Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Cozy Hottie

I happened to walk past this electrical wholesaler's shop in Kensington on Sunday morning. As I glanced in the window, I saw this:

I thought, "Why is there a stuffed cow in the shop window at an electrical wholesaler?"

Upon doing further research I've realized that a) it's a giraffe, not a cow, and b) it's called a "Cozy Hottie." It includes a scented wheat-grain pouch in its belly that can be removed, microwaved and reinserted, making the giraffe warm and cuddly. I still don't really understand why it's in the window of an electrical wholesaler -- but why not?

On a completely different note, I've been thinking lately of a time in my distant past when I completely embarrassed myself. I don't know why this memory has come to me recently. It involves a class I took in college called "expository writing," where we would discuss and debate ideas before writing papers about them.

I sat in class with a girl named Penny, who wore thrift store skirts and had a thick, blond braid that she used to wrap around the top of her head. She looked like a Norwegian hippie milkmaid. Another kid in the class was an evangelical Christian who used to advance a lot of ├╝ber-conservative social ideas about the evils of gays and abortion.

Penny and I both took umbrage with this kid.

One day, during a heated debate about something or other -- I don't quite remember the context -- the Christian kid was talking about taking moral direction from God. He argued that secular humanists didn't have any moral foundation.

"Of course they do!" I argued.

The teacher, Dr. C, asked where that foundation came from.

"The God of humanism!" I said.

The entire class just stopped. The Christian kid, looking down at his desk, shook his head and smiled tightly. Dr. C looked at me blankly and said, "There is no God of humanism."

And that's how I learned what "secular humanist" meant, because before that moment I clearly had absolutely no idea.

I felt stupid and Penny quietly said some consoling words, and the class moved on. But it annoyed me that I tripped up, because I was right about my greater point -- that humanists can be moral beings.

Too bad I didn't have a warm, scented giraffe to make me feel better!


  1. What the hell is a moral compass? Perhaps they sell them at the J.T.Denyer electrical shop. I have been a militant atheist since the age of ten and I have lived a wholesome, law-abiding life. I don't need some medieval literary concoction to guide or subdue me. The God of Secular Humanism is my conscience.

  2. Allways tricky when religion is mentioned on a blog. I myself gave up on god when my Father suffered intolerably before dying, I knew then that there was no god.
    I was 21 and do not regret it.
    I just wish that religion was not taught in schools. A code of living would be better until the person was old enough to turn to the religion of his own choice if he wanted.

  3. Well you know how I feel.
    Also? That cow is creepy.

  4. I quite often look back at some of my major boo boos. I learned from each one. I guess they had to happen.

  5. I've been an atheist for so long I can't remember how it happened. I love what Yorkshire Pudding wrote, "I don't need some medieval literary concoction to guide or subdue me. The God of Secular Humanism is my conscience." Yes!

  6. I actually told a lady on an airplane who kept talking about religion that I was a secular humanist when she asked what religion I was. She stopped talking to me. Whew! I think these days, we could all use a warm, scented giraffe to hug.

  7. I'm not sure if I'm a secular humanist or not. Most of the time I'm just a grouchy old man.

  8. I didn't know the name (humanist) for what I am until now, and I feel pretty stupid about THAT, so thanks, Steve :)

    I do like that giraffe. I use a microwavable heating pad on my hip at night. It is heavenly -- relieves any discomfort from the day's moving around.

  9. Aw - here I am in the minority, still clinging to an idea of God. Of course, that God-image has changed DRAMATICALLY from my Southern Baptist upbringing!

    I am going to need that giraffe here directly - it's only September & already I'm getting cold in our house. Poor Mike. Ha!

  10. "Too bad I didn't have a warm, scented giraffe to make me feel better!"


    Yeah. What situation isn't made better by a warm, scented giraffe? This made me laugh one of those "all better" laughs and I needed that today. So, thanks.

    Also, I agree with your point.