Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Civil Union

So did I mention that Dave and I are tying the knot? After almost 15 months of dating, we're going to have a civil union ceremony. We'll do it in two weeks or so -- just us, with the mayor officiating, and a few friends as witnesses. Very low-key!

I've lately been perplexed when I watch movies or TV shows and see people having jitters before their marriages. I am SO not jittery. In fact, as we sat in the city clerk's office this morning applying for our license, I felt only certainty.

We pick up the license in 72 hours. Then we're off to Florida for about a week, so Dave can meet my family and see my home turf. When we return to New Jersey, we'll make it all official.

Of course I've told my family about my plans, and they approve -- as much as they can, anyway, since some of them haven't yet met Dave. Dave's family is pretty conservative, so I'm honestly not sure how they feel. We'll learn more when we visit them in Michigan later this summer!

Gay marriage is not an issue that gets me greatly fired up. At the same time, it's a drag that our union will only be good in New Jersey, and carries no federal recognition for tax purposes and whatnot. It's marriage in our minds.

(Photo: Leaf shadows on West 14th Street, on June 15.)


The Bug said...


I married my husband about 18 months after our first kiss (we were just buddies before that) & I just knew that it was totally the right thing. No jitters at all - in fact I was mostly impatient because I wanted all of my STUFF in one place (I was mostly living with him, but not technically). Really, in my mind, we were already married - we just needed the official ok.

That was 19 1/2 years ago - & I've never regretted it for a moment.

e said...

I wish you both the best! Dave's got a great guy in you...I was always afraid you'd end up a confirmed bachelor...

Health and much happiness to you and Dave!

utahDOG! said...

Get him to sign on the line before he meets us or he'll never go through with it!!

mouse (aka kimy) said...


wonderful news - i hope i can meet dave next trip to your neck of the woods.

low key is a lovely key!!

37paddington said...

Wonderful! You do seem very sympatico, you two.

My mother always told me to marry my best friend, that all the rest of it would come and go, but your enjoyment of that person's company would never wane. She said true love was a feeling of "deep ease." We're 24 years now, and counting!

But yes, I did have jitters. I was still in my 20s. And as you probably know I never met a life choice that I couldn't worry to pieces!

So, so happy for you both!

Watson said...

Best wishes to you and Dave. May you have many happy years together.

Mark said...

This is extremely cool ... congratulations!!!

Lorianne said...

Congratulations! That's wonderful news!

I think much of the pre-wedding nervousness people experience has more to do with the wedding ceremony than the marriage itself. If you're planning a traditional white wedding with all the trimmings, it can be very stressful because there are so many things you have to do "just right." If anything goes wrong, then your Special Day is "ruined."

Or so goes the Special Day mentality. I realize this now that I'm planning wedding #2, which is far less traditional than wedding #1. When you aren't worried about getting everything "just right," then you can actually focus on celebrating your relationship, which is the important thing. The rest is just party-planning. :-)

The more low-key your wedding, the less reason you have to be nervous about the ceremony itself, and I think that's the main thing people get jitters about.

Reya Mellicker said...

NO you didn't mention it. CONGRATULATIONS!! I'm so happy for you.

Wow and wow! Bravo. I believe in love. xx

Steve Reed said...

Thanks for the good wishes, everybody!

Utahdog: We've applied for the license, so he's officially committed. :)

Lorianne: I think you're right. If I were planning a big to-do I'd be nervous too. I'm glad I waited until I was older and wiser to get hitched!