Planning a Wedding

I wrote in June about Dave's and my frustrated attempt to get married in England. The upshot was that we couldn't, because we'd already been Civil Unioned in New Jersey, and thus are already effectively married under English law.

We let the matter lie for the time being and had our wedding garden party anyway.

Now, we have a different plan. We're thinking we'll get married this December in Florida, with another small party for our American friends and family members. I still need to make sure our earlier Civil Union won't present a conflict under Florida law, but I don't think so -- since in America a Civil Union is not quite a marriage.

Oh, the bureaucracy.

Meanwhile, my friend Sue is saving my neck by helping to plan our party, which will be a very casual, very small gathering in Tampa. As we have already established I am not a natural party planner.

We've settled on a location, loosely selected caterers and chosen a date. There are still Evites to send -- no fancy engraved snail mail for us -- and rings to buy. Dave's parents have said they'll bring the cake. (Woo hoo! Will it have two little grooms on top? I wonder.)

I'm still filled with a pervasive doubt that all of this is even necessary -- in my eyes I married Dave five years ago, and my instinct is to do things quietly and without fanfare. But because the same-sex marriage laws have changed so dramatically since then, Dave feels we should now have the benefits -- whatever they are -- of full-fledged marriage. And he wants a public event to celebrate the occasion.

Ultimately, we're getting there!

(Photo: Westbourne Grove, in early July.)