Yesterday morning, when my brother and I took my niece to school, it was really foggy. These guys were sitting out on the St. John's River, fishing, and the view was just a milky whiteness. Normally you'd be able to see the opposite shore from here.
After dropping off Jane, we stopped in at a coffee place on the north side of the city. This was the doorstep of an adjacent building:
Do you suppose it once sold models, like the ones kids build? Or maybe model railroads? Maybe both? That seems like a pretty narrow focus of business, but perhaps back in the day there were enough model enthusiasts to make such an enterprise viable. I suppose like everything else it's now all online.
Later we went to run an errand. I am keeping two of our family quilts, which were made by my great-grandmother many years ago, and I thought rather than trying to bring them on the plane (I have no baggage allowance with this ultra-cheap ticket I bought) I would mail them. So we boxed them up and took them to the UPS store.
The box is not huge -- 16x16x12, and weighing about 9.5 pounds. Just guess how much the UPS store told me it would cost to ship that box to England.
I was thinking $75, or maybe $100. But no -- it would cost SEVEN HUNDRED AND SIX DOLLARS. Unless I took the slower option, with delivery in five days, which would cost a mere FIVE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-SIX DOLLARS. And that was the cheapest they could do.
Needless to say, we didn't ship the quilts.
I think we're going to try again today at the post office, which (online at least) is quoting me a much more affordable rate.
After that we went to see my mom, whose hair was up in a stylish scrunchie. My mom has had short hair all her life so I've never seen it look anything like this. She laughed when we touched it and she laughed when I showed her this picture -- but then again she laughs at pretty much everything.
We did have a little breakthrough moment, though. One of her pals, a fellow patient on the floor named Helga, rolled up to us and kept pointing at me and asking Mom, "Do you know this man?" Now, for years, my mom's vocabulary has been pretty much limited to the words "No" and "Oh, God." But when Helga asked her that, Mom said, "Yes!" My brother and I were impressed and I got choked up.
I think today I may try to take her for a little walk outside.
My mother has physical decline. I think it must be harder to see a mother in mental decline. Grab what you can from the moments.
ReplyDeleteThat is extortionate!! I suppose it isn't just the weight, but the value.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it worth waiting until someone travels to England with a baggage allowance!!
A precious moment with your mum
That moment between Helga and mum was wonderful. I remember similar things with my mum when suddenly out of nowhere she would surprise us.
ReplyDeleteThat choked me up, too. My aunt, who lived with dementia for more than 10 years, finally didn’t appear to make any connections anymore. She had imprinted on her wonderful care giver and simply followed instructions -- until she forgot a second later. I was visiting her with one of my cousins who over the years would always accept gifts from our aunt saying, “I’ll give this to Ellen [her daughter].” The caregiver gave something to my cousin because she was trying to make more room and my aunt looked up and said, “Give it to Ellen.” We both teared up. I thought YOU had scruncy hair and I wondered how THAT happened.
ReplyDeletePowerful, that response from your Mom.
ReplyDeleteI think she's happy you're there even if a bit perplexed about who you are! I'm glad for her family's sake that she's cheerful rather than anxious. You're a good son to make this visit.
ReplyDeleteLovely story about your mom. I feel a little teary myself.
ReplyDeleteCarlos was sending a package to his mother in Mexico City and it runs between $75 and $125; I'll tell him about your $750 and he won't feel so angry.
You have managed to tear up more than a few of us with your Mom's "Yes." Poignant. Certainly answered any question you may have had about the value of your trip. x
ReplyDeleteSweetness that your mother recognizes you.
ReplyDeleteIt is foggy here this morning too. The condensation is falling from the leaves and almost sounds like rain drops.
Dementia is such a horrible disease that robs us of our loved ones before they die. I'm glad your mom said yes. As for the scrunchie, I too wondered how you could get one in your hair:)
ReplyDeleteAw - I'm glad your mother knew who you were! That's the saving grace with Mike's dad - he knows who everyone is, he just can't remember what he asked you three minutes ago or what the answer was.
ReplyDeleteThat is CRAZYPANTS shipping. Man. Almost makes me want to take a trip to London so I can bring a quilt in my luggage for you.
Back when I was young, the town I live in now had a model store. Probably about a third of it was dedicated to models of all sorts, another third was dedicated to model painting supplies and the last third was dedicated to other similar hobbies. I think there were a big aisle of puzzles too. It was my heaven at that age.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you have one near you down there, but I prefer to just go to a generic shipping store. The one near me ships via UPS, USPS, FedEx and DHL and so when I throw a box on the scale, they can give me the lowest price through all four.
The story about your mom reminded me of a sweet moment Roger and I had with my mom. We went to visit her in the assisted living facility. When she saw us standing there she said, "Hi Roger, where's your wife?" I was standing right next to him. Maybe she remembered me as the brown-haired girl of my youth and what she saw was a gray-haired woman with her favorite son-in-law!
ReplyDeleteThose foggy gray skies look so familiar to me. That's what our skies have looked like for days and weeks.
Those prices for shipping are crazy!
I am glad that you had that moment with your mom. Try some music with her, some old music that she enjoyed. Sometimes the results are stunning.
ReplyDeleteCan't you just register an extra suitcase when you go home?
Oh Steve, I am so happy for you and your mom for that.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great experience with your mother. I hope your walk today goes well.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that shipping price. That is just crazy.
A moment of clarity. How nice for you.
ReplyDeleteI never ship by UPS or FedEx anymore as they are ridiculously expensive, always the post office as it is so much cheaper and it gets there in one piece, usually in just 3 days. Out of the country takes a little longer but I've only mailed stuff to Canada.
I am glad your Mom laughs a lot. I hope she is enjoying life in her own way. It is terrific that she remembered you!
ReplyDeleteIs it cheaper to bring the quilts as an extra bag on the plane?
sometimes what I get are the plastic travel bags at dollar store that squoosh the air out of the clothing or blankets within, makes them flat- you know the ones. Make it a small dense package and it will ship for less USPS. It will never be cheap but NOT seven hundred effing dollars!! UPS is more expensive than USPS- and if they are handmade quilts - totally worth it! Cheaper than your dog sitting service!!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of the extra bag on the airplane route too. It's another $30 or so plus the suitcase but still cheaper. I'm delighted that your mom responded!
ReplyDeleteThat store was obviously a secret meeting place for the Illuminati - see the pyramid?
ReplyDeleteYes has always been my favorite word - maybe your favorite too, now.
I think the last model I built was more than 40 years ago. (a Goodyear blimp that had a message you colored that would manually scroll)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad seeing your mother has been a positive experience.
I'm glad you had that moment with her. She looks very different now.
ReplyDeleteThe model store may have been where lecherous men went to pick up models dressed in the latest bathing costumes. They may have strutted their stuff in the window - like mobile mannequins.
ReplyDeleteNice to hear you got some response from your mother.
That's a sweet and precious moment with your mom. My best friend suffered from early onset dementia, she had stopped communicating with words when our of the blue she told her husband he was the love of her loved and she wanted him by her side forever. I was lucky enough to witness this. Her husband and I both cried. I'm so glad she's in a happy place emotionaly. She looks cute in that scrunchie! Seems I can only comment from my kindle fire and not my iphone. Strange.
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Barbara
It's sad to see once vibrant people left with so little. Most of the person is gone.
ReplyDeleteYour Mum knew you!! I'm so glad :)
ReplyDeleteHorrified at the cost of shipping the quilts though, I hope you get a much better deal from the regular post office.
I'm glad you ditched UPS for the post office. That's robbery! Love your mom's hair and YES!!!
ReplyDelete