Steve Reed said...

Oh, we certainly talk to the kids about caring for books and respecting other users. The lessons sink in with varying degrees of success. We have a lot of page-corner benders, even though we give away free bookmarks, and water-warping is one of my pet peeves.

Steve Reed said...

Call it a "library sandwich"! LOL

Steve Reed said...

HA! I love that about the bacon strip. Hilarious. Olga really DOES get some degree of security from her Kong.

Steve Reed said...

Isn't it ridiculous? I thought so.

Steve Reed said...

Maybe you can help Olga with her book proposal? LOL

Steve Reed said...

I guess I should be flipping through the books but I don't. I can generally tell by feel if a book has been damaged -- if the binding is loose or torn, or if stuff is stuck between the pages. But those crumbs did get past me.

Steve Reed said...

Did you take all 4,000 of them?!?!

Steve Reed said...

Ha! And what's wrong with being thorough, after all?!

Steve Reed said...

I find notes in them all the time. Sometimes I try to give them back to the kid and sometimes I just throw them out. I always read them. LOL

Steve Reed said...

Are you doing audiobooks or e-books? Seems like reading on a phone would be arduous, with such a small screen.

Steve Reed said...

Yeah, I agree. If you're vegetarian, eat vegetables. In fact Dave has made vegetarian chili using just vegetables and it's good. I don't know what possessed him to try the "earthworms."

Steve Reed said...

Yes, bean chili is always a good option! I kind of like the well-worn nature of some library books. It's evidence that the book has been loved by lots of people.

Steve Reed said...

I agree -- veg chili with no fake meat is a better option. I always eat cheese and sour cream with mine!

Steve Reed said...

I was avoiding the brand name so as not to sully the brand. LOL! But hey, I don't think the comments are searchable, so no big deal. :)

Steve Reed said...

There's a threshold for challenging people over damage, and for me, a few stains is below it. (Depends on how bad they are, of course.) I will challenge people if a book has been damaged by water, though, because no one wants to read a warped book. I agree re. the fake meat.

Steve Reed said...

Faulkner probably wanted you to come outside! Olga does that sometimes -- tries to lure us out by standing in the doorway.

Steve Reed said...

Ha! Sorry about that, and glad you persevered.

David said...

TVP is from soy. It is a useful substitute (sometimes) for beef mince, but needs a LOT of flavorings to camouflage a distinct TVP-soybean taste.

David said...

TVP is added to practically all meat pies (at least where I am from). TVP is generally known as "meat extender". I read somewhere that legally bakers are allowed to add up to 25% (or was that 50%?) Later: Quick google search revealed that in the USA, the limit is 30%.

Edna B said...

Your garden looks like Spring. You seem to get the season before we do. What a great photo of Olga. Good thing I don't do chili. You have a super day, hugs, Edna B.

The Bug said...

I do both. Sometimes I'll read the book on my iPad with the larger screen, but mostly I increase the size of the font to something easy to read.

I did find that book at the library & I checked it out. The reason I like them on the phone is that I do most of my reading while I'm waiting to do other things. I only read at home when I'm close to the end of the book & want to see what happens.