Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Planning a Wedding

I wrote in June about Dave's and my frustrated attempt to get married in England. The upshot was that we couldn't, because we'd already been Civil Unioned in New Jersey, and thus are already effectively married under English law.

We let the matter lie for the time being and had our wedding garden party anyway.

Now, we have a different plan. We're thinking we'll get married this December in Florida, with another small party for our American friends and family members. I still need to make sure our earlier Civil Union won't present a conflict under Florida law, but I don't think so -- since in America a Civil Union is not quite a marriage.

Oh, the bureaucracy.

Meanwhile, my friend Sue is saving my neck by helping to plan our party, which will be a very casual, very small gathering in Tampa. As we have already established I am not a natural party planner.

We've settled on a location, loosely selected caterers and chosen a date. There are still Evites to send -- no fancy engraved snail mail for us -- and rings to buy. Dave's parents have said they'll bring the cake. (Woo hoo! Will it have two little grooms on top? I wonder.)

I'm still filled with a pervasive doubt that all of this is even necessary -- in my eyes I married Dave five years ago, and my instinct is to do things quietly and without fanfare. But because the same-sex marriage laws have changed so dramatically since then, Dave feels we should now have the benefits -- whatever they are -- of full-fledged marriage. And he wants a public event to celebrate the occasion.

Ultimately, we're getting there!

(Photo: Westbourne Grove, in early July.)


  1. Every wedding party needs a first rate planner - I hope things work out for you both in this next step of your married life....

    Good luck!

    Ms Soup

  2. That would make a cracking greetings card loved it

  3. What a great idea - both romantically and bureaucratically. You don't want to fall into some future Kafkaesque snarl of red tape, and the more celebrations there are, the better!

  4. I think you should celebrate and congratulations to you both! Loved Olga's FB photo this morning, too.

  5. Dave is such a romantic. You may not stay in England forever and so yeah, get married. It will be wonderful and you can think of it as renewing your vows.

  6. I think Dave is right to want this. Everyone deserves a public affirmation of their love and commitment, and then to celebrate with the people who care about and who love you.
    I think it is a fabulous idea. to the max! No blurry lines.

  7. benefits of marriage, I can think of only one, the health system will only allow spouse in to see sick other spouse in hospital, and the fifty fifty law in Washington state is pretty nifty. I do love a good wedding and if you were to get married in London I would be there in a heart beat, with a toaster and a blender and the traditional double champagne glasses! I have two grooms for your cake, let me know I can send them to you. They are from an art box thing I made years ago for my other friend who did not want to spoil his lots of boys shenanigans by getting married...he is dead now, not from too many boyfriends but from Parkinsons's, so the "art" nonsense can be dismantled. Anyway, sounds like a great idea in Tampa, would be wonderful in London but there you go...

  8. That sounds like an excellent idea!

  9. Excellent! I would make plans to crash it (really, I wouldn't), but our December is already pretty crazy :)