Sketch Book

While walking yesterday morning, Olga and I found a rain-soaked sketchbook lying on the sidewalk outside a grocery store, near some trash bins. I picked it up and noticed it was full of artworks, so I brought it home. It was sopping wet but by the time we got to the house it had stopped dripping, at least, and I was able to dry it during the day while I was at work.

When I looked through the book, it quickly became apparent that the sketcher, whoever he or she was, wasn't much of an artist. But the sketchbook told a story nonetheless.

Many of the images were dark. I soon realized the sketcher was drawing more for the sake of therapy than artistic expression.

Some of the drawings, like the one above, had notes on the back:

Feel as if rain is burning my face

tingling no it's going to get more intense

beginning to feel its near the end, then starts again

up and down like a yo-yo.

Soon it became apparent that there was, perhaps, a specific struggle going on.

feel trapped within a maze inside

my own head trying to find

way out, trying to concentrate to

beat it out of me. feel like i'm getting

somewhere, something distracts me,

feel angry but hide it.

hypnotic sounds and visuals.

feel as though i'm being drawn even

further, another world, another stage

more developed and mentally demanding

than the last, not sure what to expect

feel as though i'm going into a trance,

feel light, floaty, heart pounding, everything

i'm seeing is abstract, distorted.

These were the best sketches, I felt, showing something of a progression, though there were many others -- the entire book was full. There was no specific conclusion.

So what are the ethics involved in my deciding to post them? Well, their message seems to be worth something, and while I certainly don't want to violate anyone's privacy, there are no identifiers attached to the book or the individual drawings. I don't know whose they are. I couldn't even begin to guess.

It's a bit like posting entries from that diary I bought at the estate sale years ago (which I still have, by the way). Maybe these drawings will speak to someone. Maybe their story of anonymous human struggle, however ambiguous, is valuable.