Our garden is suddenly full of spiders. This happens every year in late summer -- webs go up all over and the spiders set up housekeeping. This variety is the aptly named Garden Spider (Araneus diadematus). Remember our erstwhile companion Pat the Balcony Spider? She was one too.
I had a recurring dream last night in which I suddenly realized I owned a second apartment. I don't have this dream often, but it pops up now and then. The apartment was simultaneously both close to me and in Florida. I could even picture it from the outside -- a corner unit in a modern building, resembling the condos where we used to stay at the beach when I was a kid. I occasionally have this dream and think, "Gee, I haven't been there in ages," and I wonder what's happened to all my stuff while I've been away and realize I need to revisit it again.
A variation on this dream is that I realize the apartment where I live has a downstairs, and sometimes there's an evil presence down there. Something threatening. An unseen monster.
I'm sure this can all be interpreted in different ways, dealing with unrealized potential or internalized anxiety or both. Dreams are very strange things.
I mailed off my medical test, my box-of-breath, yesterday, trudging to the post office on a break from work in late morning. So at least that's out of my life.
Dave and I have been watching 9/11 documentaries the last few days -- one called "9/11: Inside the President's War Room" that tracks the response of everyone in the Bush administration (made with their cooperation and thus understandably very pro-Bush). And another called "9/11: The Falling Man" about a famous photo from that day and its repercussions, which I found very interesting as both a photo enthusiast and a former journalist.
But perhaps the most remarkable 9/11 documentary, to me, is still this one (called simply "9/11") by a pair of French filmmakers who were embedded with a local group of firefighters on the day disaster struck. They got a lot of incredible footage from inside the towers as events unfolded. It's just about the closest thing to being there. I remember seeing it when it came out in 2002 and we watched it again last night. (No wonder I've been having anxiety dreams!)
I have an automatic aversion to anything 9/11-related, but also a conflicting desire to watch it, maybe to understand the event better. I suppose many of us share this natural tension, and this seemed like a good time to indulge it, around the 20th anniversary -- but now Dave and I are both ready to return to our regularly scheduled programming.
41 comments:
There has been one of those spiders in a web about 6 inches from my kitchen window for the last week. No sign of it this morning ( or the web).....I think it must have been washed away! I sometimes wonder where they are hiding before they start appearing in their webs at this time of year..and why aren't they out catching flies all year round.
We just last night started watching Turning Point 9/11 The War on Terror. Haven’t been able to watch much until now. Garden Spider sounds so sweet. As for the second apartment dream, don’t you wish you COULD have an apartment so conveniently located to London and Florida?
Jenny in Canada posted in a comment on my blog a link to a very interesting written piece about Falling Man. It was intriguing. We watched a terrific doco about 9/11 but I can't even remember its name or where it was made.
I love the spider and the web. Spiders are in short supply at our height above ground but there is a couple of very tiny species.
Do you think it would be worth marketing your breath in little glass vials? You could call it "Reed Breath" and the strapline might be "When you need some intimacy". I hope your breath does not smell nasty. Some people have foul-smelling breath that reminds me of compost heaps or sweaty socks. You had better check the odour with Dave and your "co-workers" (English: colleagues) before launching "Reed Breath".
At least your box-of-breath wasn't as heavy as it could have been if it was, say, a box of ... I got nothin' ... but you know what I mean. lol
Recently I saw a stinging insect hover next to a spider web - with the spider in it - and to my horror it proceeded to dart with unbelievable quickness right at the spider and carry it off! It was a bit traumatic, as I feel quite protective of our spiders (all of whom are non-poisonous, so it's relatively easy to feel that way). Your excellent photo reminded me of it all over again ack!
The Falling Man article at Esquire.com that Andrew referred to was haunting and brought back one of the sharpest memories of 9/11 for me. The firewall for non-members has been restored so unless you have a subscription you can no longer access it, but I suspect it's basically the same as the documentary you watched. The link is: https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a48031/the-falling-man-tom-junod/
I've watched that video from the young Frenchmen so many times. We used to live in New York; I had NYC firemen on either side of me. At the time, I think there were a dozen maybe living on my street? (Think it was one guy moved his family, liked it, and then others came.) Only one didn't make it home; Michael Fodor, my next-door neighbor. He was from Ladder 21. Each year I watch all the memorial shows; some of them (most?) play footage from the command centers, etc., set up in the WTC lobbies. I always look for a glimpse or mention of Mike. I don't think it will ever not be heartbreaking.
Anxiety dreams are a bit common at the moment for me, too. While I didn't watch any 9/11 documentaries, I did a fair amount of reading this past week. Jennifer Senior wrote a long and truly poignant article in The Atlantic about one family's experience then, through the years and now. Also found I still had a copy of The Washington Post magazine (Sunday supplement) that came out on October 2, 2001. All photos from NY, the Pentagon and PA with brief commentaries--looking back 20 years and thinking of all we know/don't know now made for a reflective read. Heartbreaking.
I watched part of Memory Box from MSNBC about 9/11. It had people record their experience during 9/11 and it was very moving. Lots of amazing footage of what happened at the different locations that were hit. The 2nd half was the same people back to record 20 years later. I still have the 2nd half to watch because the first half was exhausting to watch.
The dream I had this morning before I woke up was filled with anxiety about covid and my husband and what would happen if he got ill and there were no ambulances or rooms at the hospital because of covid cases and there's no mystery to this- we are seeing it everywhere. People dying because the hospitals are too full to handle "regular" emergencies. And that sort of anxiety follows me all day long.
I would so much rather think about spiders.
I had a crazy dream last night - apparently the Nazis had taken over & were executing people. We were all just hanging around waiting on our turn. Every time it was my turn I would get in the chair & the blade would ALMOST be at my neck & something would distract the executioner so I'd go back & hang out with the other folks. SO WEIRD! What was scary was each time I'd think - well at least I won't have this headache anymore. (Note: woke up today headache free for the first time in over a week, so maybe the dream worked!)
Interesting I was just telling Roger the other day that spider season seems to be ending here in the Pacific Northwest. It will resume big time in late winter.
I can't watch any of the documentaries about 9/11, it's too heartbreaking and scary.
I feel the same way about 9/11 and watching documentaries. I remember seeing the French doc when it came up and having what I now know was an anxiety attack. it's remarkable how our bodies and minds react. I watched the National Geographic doc on Hulu about the day, told from the perspective of the survivors which included all that French footage. It truly is remarkable. I love your spider photo, by the way. They, too, are remarkable (the photo and the spider itself!).
Spiders scare the crap outta me. Even looking at 'em gives me a fright.
I still have a tough time watching 9/11 shows. When the planes hit and when they fell I ill never forget, so I really don't wish to see them on my TV.
It's moths here. We get an explosion of moths this time of year. I have a similar dream about a house that's still mine but I haven't been to for years.
I've watched a lot of 9/11 shows this last week but I have never seen the one you linked. I'll watch it later. It sounds interesting.
i appreciate your dreams, they feel familiar.
I don't understand the fascination with 9/11 or the whole never forget thing. but then I don't consider it an unprovoked attack either.
spider season here too but far fewer this fall which I guess is a result of the deep freeze last spring. mostly what I'm seeing is the little shield spiders.
I find that imagery from whatever book I'm reading often finds it's way into my dreams. like last night, it was full of underground tunnels and shafts which is straight out of my current book.
Spiders are everywhere here too. They've set up webs all over the hedge outside my window. Yesterday, my daughter got rid of several of the webs. The spiders will get over it. You have a super day, hugs, Edna B.
I avoided all of the 9/11 videos ... programs ... everything! 20 years later, I remember the initial showing of it all ... including the people who flung themselves out of the buildings ... horrifying! It's all implanted in my memory banks and so distressing that it blocks out memories I should be able to recall but don't or can't!!
Spiders ... ugh!!!
Ellen, totally agree with your first paragraph. Particularly the second sentence of it. That aspect can't be emphasized enough - not least in the wake of recent events. Am so glad someone (you) has the guts to say it out loud on a public forum.
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I love spiders as long as they aren't venomous (black widow, brown recluse). That said, I carry a fly swatter on my morning walks so I can blaze a path through the webs. I hate catching them with my face, especially when they're loaded with the undead trying to make an escape! We have a different "garden spider" in the US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argiope_aurantia
9/11 will always hold a powerful locus for many of us
Similar to wartime evens that haunted my grandparents
Maybe each spider lives only a year, and they're too small to see before they erect their webs in late summer? I'm sure yours has merely moved to a different part of the garden!
I think having a second home would stress me out. I'd be thinking too much about whether someone had broken in when I wasn't there.
That article, by Tom Junod in Esquire, is the one that the TV documentary is based on.
As far as I know I don't have bad breath, but I also don't think I have marketable breath!
Yes, that's the same article on which the documentary was based. In fact, the author, Tom Junod, appears in the documentary. Spiders DO have predators!
I wonder if that footage from the command centers comes from these filmmakers? At the beginning of their movie they say they have the only known footage from inside Tower 1 during the attacks. That's tragic about your neighbor -- a tragedy repeated thousands of times all across the region.
I read that Atlantic article! It WAS terrific. We have an issue of a newspaper magazine -- it might even be that one -- in our library from that time.
Sometimes you have to take these kinds of programs in doses! Watching it all at once can be too much.
I haven't had any Covid dreams yet -- fortunately! You can take great comfort from the fact that you're both vaccinated. I read that something like .8 percent of Covid deaths are in vaccinated people. But of course that doesn't help when people are ill with something other than Covid, so I understand your anxiety!
Wow! That IS a crazy dream! I would love to see some professional interpretation of that one. Glad your headache is gone!
Interesting that your spiders return in winter. Ours vanish in November or thereabouts.
Maybe that's one of the shows Elle mentioned above? The French documentary IS anxiety-provoking, for sure. It's hard to watch all those firefighters knowing what they're about to encounter.
Spiders have never bothered me as long as they're not ON me. I understand not wanting to watch the 9/11 docs. I'm conflicted about them myself.
Funny that you have the same dream! It must mean something!
I suppose they're probably pretty common dream-types. I wonder if cave people dreamed that they had another cave somewhere?
I can separate interest in the event from the "never forget" jingoism that came afterwards. I will say, though, that the one and only time I've flown an American flag from my window was on 9/11. Virtually everyone in the city was doing it. It felt uniting.
Ursula: I agree with questioning the acts that led to 9/11 and considering America's responsibility for those acts. But none of the people in those towers or on those planes deserved what happened to them. Of course you could make the same argument about civilians in Iraq or in Nicaragua or in Chile or Vietnam.
Spiders bounce back pretty quickly! You may find all those webs rebuilt in a day or two!
It is distressing. I totally understand. I think all of us feel somewhat scarred by what we saw that day.
I like spiders too. I have a strict no-kill policy when it comes to spiders! (And most insects, actually.) At least with your swatter you can brush them aside rather than killing them. That spider is impressive -- kind of similar to the "banana spiders" we had in Florida (but a different species, apparently).
Well, it WAS a wartime event, in some ways. Bush considers himself a wartime president.
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